


yet another ndrv3 chat fic

by cluelessdoodle



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Bad Jokes, F/F, F/M, Group Chat Fic, Humor, LGBTQ Character, M/M, Memes, No Plot/Plotless, Swearing, danganronpa - Freeform, danganronpa v3, drv3 - Freeform, i just want them to be happy ok, theres probs enough of these already but i just wanna have fun, theyre all ~teens~ cuz yea, what do i tag this as i'm terrible at using ao3
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-07
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2020-06-23 21:36:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 31,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19709920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cluelessdoodle/pseuds/cluelessdoodle
Summary: i'm lesbian: OH!!! HIMIKO AND TENKO HAVE MATCHING NAMES!!!i thought you were japanese: how come you're speaking in all caps..??guac boy: karkat....shulock homo: HUHyknow like nya: HFNDBFBFBGBFFBDBSBDHDstabby mcgee: God fucking dammit. I can't believe this.





	1. why did this happen

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this at like midnight so i apologize if there are some mistakes. i swear i'll write something that isn't a chat fic HKDDBJS
> 
> who's who gets mentioned in this chap but here are the names
> 
> kokichi: panta rat  
> kaede: ultimate penis  
> rantaro: guac boy  
> shuichi: shulock homo  
> kirumi: MOM  
> gonta: big dick is back in town  
> ryoma: yknow like nya  
> miu: blonde little bitch  
> kiibo: do robots have dicks?  
> korekiyo: despicableXD  
> angie: elder price  
> tenko: i'm lesbian  
> himiko: i thought you were japanese  
> tsumugi: naruto x sasuke  
> maki: stabby mcgee  
> kaito: space jam

**Kokichi Ouma** added **Shuichi Saihara, Kaede Akamatsu, and 13 other people** to the chat.

 **Kokichi Ouma** changed 16 nicknames.

 **panta rat** changed the chat name to **ALL THE RATS.**

 **panta rat** : hEEYYYY YALLLL!!!~ >:3

 **ultimate penis** : oh no

 **ultimate penis** :

 **ultimate penis** : thIS FUCKING NICKNAME AGAIN RESLLY????

 **shulock homo** : kaede are you ok

 **ultimate penis** : no

 **shulock homo** : aight bet

 **ultimate penis** : how are you already at my door

 **shulock homo** : oh ykno 

**despicableXD** : May I ask, what is this for? 

**despicableXD** : 

**despicableXD** : I despise this already. So, so much.

 **big dick is back in town** : Oh? What this?

 **blonde little bitch** : GAHAHAHAHAHA

 **blonde little bitch** : IS THAT GONTA EIEHEIEHEJSHKSHDJDBF

 **panta rat** : yep yep!!! it's everyone's favorite bug boy!!~

 **blonde little bitch** : YOURE A RAT BUT A FUCKIN GENIUS

 **blonde little bitch** : (not as genius as ME though)

 **MOM** : 

**yknow like nya** :

 **stabby mcgee** :

 **MOM** : Kokichi, I am going to kill you with my bare hands.

 **yknow like nya** : Hey Kokichi, where are you? I just wanna talk.

 **stabby mcgee** : I'm going to my lab right now. You better fucking run.

 **panta rat** : haha! i'm in danger ":)

 **big dick is back in town** : Huh?? What happening?? Why you guys killing Kokichi?

 **big dick is back in town** : And why Gonta's name like this??

 **yknow like nya** : ...don't worry about it big guy

 **yknow like nya** : Anyways, Kokichi.

 **panta rat** : owo? what is it ryomaaa?

 **yknow like nya** : Did

 **yknow like nya** : Did you just use owo.

 **panta rat** : ÓwÒ?? whats wong Wyoma Howoshi??

 **blonde little bitch** : OwO!! does wyoma need the defibwiwatow?

 **guac boy** : OwO!! come on gwuys! we gotta save wyoma!! 

**yknow like nya** : Please, let me lay in the dirt and die there.

 **despicableXD** : I will join you as well, Ryoma.

 **big dick is back in town** : Huh?? Gonta no want Ryoma and Korekiyo dying!! They friends!!

 **yknow like nya** : Hhdjdbdjdb

 **yknow like nya** : I Love You™...

 **big dick is back in town** : Gonta loves you too!!! 8D Gonta love all his friends!!

 **naruto x sasuke** : awww, this is just plain cute!!!

 **naruto x sasuke** : 

**shulock homo** : is...is that tsumugi

 **panta rat** : well of course! who else would write a 48 chapter 150k word fanfic with naruto and sasuke??

 **naruto x sasuke** : HOW DID YOU FIND OUT ABOUT THATSBBFBDBFNDBDHDBD

 **space jam** : WHAJEGJDEHFJSJDK

 **space jam** : 48 CHAPTERS?!??!

 **i thought you were japanese** : jeez...naruto and sasuke is a terrible ship too....

 **naruto x sasuke** : this is SLANDER

 **i'm lesbian** : TENKO AGREES WITH HIMIKO!!!! :D

 **i'm lesbian** :

 **i thought you were japanese** :

 **i'm lesbian** : OH!!! HIMIKO AND TENKO HAVE MATCHING NAMES!!!

 **i thought you were japanese** : how come you're speaking in all caps..??

 **guac boy** : karkat....

 **shulock homo** : HUH

 **yknow like nya** : HFNDBFBFBGBFFBDBSBDHD

 **stabby mcgee** : God fucking dammit. I can't believe this.

 **elder price** : oh oh!! did someone mention karkat homestuck??? :000 angie loves that anime!!

 **naruto x sasuke** : i

 **panta rat** : WOW ranty!!! you really weeded out all the homestucks!!!!!

 **panta rat** : good joobbbbb!!!!

 **guac boy** : it's what i do best sir

 **blonde little bitch** : what the fuck is a homestuck??? that some weird kink or somethin??? 

**panta rat** : don't pretend like you don't know, miu

 **blonde little bitch** : I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOURE TALKIN ABOUT LIMPDICK

 **big dick is back in town** : Eh?? Homestuck..?? Gonta never heard of that before!!!

 **i thought you were japanese** : i don't know what that is either...

 **do robots have dicks?** : Ah! Homestuck is a VERY long webcomic made by Andrew Hussie, according to my search!!

 **do robots have dicks?** :

 **do robots have dicks?** : i'll be seeing you in court rat boy

 **blonde little bitch** : OH FUCK???? KIIBO SNAPPED???? HEKEBJEVSSH

 **ultimate penis** : why are you keyboard smashing like every message u bottom

 **blonde little bitch** : HHUUUUHH???? WHAIWDOSNS I AM N OT. A BOTTOM.

 **stabby mcgee** : That's what they all say.

 **space jam** : what's a bottom

 **big dick is back in town** : Gonta...not know what a bottom is..?

 **panta rat** : aWWW what pure little idiots!!! should i corrupt them?

 **space jam** : IM NOT AN IDIOTNDKDBND

 **yknow like nya** : Call Gonta an idiot again and I will punt you into the sun.

 **space jam** : WHAT ABOUT ME???,?,,?,!?! HIRHEISJSJS

 **big dick is back in town** : Ah, Ryoma, that is not necessary!!!! Even if it is Kokichi...

 **stabby mcgee** : Kaito, it's a well-known fact that you are an idiot. A little Baby.

 **panta rat** : yeaaah kaito!! how else would maki be a morosexual?

 **space jam** : ehhh?? morosexual??? what's that

 **stabby mcgee** : .

 **panta rat** : ,':^3c

 **stabby mcgee** : I'm going to ignore that terrible, awful face.

 **space jam** : whATS A MOROSEXUAL HELLO???

 **MOM** : Well, this question never seemed to get answered, so....

 **MOM** : Kokichi, why did you create this group chat?

 **panta rat** : i just wanted to make a place where we all talkedddd!!!! is that too much to ask for?

 **despicableXD** : Ah, so this is a means of communication for everyone in our class?

 **elder price** : angie loves this idea!!! atua says it will make a wonderful bonding experience for all of us!!!! :D

 **i thought you were japanese** : knowing us, were prolly just gonna....be chaotic....

 **despicableXD** : That is...a fair assumption.

 **i'm lesbian** : DEGENERATE!!!! don't speak to himiko like that!!!

 **despicableXD** : I...just agreed with her.

 **i'm lesbian** : but you're still a stinky boy!!!!!

 **do robots have dicks?** : Do I count as a stinky boy..?

 **big dick is back in town** : What about Gonta?? Gonta wanna be gentleman!!!

 **i'm lesbian** : .

 **i'm lesbian** : you two are...okay.

 **big dick is back in town** : 8D!! Gonta is glad!!

 **do robots have dicks?** : Ah!! Finally...something not robophobic...

 **big dick is back in town** : Um!! Also!!! Can everyone say their names?? Gonta sometimes can't tell who is who...because of Kokichi's nicknames.

 **yknow like nya** : Ah,...I'm Ryoma.

 **panta rat** : i'm everyone's favorite rat!!! obviously!!! 

**stabby mcgee** : He means he's Kokichi. I'm Maki.

 **space jam** : i'm kaito momota, luminary of the stars!!!!!!

 **shulock homo** : ah, it's shuichi

 **ultimate penis** : kaede!!!!

 **do robots have dicks?** : I am Kiibo!

 **blonde little bitch** : MIU IRUMA, GORGEOUS GIRL GENIUS WITH A GOLDEN BRAIN!!!!

 **i'm lesbian** : TENKO!!! >:D

 **i thought you were japanese** : himiko...

 **elder price** : angie is angie!!!

 **despicableXD** : Shamefully, Korekiyo.

 **MOM** : This is Kirumi.

 **guac boy** : rantaro...ur local cryptid

 **naruto x sasuke** : tsumugi!

 **big dick is back in town** : Oh, okay!!! Thank you all!!

 **yknow like nya** : Aaaaa

 **naruto x sasuke** : awhhh,...i ship it!

 **ultimate penis** : ryoma rlly being gay on main...what a legend

 **yknow like nya** : I

 **big dick is back in town** : Huh??? What that mean..??

 **yknow like nya** : ...don't worry about it, big guy.

 **ultimate penis** : :^)c

 **yknow like nya** : :)

 **big dick is back in town** : Gonta don't understand...but okay!!

 **shulock homo** : what did we do to deserve you...

 **MOM** : In this house, we love Gonta.

 **yknow like nya** : Hell yeah.

 **ultimate penis** : a legend!!! ryoma ur a legend.

 **MOM** : I am inclined to agree.

 **shulock homo** : same

 **guac boy** : hahaha

 **yknow like nya** : Dhut up

 **ultimate penis** : Dhut

 **MOM** : Dhut

 **panta rat** : Dhut

 **stabby mcgee** : Dhut

 **guac boy** : Dhut

 **despicableXD** : Dhut

 **naruto x sasuke** : Dhut

 **shulock homo** : Dhut

 **blonde little bitch** : Dhut

 **yknow like nya** :

 **yknow like nya** : I ask for so little. 

\-- **ryoma is a disaster** \--

 **disaster** : I'm going to singlehandedly kill you all.

 **token spider goth** : :)

 **PIANIST:** :)

 **DETECTIVE** : :)

 **cabbage cryptid** : :)

 **disaster** : :') Guess I'll die.


	2. kokichi nearly dies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **panta rat** : yknow who else likes cats?? tenko!!!
> 
> **i’m lesbian** : You Will Die By Tenko’s Hands
> 
> **  
> _i’m lesbian is offline._  
>  **
> 
> **panta rat** : haha shit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh just something i wanted to note!!! i wanna say gonta Cannot type for shit but just so his texts are actually readable he's Literate aghsjg
> 
> hope this chapter is ok!!

\-- **ALL THE RATS** \--

**panta rat** : weellll since maki’s a morosexual and ryoma’s a disaster, how y’all doin?? 

**stabby mcgee** : Given the chance, I will murder you.

**yknow like nya** : Same here but Maki

**yknow like nya** : Why’d you tell Kokichi, too..? About your whole deal

**panta rat** : oh no she didnt tell me!

**panta rat** : she’d rather kill me than tell me _that_

**panta rat** : i’m just smart!!!

**stabby mcgee** : Oh don’t pretend like you didn’t sneak into my room and steal my phone, rat.

**panta rat** : >:3

**guac boy** : yknow kichi im surprised ur this literate

**panta rat** : >:’O WHGAT IS THAT SUPSPOED TO MEAN

**guac boy** : there it is

**shulock homo** : kichi??

**panta rat** : it’s a nickname of course!!! from my beloved rantaro

**shulock homo** : ahh ok i see

**panta rat** : cmon shuichi!! i thought you were a detective youre smarter than this!!!

\-- **grapes** to **avocado** \--

**grapes** : HWEFUIHWEUIHEWFHF

**avocado** : HAHAHAHA

**avocado** : maki and ryoma arent the only disasters hahahaha

**grapes** : shut the hell ur MOTUTH

**avocado** : :P

\-- **ALL THE RATS** \--

**shulock homo** : ah,.. i suppose youre right

**shulock homo** : and another q,,

**shulock homo** : why is this group chat named “all the rats”?? shouldnt that b fr you, horny for hope dude (nag...something…), and leggy rich dude???

**blonde little bitch** : AHEUFDSKJFKJDSH GO OFF??

**do robots have dicks?** : I have been wondering that as well!!! And Shuichi, I believe the students you are talking about are Nagito Komaeda and Byakuya Togami!!

**blonde little bitch** : UFHWIEUFHSDNJKASFEWHGUGEH

**guac boy** : HAHAHAHA

**guac boy** : kiibo howd u even get that from shu’s description auhewifehefhwjk

**do robots have dicks?** : Well, just from what I’ve seen in the school and what Miu has told me..

**do robots have dicks?** : Nagito seems to get...excited when hope is mentioned, and Makoto has mentioned how Byakuya’s legs were “toooooo looong” for him to get on the cover of Vogue…

**blonde little bitch** : eVERY DAY IS LEG DAY

**MOM** : Oh no.

**ultimate penis** : MONDAY TUESDAY WEDNESDAY

**guac boy** : THIGHS CALVES ALL THE WAY

**panta rat** : THURSDAY FRIDAY SATURDAY

**naruto x sasuke** : SUNDAY IS THE ONE DAY

**guac boy** : I GET ON THE RUNWAY

**despicableXD** : Ready for it hunty…?

**blonde little bitch** : reADY FOR IT HUNTY???

**do robots have dicks?** : I

**do robots have dicks** : What…?

**space jam** : AWWW I MISSE D IT??

**space jam** : stupid PHONE being SLOW

**stabby mcgee** : ...You too?

**guac boy** : omg even kaito??

**do robots have dicks?** : I am...very confused..?

**panta rat** : well of course a stinky robot wouldn’t get the joke!!!!

**do robots have dicks** : :(

**ultimate penis** : stop being mean to kiibo hes trying his best

**ultimate penis** : but anyways

**ultimate penis** : taro that was like the first time i’ve ever seen you use all caps

**ultimate penis** : good job

**guac boy** : thanks k

**shulock homo** : does rantaro just have nicknames for everyone,,

**guac boy** : yea

**guac boy** : ure shu!!!

**shulock homo** : :’o

**ultimate penis** : he’s just too lazy to type out everyone’s actual names which is

**ultimate penis** : so valid

**big dick is back in town** : Oh? Rantaro have nicknames?? What is Gonta’s..?

**yknow like nya** : I’m curious about mine too…

**guac boy** : gonta ur … bee/bug/gon

**big dick is back in town** : Oh!!! Gonta love that!! :D

**guac boy** : coughcoughcgoughrYoMafewhjfhcough

\-- **ryoma is a disaster** \--

**disaster** : Given the legal opportunity, I will kill you all.

**cabbage cryptid** : good

**PIANIST** : :3c

\-- **ALL THE RATS** \--

**ultimate penis** : HAHAHAH

**ultimate penis** : we’re really bullying him so hard…i feel kinda bad but it’s funny

**yknow like nya** : Perish

**guac boy** : anyways ryoma ur ryo/cat,,

**ultimate penis** : catbug….

**big dick is back in town** : Huh?? Catbug…?

**big dick is back in town** : Oh!! Are you saying that Ryoma likes cats and Gonta likes bugs so…catbug…?

**ultimate penis** : sure! whatever u say gonta :>

**yknow like nya** : Who even told you guys about the cat thing I

**elder price** : oh oh!!! angie was talking to peko...the girl with the 2 braids?? she likes cats and fluffy things as well!!! :D she said you loveddd cats too so!!!! :>

**yknow like nya** : That’s...fair.

**panta rat** : yknow who else likes cats?? tenko!!!

**i’m lesbian** : You Will Die By Tenko’s Hands

**_i’m lesbian is offline._ **

**panta rat** : haha shit

**despicableXD** : Oh dear Kokichi...you are a buffoon.

**i thought you were japanese** : i don’t get it… cats are fine...

**elder price** : angie doesnt get it either!!!! but angie will support tenko!!!!

**big dick is back in town** : Gonta not get it...But Gonta will support Tenko too!!!

**panta rat** : WHAT HTE FUCKF,..

**ultimate penis** : hey kokichi

**panta rat** : YESE WHAT IS IT IM\M CRURRENTLY RUNNGING

**ultimate penis** : you made me laugh good job

**panta rat** : THAT IS THE LEA TS OF MY WORREIS S RIGHT NTOW TENKO IS GOGING FERA L L AAAHJEWHG

**stabby mcgee** : Aw shit, am I missing the Kill Kokichi Event? Gimme a second

**_stabby mcgee is offline._ **

**panta rat** : WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FCKF EWGWHAT THE TUFKCJ

**_panta rat is offline._ **

**guac boy** : hahaahahah oh my god

**guac boy** : im w hiro right now and we just saw kichi tenk and maki fuckin..yeehaw their way by

**guac boy** sent look_at_this_dude.png

**ultimate penis** : HAHAHAHA

**ultimate penis** : i feel like i should feel bad for him but this is hilarious

**space jam** : GAHHAHAHAHHA

**blonde little bitch** : little rat gets what he deserves HFEHFEHJHJSHDJ

**MOM** : Should I try to put an end to this or…?

**guac boy** : not now this is too funny rumi

**MOM** : Noted.

**guac boy** : “RANTARO WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING AT ME I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS”

**space jam** : well aint this absolutely WILD

**space jam** : i mean he deserves it but still lol

**elder price** : oh wow!!!! angie just saw kokichi maki and tenko run by too!!!! :o

**elder price** : angie doesn’t think this will end well...but it’s amusing!!!!

**despicableXD** : Ah...I have just seen them run by… I did not expect to see them in the vents.

**guac boy** : _pardon?_

**blonde little bitch** : BWAHAHAJFSDHF THE VENTS??

**blonde little bitch** : the fuck are u in there for??? peeping???

**guac boy** : ok kork ilu but. why are u in the vents.

**despicableXD** : It is simply another way to study humanity… The people at this school are one of a kind.

**despicableXD** : And I feel it would be less… disorienting. Someone would be creeped out if I just stood there and studied them intensely.

**blonde little bitch** : fuckin DUHH but u being in the vents is waYYYY scarier!!!

**i thought you were japanese** : i was talking to mikan… she said once hiyoko saw you in the vents and screamed…

**blonde little bitch** : sEE??

**despicableXD** : Ah. I see. Noted.

**guac boy** : OH MY GODJIGEGHEGJH GUYS

**blonde little bitch** : what is it avocado dick

**guac boy** : MAKI JSUT PULLED OUT A KNIFE FWEIUHWIUGEHIUEWG _@MOM @MOM @MOM @MOM_

**ultimate penis** : she WH A T

**MOM** : I see. Got it.

**_MOM is offline._ **

**shulock homo** : why must we be like this…

**ultimate penis** : that just how it b sometimes

**despicableXD** : It seems we cannot go a single day without some sort of disaster happening…

**despicableXD** : What a chaotic display of humanity.


	3. actual writing? in this chat fic? it's more likely than you'd think.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **guac boy** : i am fucking. a tree.
> 
>  **panta rat** : FWEUHFUWEHFJSFJS
> 
>  **blonde little bitch** : oh F U C K can i joIN>???
> 
>  **guac boy** : NOT LIKE THAT NOT LIKE THAT NOT L

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am absolutely Terrified that the actual non-chatfic writing in here is terrible. blease tell me what you think i'm trying my best and it's 1am

\-- **ALL THE RATS** \--

 **MOM** : I have put Maki and Kokichi in their respective rooms. They are grounded.

 **guac boy** : hahahha sucks 2 suck

 **elder price** : angie knew this would happen!!! angie can’t help but giggle. :3

 **i’m lesbian** : DEGENERATE MALE GETS WHAT HE GETS!!!!

 **i’m lesbian** : altho i’m sorry maki :(

 **panta rat** : >:C what did _i_ get grounded for!!!!!

 **panta rat** : i didnt even DO anything!!!!!

 **MOM** : It was not just because of this occasion, Kokichi. I have been waiting to ground you for a while.

 **blonde little bitch** : HAHAHAHAHA ITS WHAT YOU GET U RAT!!!!!!

 **panta rat** : >:T finE!!!!! i admit i’ve been annoying… sorry mom

 **MOM** : As long as you’ve learned your lesson.

 **ultimate penis** : like he won’t be pranking someone as soon as he gets ungrounded lol

 **space jam** : kaedes got a point!!!! kokichi will prolly still be an absolute rat!!!!

 **MOM** : I suppose you two are right, but still. I can’t just keep him trapped in his room everyday; that’s just inhumane.

 **despicableXD** : And Kokichi certainly makes the days more interesting.

 **shulock homo** : yeah...though he may be annoying sometimes, some of the things he does r funny…

 **guac boy** : hes like my best friend. luv u kichi

 **panta rat** : AWWWW so you guys are saying you liKE ME????

 **panta rat** : i’m so touched. my little heart is bursting right now.

 **panta rat** : and i luv u too taro. funky little cabbage man.

 **guac boy** : i am FAR taller than u

 **panta rat** : shhhhhhh taro shut up

 **guac boy** : i will not stand for this slander

 **guac boy** : i am not Little. 

**guac boy** : i am Tall.

 **guac boy** : you and ryoma? little.

 **yknow like nya** : I am aware. Thank you.

 **guac boy** : me? i am tall.

 **guac boy** : i am fucking. a tree.

 **panta rat** : FWEUHFUWEHFJSFJS

 **blonde little bitch** : oh F U C K can i joIN>???

 **guac boy** : NOT LIKE THAT NOT LIKE THAT NOT L

 **panta rat** : oh sure… we all know you have a tree kink rantaro

 **guac boy** : shut the hell ur mouth

 **blonde little bitch** : bet i know who wANTS to fuck a tree if yall catch my drift

 **ultimate penis** : H U H WEGIWEHGIWHEKJSDJHGDJKSGH

 **naruto x sasuke** : pardon my vulgar language but

 **naruto x sasuke** : miu what the FUCK does that mean

 **do robots have dicks?** : M..Miu… What is this supposed to mean?

 **space jam** : WHAT THE FUSDFUDFHDFKJD

 **yknow like nya** : I swear to god.

 **blonde little bitch** : antfarm dickhole x furry

 **ultimate penis** : ah. i understand.

 **shulock homo** : ah.

 **naruto x sasuke** : ah.

 **MOM** : Ah.

 **space jam** : ah.

 **i’m lesbian** : AH!!

 **i thought you were japanese** : ah…

 **elder price** : ah!!!!

 **stabby mcgee** : Ah.

 **despicableXD** : Ah.

 **do robots have dicks?** : Ah..?

 **guac boy** : ah.

 **yknow like nya** : I despise how Maki came on just because of that.

 **stabby mcgee** : What can I say I gotta join this.

 **yknow like nya** : I thought we had a friendship going on, Maki. Some kind of solidarity.

 **stabby mcgee** : That just how it be sometimes.

 **stabby mcgee** : Also, I love how literally everyone knows about Ryoma’s whole deal.

 **naruto x sasuke** : you’re really obvious… haha

 **yknow like nya** : H

 **yknow like nya** : You’re pretty obvious, too, Maki.

 **stabby mcgee** : Do you want to die?

 **yknow like nya** : Yeah.

 **stabby mcgee** : Uh. I was joking--

 **space jam** : we cant have u dying bro!!!! we love you!!!!

 **big dick is back in town** : Sorry!! Gonta just get here, but please do not die, Ryoma!!! Gonta and everyone else love you!!!

**yknow like nya** : AAAaaaaa

 **ultimate penis** : AWWW

\-- **ryoma is a disaster** \--

**disaster** : Oh? Oh my god?

 **PIANIST** : ryoma jus MAKE your MOVE

 **disaster** : I...cannot…

 **disaster** : I’m too weaK

 **disaster** : Oh and I forgot to add Maki to this…

 **disaster** added **Maki Harukawa** to the chat.

 **disaster** changed **Maki Harukawa’s** name to **solidarity**.

 **solidarity** : Oh, is this where Ryoma is gay(er)? Cool.

 **solidarity** : Anyways, just… confess.

 **disaster** : Says you.

 **solidarity** : ...Fair point.

\-- **ALL THE RATS** \--

**big dick is back in town** : Also, Gonta not wanna bother anyone, but Gonta is kinda sad…

 **yknow like nya** : Do I have to kill anyone

 **MOM** : What happened?

 **guac boy** : aw what the hell whys the sweetest person gotta be sad

 **yknow like nya** : Rt

 **big dick is back in town** : Gonta… accidentally kill bug. 8(

 **big dick is back in town** : Gonta feel really bad about it…

 **MOM** : I’m sorry that happened, Gonta. I’m sure it wasn’t your fault.

**shulock homo** : ryomanfdjhfds

 **stabby mcgee** : If you do this I’ll do my thing.

 **yknow like nya** : Um. I don’t… usually do this, but Gonta, do you want me to come over to your room? We can talk about like… bugs or whatever.

 **blonde little bitch** : OH GOD OH FUCK HE DID IT OH MY G

 **space jam** : oh? oh fuck?

 **big dick is back in town** : Oh!! Of course!! Gonta love seeing Ryoma!!! 8)

**do robots have dicks?** : Aww… This is cute.

 **yknow like nya** : Aight I’ll be there in a bit

\-- **ryoma is a disaster** \--

 **PIANIST** : OH MY GOD??? OH MY G

 **token spider goth** : I admit this is fairly exciting

 **DETECTIVE** : aaaaaaaa

 **DETECTIVE** : ryoma u heckin DID IT

 **disaster** : jjHFUEWHFIWHEDJKSHFJKSDHFJKhKJHkfhdkjshKJHKJFDHK

 **disaster** : he wsaid….he loves seeing me wuighejkdshkjsgdhgds

 **solidarity** : Even dropped the usual typing style, huh?

 **disaster** : Shtu the FUCK up fwehwuefskjdhs you said youd do somethin wuith Kaito if I did my thing so

 **solidarity** : Fuck me running. But anyways, go to Gonta’s room. He’s waiting.

 **disaster** : Ajh. Youre right.

**_disaster is offline._ **

**PIANIST** : he really does live up to his name. absolute disaster

\---

Okay, so maybe Ryoma was nervous.

What happened?? This was completely out of character for him. Even if this _was_ a chat fic. He was just going to Gonta’s room!! Why should that be anything to worry about?

Maybe it was because _Gonta_ made him nervous. But in a good way? Whenever the entomologist laughed, or even just smiled, Ryoma felt the need to join along. The boy always made everyone so happy. And the way that he was always so selfless and wanted to protect everyone? Ryoma thought that was unbelievably admirable.

Anyways, he’s been standing at Gonta’s door this entire time. Best to not keep him waiting. He took a deep breath.

Ryoma rang the doorbell and called out, “Hey, it’s Ryoma.”

After a little bit, Gonta was at the door.

“Hello Ryoma!! Gonta is very glad to see you!! Um… come in!!”

The two sat down on Gonta’s bed. Ryoma had no idea what he was supposed to do. He didn’t plan this out at all.

He looked up at the bigger boy and saw that he had red eyes. Well, duh, he was Gonta. Of course he had red eyes! But the red eyes that we’re talking about here are the ones someone has after they cry.

“Gonta, have you been crying?” Ryoma asked. Was that too straightforward? He didn’t know.

“Ah, yeah…Gonta just feel…really bad about killing bug. It was accident, of course,” he scratched the back of his neck, “But bug deserved to live longer! Bug had family. Gonta idiot...should have paid attention...” he drifted off.

Ryoma paused, wondering exactly what to do.

“Well, it’s not like you meant to do it, right?” Ryoma replied, pulling down his hat, “It’s… not your fault. If you feel that bad about it, we can, I dunno, hold a small funeral for it or something.”

Oh god. Was that a stupid idea? It probably was. Oh god save Ryoma’s soul--

Gonta’s eyes lit up, “Ah!! Gonta think that great idea!! Thank you Ryoma!!” He grinned, and the brightness radiating off of that boy nearly blinded poor Ryoma.

“It’s no problem, big guy.”

And Ryoma smiled back, just a little bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :') i hope that was okay...? it's like, 1 am so sorry if theres any mistakes or if my writing's kinda awkward. and uh! goshi isn't getting together juuuust yet i just wanted to write ryoma, as indicated by his name, being a disaster.
> 
> OH AND if ur reading this and u care. should i do saimatsu or kaemiu?? saiibo?? kaerumi??? idk what ships to do for kae and shu and its rlly messin me up. oh and oumami or nah
> 
> hope this chapter was ok!


	4. oh shit! a rat!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **cabbage** : if i told him itd ruin our friendship cuz ik he likes shu so?? hhjfhjd
> 
> **piano baka** : ok hang on taro gotta do smth
> 
> \-- **BEAUTIFUL GIRL** to **token lesbian!!!** \--
> 
> **BEAUTIFUL GIRL** : tenko pls help rantaro and kokichi are so fucking dumb

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaa sorry if this chapter is kinda *tsumugi voice* plain! i've had the tiiiiniest bit of writers block, but i still wanted to update this! hope its ok!
> 
> oh and! "ryoma is a disaster" is a group chat ryoma made w the most Trustworthy ppl (kirumi, kaede, shuichi, rantaro, maki) so he could be... ykno a disaster. here's the usernames!  
> ryoma: disaster  
> rantaro: cabbage cryptid  
> kirumi: token spider goth  
> shuichi: DETECTIVE  
> kaede: PIANIST
> 
> oh and! everyone’s got different names in dms cause they give each other nicknames?? yknow like how you’d give ur friends terrible nicknames on snapchat/in ya contacts?? ye thats this whole deal @ the beginning! ok enjoy the chap

2:04 AM

\-- **rat boy** to **kayayday** \--

**rat boy** : UHGHGHHGH KAYAYDAY HELPPP

**kayayday** : really?? still that nickname??

**kayayday** : but hey it’s 2am what’s up

**rat boy** : im just a DISASTER kayayday

**kayayday** : oh is this about taro n shu??

**rat boy** : whAT ELSE WOULD IT BE ABOUYT

**rat boy** : but yes its about taro n shu the two (2) crushes i have that will Never like me back

**kayayday** : hey that’s not true!! you might be kinda annoying but That’s Not True, Pal

**rat boy** : oh?? how do you know??? shu prolly likes you, and taro?? idk. prolly likes kork or something.

**kayayday** : well you n taro are like, best friends, right??? that means theres always the chance of him liking you!!!

**kayayday** : i’m not sure how much you talk to shu but i can say the same thing there!!

**kayayday** : just,,, don’t give up, okay?? tho we all act like we hate u we rlly love u ko

**rat boy** : ...thanks kaede.

**rat boy** : surprisingly enough ur dumb hope speech made me feel better

**kayayday** : it’s no problem!!! now go to sleep it’s late

7:06 AM

\-- **cabbage** to **piano baka** \--

**cabbage** : hhhh k help im dying

**piano baka** : ok don’t die pls??

**piano baka** : what’s up

**cabbage** : fucking KICHi

**piano baka** : ah yes. kokichi. local rat

**cabbage** : yknow usually id be super cool w crushes but?? hes my _best friend_ so like fuck me running ig

**piano baka** : buuut he’s your best friend, so he must think you’re a pretty cool dude!!! right??

**cabbage** : ughghhg...maybe but idk

**cabbage** : if i told him itd ruin our friendship cuz ik he likes shu so?? hhjfhjd

**piano baka** : ok hang on taro gotta do smth

\-- **BEAUTIFUL GIRL** to **token lesbian!!!** \--

**BEAUTIFUL GIRL** : tenko pls help rantaro and kokichi are so fucking dumb

7:30 AM

\-- **ALL THE RATS** \--

**MOM** : Good morning everyone. I hope you all have a wonderful day.

**despicableXD** : And although this is a futile effort, please try and remember to finish that essay due on Monday.

**shulock homo** : thanks guys,, ;w; 

**big dick is back in town** : Thank you!!!!

**i’m lesbian** : TENKO THANKS YOU!!!! (not korekiyo tho!!!! he’s the worst degenerate here >:c)

**despicableXD** : Ah. Thank you. That is an honor.

**i thought you were japanese** : nyehh,,.,. she’s right tho,.,..kork,, yr kinda creepy,,.,.

**guac boy** : he was standing in the hall near the bathrooms one night and hiro thought he was a ghost so he punched him

**guac boy** : kaito was there too he just squealed and ran away as fast as he could

**space jam** : FUCKINHGEGDSJ H E Y

**space jam** : UOU SAID YOU WOUDLNT TELL ANYONE ABOUT THAT

**guac boy** : ahaha

**guac boy** : oooops. guess i forgot

**guac boy** : sorry bout that bud

**panta rat** : soooo you dont deny it :3

**space jam** : SHUT THE FUCK UO[PHGJSDHJjkH

**stabby mcgee** : Jeez. You’re a disaster.

**panta rat** : COUGHCOUGHCOGUHGCGOGUGH

**stabby mcgee** : Perish.

**yknow like nya** : Hahahasjfsjkf

**stabby mcgee** : Says you.

**yknow like nya** : Fair point, but still.

**space jam** : hey maki roll what r you guys talkin about i feel left ouT

**stabby mcgee** : Don’t call me that, and it’s not your problem.

**panta rat** : iT’s NoT yOuR PrObLeM

**panta rat** : mmm suuuure maki roll suuuure

**stabby mcgee** : I’m going to rip your eyes out.

**panta rat** : i can’t wait!!! :D

**panta rat** : and hey, you didn’t seem as bothered when kAITO called you maki roll soooooo

**space jam** : i’m so confusedjsdhfksf??? what the hell

**space jam** : WIA T

**space jam** : do you L I K E the nickname maki roll?????? :D

**stabby mcgee** : NO shut up

**naruto x sasuke** : you...typed that a little quick, maki,,

**naruto x sasuke** : even dropped your plain correct punctuation!!!

**panta rat** : ooOOOOO

**stabby mcgee** : I’m going to kill you both.

**space jam** : SOOOO you DO like it!!!!!!! >:D HELLYEAH

**stabby mcgee** : Why are you so proud of it?? It’s not even a good nickname.

**elder price** : angie sees you didn’t deny liking it! :3

**space jam** : HEY that’s offensive!!!!!! it’s the best thing ive ever come up with!!!!

**space jam** : RIGHT bro??? _@shulock homo_

**shulock homo** : hm??

**shulock homo** : ah um.

**shulock homo** : yeah. great nickname, kaito!

**panta rat** : jeeeeez you’re terrible at lying, shumai!!!

**shulock homo** : im not lying!!!

**panta rat** : suuure surreeeee

**do robots have dicks** : Ah!! hel,l,ooko evevverryoienefdjsdsjhsfdfds

**_do robots have dicks? is offline._ **

**blonde little bitch** : GOD FUCK SHIT GOGDSHJSDDGHJ

**big dick is back in town** : Ah, is Kiibo okay? D8

**elder price** : ummm..what did you do this time miu? angie feels like it isn’t good!!!! :o

**blonde little bitch** : HAHHAHAAH EVERYTHING IS FINE FSJDHEJHE

**elder price** : m mmm… angie doesn’t think so, miu!!!

**blonde little bitch** : ok MAYBE the great miu iruma made a mistake,,,

**guac boy** : well seeing how kiibs was,,, yeah thats no surprise

**panta rat** : go FIX HIM and stop wasting your time, pig!!!!!

**blonde little bitch** : HHHEEEEE HEFIHWEUIE OK AY Y,;.

**_blonde little bitch is offline._ **

**ultimate penis** : you really don’t have to be so harsh with her, yknow?

**big dick is back in town** : Yeah! Even though Miu can be...wild, it doesn’t mean Kokichi has to be mean! It’s ungentlemanly!

**panta rat** : jeeeeeez you guys are BORING!!!

**panta rat** : plus, if i hadn’t said that, she wouldn’t have went back to fixing kiiboy like she should be!!!!

**shulock homo** : ah,, i guess,,

**panta rat** : SEEEE?? even shumai agrees with me!!!!!!

**shulock homo** : please don’t rope me into this

**panta rat** : even _you’re_ no fuN!!!!!!

**panta rat** : HEY TARO _@guac boy_ wanna plan out some PRANKZ with me!!!?!??!?

**ultimate penis** : cough

**panta rat** : shut up kayayday

**guac boy** : oh hell yea dude lets go

**panta rat** : WEEEE meet me in my room!!!!!

**guac boy** : aight!

**_guac boy is offline._**

**_panta rat is offline._ **

**i’m lesbian** : HMPH!!! degenerates!!!

**i thought you were japanese** : they’re prolly planning something bad,,.

**MOM** : I...would not be surprised.

**i’m lesbian** : you can stop them with your amazing magic skills right himiko???!?!?! :D

**i thought you were japanese** : ah,.,.yeah.,.,i’ll cast a super strong spell that’ll stop them,,...

**i’m lesbian** : EEEEE TENKO THINKS YOURE SO COOL!!!!!

**i thought you were japanese** : ahjhdsfj.,.,..thank you,.,,.,

**shulock homo** : everyone here is...really obvious

**big dick is back in town** : Huh? What Shuichi mean?

**shulock homo** : ah,, it’s nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope that was alright! i know im shooting for oumami now (obviously) and i'm startin to lean towards saimatsu for kaede?? altho im still conflicted with her...she's just so good.
> 
> anyways! seeya guys next chapter (which will hopefully be less boring)


	5. ryoma perishes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **panta rat** : goodniiight!~ hope satan’s children don’t eat your toesss!!!!
> 
> **shulock homo** : thanks, what the fuck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyooo!! hope ryoma's not tOOO outta character in this one i just,, love goshi uhm
> 
> anyways!! if any of yall wanna talk to me about somethin outside of ao3 then my instagram's shmorby and my tumblr's cloudydoodle!! just wanted to say :3
> 
> enjoy!!

2:52 AM

\-- **ALL THE RATS** \--

**yknow like nya** : Hey guys Im dying

**shulock homo** : oh, why?? are you ok??

**yknow like nya** : I am jsut...disast,er,..

**shulock homo** : _are you ok_

**ultimate penis** : someone put this man to sleep he is dying

**shulock homo** : pleas,.e…

**shulock homo** : you pulled an all nighter last night ryoma please take care of urself,,

**yknow like nya** : I just...love He.???

**shulock homo** : .

\-- **shu!!** to **kaede <3**\--

**shu!!** : should we tell him,,,

**kaede <3**: he’ll...figure it out,,

**shu!!** : fhdsjdf he’s gonna kill us

**kaede <3**: you’re right, but it’s worth it really

**kaede <3**: we both know that disaster won’t do anything otherwise,, haha

\-- **ALL THE RATS** \--

**shulock homo** : ok,, go ham, i guess

**ultimate penis** : ahahaha

**yknow like nya** : Hye don’t judge me

**yknow like nya** : He’s just...so sweet all thje time.

**ultimate penis** : i believe in u ryoma u can get ur normal typing style back

**guac boy** : what is this, homestuck?

**shulock homo** : im cryign why do you always have the homestuck references rantaro this is tedrrifyign,gds.

**guac boy** : :)

**guac boy** changed his name to **GU4C 80Y**.

**ultimate penis** : taro i love you a lot

**ultimate penis** : but i’m gonna die

**shulock homo** : um anyways ryoma carry on

**yknow like nya** : Hhhgfhg...he’s just always so sweet...he shouldn’t ve interacting with a murderer like me but he does.

**yknow like nya** : He alwyas tries to talk to me...and it’s always so sweet…

**yknow like nya** : Adn the spark in hsi eye when he talks about bugs...I’m hfsjhddfsfdnh

**yknow like nya** : I didn’t thikn I’d fgall in love agian bt here we are

**GU4C 80Y** : surprised pikachu face

**panta rat** : NEEHEEHEE

**panta rat** : well isn’t THIS outta character for ryoma??

**GU4C 80Y** : ikr even tho this is a chat fic op went ham

**panta rat** : riiiight??~

**yknow like nya** : Huh

**yknow like nya** : What are you doing h

**yknow like nya** : .

**yknow like nya** : Oi. Kaede. Shuichi.

**ultimate penis** : we have made a grave mistake shu,,,

**ultimate penis** : we’re sorry (sad cowboy emoji)

**shulock homo** : uh. we. didmt notice either ryoma

**panta rat** : AHAHAHAHA you’re TERRIBLE at lying shumai!!

**GU4C 80Y** : see yall in another life lol

**yknow like nya** : I swear one day I’m gonna kill you guys.

**ultimate penis** : cool! now please go to sleep because it’s 3am and you need it!!!

**yknow like nya** : Uhg fine

**_yknow like nya is offline._ **

**ultimate penis** : you guys should go to sleep too!!!

**shulock homo** : ah...you’re right,,

**GU4C 80Y** : i doubt ill be able too but gnight fellas

**shulock homo** : goodnight..!

**panta rat** : goodniiight!~ hope satan’s children don’t eat your toesss!!!!

**shulock homo** : thanks, what the fuck

**ultimate penis** : and i’m sorry if we’ve woken anyone up!! we didn’t mean to be a nuisance haha,,

**ultimate penis** : goodnight!

\--

6:25 AM

**despicableXD** : Ah, I see what happened last night. How interesting.

**elder price** : angie saw it too!! ! angie wonders what ryoma will do about it!!! :3

**naruto x sasuke** : a blooming love..!!! ahh, this is just like tododeku...oh this is just wonderful!!

**space jam** : JEEEZ why are you guys awake so early?? tsumugi w h a t are you talking about????

**naruto x sasuke** : ahaha, sorry..! my interests...slipped in, i suppose. i got too excited;;

**despicableXD** : Oh, I apologize, Kaito, if we woke you up.

**despicableXD** : As you know, I get up early to prepare myself, and I had some spare time to check this group chat, and saw...what happened just a few hours ago.

**space jam** : its fine kork and ehhh?? something happened???

**naruto x sasuke** : scroll up kaito!

**space jam** : kk

**space jam** : HFEUIRFKSDH OH MY GODJFEWFIWED

**space jam** : ryoma went H A M ahajahahaha

**GU4C 80Y** : ahahha

**GU4C 80Y** : were gonna die once he gets online,,

**GU4C 80Y** : anyways im going back to sleep goodnight

**elder price** : even though it is 6am, angie wishes you a good sleep!!!

**GU4C 80Y** : thanks ang

**_GU4C 80Y is offline._ **

**MOM** : Ah, I suppose I am a little late, but good morning everyone!

**MOM** : And goodnight to Rantaro, I suppose. Even though he’s already offline.

**naruto x sasuke** : ah!! good morning kirumi!!

**i thought you were japanese** : good morning…

**i’m lesbian** : GOOD MORNING KIRUMI!!!

**i’m lesbian** : and good morning to himiko as well C:

**i thought you were japanese** : ...good morning tenko

**i’m lesbian** : you got enough sleep right???!>!?

**i thought you were japanese** : nyeh,,.m kinda tired but yea i did get enough sleep…

**i’m lesbian** : :D that’s good!!!! tenko is glad!!!!

**i thought you were japanese** : ,,,

**i thought you were japanese** : thanks tenko,,,nyeh,,

**i’m lesbian** : EEEEE!!! IT’S NO PROBLEM HIMIKO!!!!!!

**naruto x sasuke** : aaahhh,,, so many blooming romances in this class...this would make _perfect_ fanfiction material..!

**do robots have dicks** : What is...fanfiction?

**naruto x sasuke** : oh kiibo!!! i’ll tell you all about it in dm’s!! 

**panta rat** : awwwww don’t do that to poor kiiboy!!!!

**panta rat** : you’re prolly gonna mention all KINDSA weird fetishes

**naruto x sasuke** : HEY!!! i do NOT read that kind of fanfic!! only sweet, fluffy fanfiction is the best...and hifumi’s work is amazing, too!

**elder price** : oh, hifumi? :o is he the one who commissioned angie to make a nude gru statue..?

**panta rat** : P

**panta rat** : PARDON

**despicableXD** : He did what.

**i thought you were japanese** : nude...gru?? you mean that minion guy,,??

**i thought you were japanese** : kork must hate this,,

**despicableXD** : I am trying oh so hard not to burst into a fit of anger right now.

**despicableXD** : I admit, Gru is not as bad as those...things, but he is still affiliated with them, so I despise him.

**space jam** : hey kork is this you https://youtu.be/YersIyzsOpc?t=13

**panta rat** : AWWW KAITO I WAS JUST ABOUT TO SEND THAT!!!

**space jam** : HAHAHAJFDSHJF

**space jam** : well of course i could one up yOU!!! i’m kaito momota, luminary of the stars!!!!

**panta rat** : >:C well even if you sent that earlier ur still an IDIOT

**space jam** : dont call me thAAATT

**panta rat** : idiot dummy 

**space jam** : >:OOO

**space jam** : this HURTS my FEELINGS

**panta rat** : good

**stabby mcgee** : Do you want to die?

**panta rat** : AWwwww maki roll protecting her booooyyfriiiend???

**space jam** : boyfriend?? who??

**stabby mcgee** : Ugh

**space jam** : WAIT WHOS THIS BOYFRIEND/?? HUh/?

**i’m lesbian** : ...wow. tenko hates to agree with the worst boy kokichi but kaito,,, _is_ dumb. 

**i thought you were japanese** : mm yea,,

**space jam** : YOU GUYS ARE SO MEANFSJDHGSJKDG

\--

9:32 AM

**_GU4C 80Y is online._ **

**GU4C 80Y** : hey yall im back

**panta rat** : wellllcome backkkk taro!!!!!

**GU4C 80Y** : thanks kichiii

**GU4C 80Y** : also i love how everyone just sorta,,, pushed aside the fact that hifumi commissioned ang to make a nude gru statue

**panta rat** : weellll i think most of us wouldn’t wanna think about gru’s dick!! oh and

**panta rat** : hey hey!! ! ! are we gonna go through with that one idea??

**GU4C 80Y** : oh the fair thing

**panta rat** : YEA!! hiro told me you could win minecraft stuff

**GU4C 80Y** : oh my god we have to go

**big dick is back in town** : Oh? What are Rantaro and Kokichi talking about?

**GU4C 80Y** : oh theres this fair thing goin on

**panta rat** : AAAND there’s a ferris wheel and everything!! so that means..ro m a n c e hehehe

**big dick is back in town** : Oh? Romance??

**big dick is back in town** : Whachu mean??

**GU4C 80Y** : ,,,,

**GU4C 80Y** : _@yknow like nya_

**_yknow like nya is online._ **

**yknow like nya** : What’s up?

**yknow like nya** : Ah.

**yknow like nya** : Regret.

**do robots have dicks?** : Oh, are you talking about what you sent last night, Ryoma?

**big dick is back in town** : Huh? What Ryoma send last night?

**yknow like nya** : Kiibo, you’re killin’ me buddy.

**do robots have dicks?** : Ah!! I’m sorry, did I do anything wrong?? I apologize if so!!!

**panta rat** : you do EVERYTHING wrong kiiboy!!! you’re a robot after all!!

**do robots have dicks?** : Why are you such a robophobe!!! D:

**yknow like nya** : Kiibo, you’re fine.

**do robots have dicks?** : Finally, a non robophobe...thank you Ryoma.

**panta rat** : no one’s answered poor gonta’s question!!! :Oc

**panta rat** : cmoooon ryomaaaaa answer him!!!!!!

**yknow like nya** : Jeez, you’re annoying.

**panta rat** : awwwww i’m just tryna helppp!!!

**yknow like nya** : It’s nothing for you to worry about, Gonta.

**panta rat** : scroll up gonta!!! where it’s about 3am!!!!!! :3 our boy ryoma here said some stuff

**big dick is back in town** : Um, okay? Gonta not really understand but,, he check.

**yknow like nya** : I am withering up inside. Thanks Kokichi, I’ve always wanted to die.

**panta rat** : nooo problem ryoma!!

**panta rat** : aannnyyways while thats happening

**panta rat** : _@everyone_ HEY HEY!!!! we’re gonna be goin to the fair tomorrow because it’s what we deserve!!!!!

**GU4C 80Y** : and we wanna help out some of the ,,, pining idiots. cough.

**ultimate penis** : squints

**GU4C 80Y** : shut up

**shulock homo** : well this’ll definitely be,,, interesting to say the least

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact my inspo for the fair thing was cuz i went to one a while ago and got so many fic ideas so Here We Are
> 
> next few chapters with the whole fair thing will prolly have Actual Writing so hoo boy!! if anyone wants to like,, help with that (beta reading?? is that what its called) then uhh go ham sfhdjsdfdsf
> 
> UM anyways seeya guys next update!!!


	6. cbt time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **do robots have dicks?** : im gonna have SO much against you in court just you wait kokichi ouma

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO for dm’s now i’m just gonna put like...their actual names cuz it’ll be easier for all of us, i think. cuz im not gonna be able to come up and remember like 9432489324 different nicknames.  
> ANYWAYS hope y'all enjoy this chapter!!! not any actual writing yet but...soon. i s w e ar.

10:43 AM  
\-- **ALL THE RATS** \--

 **elder price** : ohhh?? we’re going to the fair?? angie’s god says this will be very fun!!!!

 **naruto x sasuke** : oh!! i’m plain excited now!!! :3

 **i’m lesbian** : TENKO IS EXCITED AS WELL!!!!!!

 **i’m lesbian** : tenko will dropkick any degenerates who get in himiko’s way!!!

 **i thought you were japanese** : nyeh,,,i appreciate it but i’ll be fine, tenko,,,

 **i’m lesbian** : mmmm...okay!!!! for now!!!!! tenkos offer still stands though!!!

 **shulock homo** : ah,, we’d split up into groups, right?? what’re those gonna be..?

 **panta rat** : i’m glad you asked, shuuuu!!!!

 **shulock homo** : um,,, thanks? i guess?

 **panta rat** : wellll you guys are free to group up however you’d like!!

 **panta rat** : BUT we’re keeping kaito and maki together

 **panta rat** : AND gonta and ryoma

 **panta rat** : and shu and kaede

 **naruto x sasuke** : wow, you’re really trying to get everyone together..!

 **GU4C 80Y** : ill prolly stick w u kichi

 **panta rat** : hell yeah

 **ultimate penis** : squints harder

 **space jam** : AW SWEET

 **space jam** : i get to spend time with makiroll??? heck yeah!!!

 **stabby mcgee** : Kokichi, given the chance, I will kill you.

 **panta rat** : thank youuu!!!~ :3c

 **big dick is back in town** : Oh! Gonta just read what Ryoma said and Gonta hope that everything go well with this person!!

 **big dick is back in town** : They like bugs so!! They must be good person C8

 **yknow like nya** : Ah

 **yknow like nya** : Thanks, Gonta.

\-- **ryoma is a disaster** \--

 **PIANIST** : AHAHAHAH

 **cabbage cryptid** : i...omg

 **token spider goth** : I… have to laugh a bit.

 **disaster** : Ahhsdjfdjdhj

 **solidarity** : Hahaha

\-- **ALL THE RATS** \--

 **despicableXD** : Why, may I ask, can I hear Kokichi’s devilish laugh from here?

 **blonde little bitch** : YEAH WTF I JUST WALKDE INTO THE DORMS AND I JUST

 **blonde little bitch** : I JUST HEAR RAT BOY CACKLNGLDJSFLJDF

 **GU4C 80Y** : “SHUT UP YOU LITTLE BITCH!!!!” -miu

 **GU4C 80Y** : “PERISH, PIG” -kichi

 **MOM** : Are there...shenanigans going on this early in the day already?

 **elder price** : yes yes!! angie says there will be even MORE shenanigans!!~ although that is to be expected !! c:

 **elder price** : it iisss our group after all!!

 **MOM** : I...suppose you are right, Angie.

 **do robots have dicks?** : I have to agree!! Our,, gang (? is that what youd call it) loves to mess around.

 **do robots have dicks?** : Though it’s really entertaining to watch!! 

**panta rat** : shut up roboy

 **do robots have dicks?** : im gonna have SO much against you in court just you wait kokichi ouma

 **panta rat** : OHHH??!?!??!?!? USELESS ROBOT FIGHTS BACK/?!>!?!?!?

 **GU4C 80Y** : oh my god kiibs i love you

 **do robots have dicks?** : Finally, a non robophobe...I love you too, Rantaro.

 **do robots have dicks?** : I do believe I’ve learned the human emotion of...love when I’ve been with you guys...platonic love, at least.

 **do robots have dicks?** : So, thank you guys!! Even if some of you are mean to me…

 **do robots have dicks?** : I still love all the time I’ve spent with you guys.

 **ultimate penis** : kiibo you’re gonna make me cry

 **blonde little bitch** : WAAAAHHH I LOVE YOU SO MCUHC KIIBO SGUWEIGUIWEHGDUSNIFJ

 **elder price** : angie and atua love you!!!! <3 :3c

 **i’m lesbian** : you’re admittedly one of the better boys!!! good job!!!!!!!

 **naruto x sasuke** : luv u too kii!! 

**shulock homo** : hey what’d we do to deserve you and gonta

 **ultimate penis** : the two sweetest boys...

 **do robots have dicks** : :)

 **do robots have dicks** : You guys are gRHEUIWRHIUSDIFUE16j636-4l3t03

 **space jam** : HOLY SHIT KIIBO R YOU OKAY EWGIUWE

 **despicableXD** : I have just seen Miu attacking Kiibo with a hug. With tears in her eyes.

 **despicableXD** : She had a running start, too. It was, admittedly quite impressive.

 **blonde little bitch** : THANKS I APPRECITA E THE COMPLIMETN

 **do robots have dicks?** : II apperciate the ee huug Miu!!!! !! !

 **ultimate penis** : this is...surprisingly pure

 **ultimate penis** : esp for miu aha

 **shulock homo** : yeah.,,, more wholesome than id expect??

 **shulock homo** : especially after walking into,,, “maintenance”

 **blonde little bitch** : YOU HAD NO CONTENXT FUCK YOU SUHGIUWEHUIWGE

 **shulock homo** : ,,,,,ok a y mi u

 **shulock homo** : also!!! _@panta rat @GU4C 80Y_ wwhos driving us

 **GU4C 80Y** : ok eridan

 **ultimate penis** : _please taro you’re going to k i l l m e_

 **GU4C 80Y** : hee hee

 **MOM** : I...do not really understand the reference here, but I’m fairly sure Korekiyo and I can drive, right?

 **despicableXD** : Yes, you are correct, Kirumi.

 **i’m lesbian** : tenko WILL NOT sit in a car with a boy as creepy as korekiyo!!!!

 **i’m lesbian** : can tenko please go with kirumi??

 **i thought you were japanese** : mm,, me too

 **i’m lesbian** : !!!!!! HIMIKOOO !!!

 **panta rat** : HMmmMMm how about thiiisss??

 **panta rat** : kirumi gang: tenko, himiko, gonta, ryoma, me, rantaro, n tsumugi

 **panta rat** : kork gang: maki, kaito, angie, kiibo, miu, shuichi, kaede

 **naruto x sasuke** : h,,, how did you come up with that so quickly??

 **panta rat** : easy!! shove the pining idiots and a few other ppl together and bam

 **panta rat** : got a list

 **big dick is back in town** : Pining idiots??

 **MOM** : ,,,Don’t worry about it, sweet summer child.

 **naruto x sasuke** : ohhhh i see now!!! good idea!!

 **elder price** : awww, angie isn’t in the same car as tenko or himiko!!!

 **elder price** : oh well!! whatever fate has in store for angie!! she will accept!! :3

 **GU4C 80Y** : _@MOM @despicableXD_ yall got enough room for that??

 **MOM** : I believe so.

 **despicableXD** : Mhm.

 **panta rat** : SWEET!! ! 

**despicableXD** : I am interested to see how these groups play out…

 **stabby mcgee** : Please, keep your eyes on the road. I say this because frankly I don’t trust you with a car.

 **blonde little bitch** : YEAH WTF WHO LET RESIDENT CREPE DRIVE

 **big dick is back in town** : Resident crepe…?

 **big dick is back in town** : What that mean?? Korekiyo isn’t a crepe!!

 **stabby mcgee** : Resident crepe

 **ultimate penis** : i’m sorry miu, but resident crepe

 **elder price** : resident crepe!!

 **blonde little bitch** : SHUT THE FUCK UEPWFJDSKFSDK

 **do robots have dicks** : ...resident crepe

 **blonde little bitch** : K

 **blonde little bitch** : KIIBO???!?!?!? EVEN YOU?!?!??!?

 **blonde little bitch** : I GAVE YOU A HGU LIKE 3 SECONDS AGO HOW COULD YOU BETRAY ME LIKE THSI IM GONNA CRY

 **do robots have dicks?** : I apologize, Miu. It had to be done.

 **yknow like nya** : What the hell did I just walk into

 **space jam** : resident crepe!!!!

 **yknow like nya** : Ah. I understand now. Thanks, Kaito.

 **yknow like nya** : Resident crepe.

 **blonde little bitch** : I M CRYING SDYOU GUYS ARE SUCH BULLIES IMSDFIUEWHWEFIEF

 **big dick is back in town** : Um...Gonta can hear Miu crying from here..? 

**GU4C 80Y** : “fOR THE LOVE OF GOD SHUT U P” -kichi

 **big dick is back in town** : Miu is crying louder now,,?? Should Gonta go check on her??

 **yknow like nya** : Ah, she’ll be fine in about 30 seconds.

 **big dick is back in town** : Oh, okay!!

 **GU4C 80Y** : woa cat wtf

 **GU4C 80Y** : u got that exactly right

 **naruto x sasuke** : oh!!?!?!? are you like, saiki k or something??

 **space jam** : OH SAIKI!?!?!? i love that show

 **space jam** : dude we should keep watching s2

 **space jam** : wait

 **panta rat** : HAHUEIWUIHSAF

 **panta rat** : KAI TO...DID YOU JSUT OUT URSELF AS A WEEB

 **naruto x sasuke** : aww it’s nothing to be ashamed of!!! we’ll catch up soon kaito!!!

 **space jam** : im gonna die tsumugi im gonna fuckign di

 **space jam** : i have cbt (tuberculosis)

 **ultimate penis** : HAHAHAHA

 **GU4C 80Y** : that is N O T the abbreviation of tuberculosis im gonna cry 

**panta rat** : …

 **GU4C 80Y** : kichi i swear if y9ou

 **panta rat** : cock and ball torture (cbt), penis torture or dick torture is a sexual activity involving application of pain or constriction to the penis or testicles. this may involve directly painful activities, such as g

 **GU4C 80Y** : kichi im divorcing you as a friend

 **panta rat** : WHAT NO DONT LEABE ME

 **panta rat** : I LOVE YOU!!!!!!

\-- **Kaede Akamatsu** to **Kokichi Ouma** \--  
**Kaede Akamatsu** : SQUINTS at your latest message

 **Kaede Akamatsu** : like squints REAL HARD

 **Kokichi Ouma** : FUCKING SJDHGKDSFHKSDF SHUT UP

\-- **Rantaro Amami** to **Kaede Akamatsu** \--

 **Rantaro Amami** : k...k im gonna d,,diee,,..

 **Rantaro Amami** : hhes gonna kill me

 **Kaede Akamatsu** : AHAHA

 **Kaede Akamatsu** : pleas e just tell him you like him !!!! he likes you i’m sure of it!!!!

\-- **ALL THE RATS** \--

 **GU4C 80Y** : ,,,

 **GU4C 80Y** : ok fine u can still be my friend

 **Kokichi Ouma** : YAY!!!!!!

 **yknow like nya** : Anyways, what the actual _fuck_ was that

 **stabby mcgee** : That. That was in your typing style.

 **stabby mcgee** : Do you have that memorized?? I fucking. hate this.

 **big dick is back in town** : Gonta not smart boy but Gonta KNOw that is ungentlemanly!!!!

 **GU4C 80Y** : gonta said no cbt rights

 **panta rat** : YOU GUYS ARE SO BORIIINGNGGN

 **blonde little bitch** : OP WHAT ARE THE DIRECTLY PAINFUL ACTIVITIES 

**blonde little bitch** : _OP_

 **panta rat** : HAHAHAAAA THATS WHAT IM TLALKING ABOUT!!!

 **do robots have dicks?** : Please, stop talking about cock and ball torture. It’s really killin me here.

 **i’m lesbian** : ITS WHAT THOSE AWFUL BOYS DESERVE!!!!! >:O

 **i’m lesbian** : unless theyre into it then THEY DONT DESERVE IT AT ALL

 **i thought you were japanese** : m gonna scream i come back 2 cbt,,,

 **elder price** : angie believes a pure soul such as himiko shouldnt know what cbt is!!! :o

 **i’m lesbian** : I!!! AGREE

 **i’m lesbian** : WAOH TENKO* AGREES

 **i’m lesbian** : LETS GET HIMIKOS SWEET PURE EYES AWAY FROM HERE!!!

 **i thought you were japanese** : nyehhh,,,

 **i thought you were japanese** : m gonna go take a nap..

 **i’m lesbian** : OK!!! ENJOY YOUR NAP HIMIKO!!!

 **elder price** : angie hopes you have a good nap!!!

 **i thought you were japanese** : mmm...thanks guys..,,,

 **i’m lesbian** : :DD

 **despicableXD** : Ah, did I miss the discussion of Cock and Ball Torture? What a shame.

 **space jam** : _**WHAT**_


	7. crushes and weird t-shirts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **blonde little bitch** : HEY SHUT UP
> 
> **blonde little bitch** : be mean to kiibo nd i’ll sick some tentacles on you
> 
> **panta rat** : HWFEUHUWEHFSDUIHADSF
> 
> **GU4C 80Y** : pPARDON

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if anything in this chapter feels rushed! i didn't wanna make it too long and also i wrote this at like 1am last night BUT i hope you like it!!!
> 
> also stan [this fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19770709/chapters/46801855) it's real fukcin good

8:04 AM 

\-- **Gonta Gokuhara** to **Rantaro Amami** \--

**Gonta Gokuhara** : Uhh, hi!! Is Rantaro awake??

**Gonta Gokuhara** : Gonta is sorry for the early text!!!

**Rantaro Amami** : o nah its fine bug

**Rantaro Amami** : it isnt that early dw

**Rantaro Amami** : whats up 

**Gonta Gokuhara** : Um!!! This is...kind of embarrassing but,,,

**Rantaro Amami** : hmm?

**Gonta Gokuhara** : Gonta thinkh he habe a crush on someone!!

**Gonta Gokuhara** : Sorry for typos!!! Gonta is nervous…

**Rantaro Amami** : OH!!!

**Rantaro Amami** : hang on gon ummm got smth to do

\-- **Rantaro Amami** to **Kaede Akamatsu** \--

**Rantaro Amami** : CATBUG CANON?>???.png

**Rantaro Amami** : K!!!! KAEDE!! ! ! AKA!!!!

**Rantaro Amami** : he. hasnt said who it is but !! ! !! !

**Kaede Akamatsu** : oh my god

**Kaede Akamatsu** : next up is u an kokichi i swear

**Kaede Akamatsu** : i will. do everythin in my nature to get u two idiots together

**Rantaro Amami** : perish

**Kaede Akamatsu** : uwu

\-- **Rantaro Amami** to **Gonta Gokuhara**

**Rantaro Amami** : kk sorry

**Rantaro Amami** : but!! r u cool w telling me who this crush is??

**Rantaro Amami** : its ok if not ur valid

**Gonta Gokuhara** : Um!!

**Gonta Gokuhara** : It’s,, Ryoma!!!

**Rantaro Amami** : OH!!! ! 

**Gonta Gokuhara** : Ahh is that bad???

**Rantaro Amami** : NO NO not at all!! ! 

**Rantaro Amami** : but !! whyd u ask me of all people aha;;

**Gonta Gokuhara** : Gonta think you and Kokichi are together, right?? So you must have some experience…!!

**Gonta Gokuhara** : Gonta,,,could be wrong though!! Sorry for bothering!!!

**Rantaro Amami** : bFUIREFNU

**Rantaro Amami** : ok ok sorry gotta reply 2 someone else

\-- **Rantaro Amami** to **Kaede Akamatsu** \--

**Rantaro Amami** : K

**Rantaro Amami** : KKAED E E

**Kaede Akamatsu** : nyes?? whats up

**Rantaro Amami** : OUH MY GOSD???.png

**Kaede Akamatsu** : HREFJSDDFSA

**Kaede Akamatsu** : ok first off catbug canon

**Kaede Akamatsu** : second off HAHAHA HO YM GOD??

**Rantaro Amami** : shut the hell ur mouth kae!!!!!

**Kaede Akamatsu** : alright alriiiight go back to gonta lol

**Rantaro Amami** : u even pulled out the lol...sobs..

**Kaede Akamatsu** : :3c

\-- **Rantaro Amami** to **Gonta Gokuhara** \--

**Rantaro Amami** : ok soz im back for realzies now

**Rantaro Amami** : but like why do u think me n kichi r together fdjfsh

**Gonta Gokuhara** : Oh!!! Is Gonta wrong?? Sorry!!!!

**Gonta Gokuhara** : Gonta just think,, you at least like him!! Cuz of how he said he loves you yesterday!!

**Gonta Gokuhara** : Gonta think,, that not just lie!! 

**Gonta Gokuhara** : But Gonta sorry!!

**Rantaro Amami** : o nah its cool!!

**Gonta Gokuhara** : Really??

**Rantaro Amami** : yea man dont sweat it

**Rantaro Amami** : soo uhhh

**Rantaro Amami** u wanted some advice frm me or somethin??

**Gonta Gokuhara** : Yes!! Gonta,,, not know what to do

**Rantaro Amami** : well i cant say much

**Rantaro Amami** : cuz ive only ever been in like 2 relationships but

**Rantaro Amami** : i say jst tell him! (mayb somewhere @ the fair?? or anytime else haha) im sure he likes u back

**Rantaro Amami** : i mean,,, the way he talks about u is a biiig tell

**Gonta Gokuhara** : The way he talks about Gonta??

**Rantaro Amami** : umm

**Rantaro Amami** : nevermind that aha;;;

**Rantaro Amami** : i think,, hed kill me if i told u

**Rantaro Amami** : or just kinda gently throw a tennis ball at me

**Rantaro Amami** : but nyways

**Rantaro Amami** : go for it!! m sure he likes u back

**Rantaro Amami** : cuz he thinks ur great

**Gonta Gokuhara** : Really?!?

**Rantaro Amami** : ya. he told me himself

**Rantaro Amami** : um. hope that helped a bit

**Gonta Gokuhara** : It did!! Thank you, Rantaro!!

**Rantaro Amami** : no prob bud

\-- **Rantaro Amami** to **Kaede Akamatsu** \--

**Rantaro Amami** : am. i rlly that obvious

**Kaede Akamatsu** : i think gonta can just!! be rlly perceptive sometimes n not realize it haha

**Kaede Akamatsu** : but PLEa s e tell him i swear he likes you

**Rantaro Amami** : hahahahahah sure

**Kaede Akamatsu** : >:T

**Kaede Akamatsu** : agkck,,, one day,,,

10:49 AM  
\-- **Kaede Akamatsu** to **Kokichi Ouma** \--

**Kaede Akamatsu** : heyyy kokichi

**Kaede Akamatsu** : so is it alright if u switch iruma and kiibo 2 kirumi’s car???

**Kaede Akamatsu** : and put u and taro in kork’s

**Kokichi Ouma** : why,

**Kaede Akamatsu** : just cuz!

**Kokichi Ouma** : .

**Kokichi Ouma** : this is just some plan to get me and rantaro together isnt it

**Kaede Akamatsu** : ,,

**Kaede Akamatsu** : alright alriiight i’m sorry!!!

**Kaede Akamatsu** : i just

**Kaede Akamatsu** : you guys are _so obvious_

**Kaede Akamatsu** : but i’ll try to stop snooping haha;;

**Kokichi Ouma** : alrighty lol

**Kokichi Ouma** : ur only allowed to push us together when you n shu get together lmaoaooa

**Kaede Akamatsu** : HEUW SFD SHUT UP

**Kokichi Ouma** : >:3c

12:24 PM  
\-- **ALL THE RATS** \--

**elder price** : ahhh angie’s excited!!~ :)

**naruto x sasuke** : so am i!!!

**big dick is back in town** : Gonta’s excited too!! :D

**do robots have dicks?** : I admit I’m fairly excited too!! I’ve never been to a fair,,

**panta rat** : wowww robots can feel excitement??~ i had no idea!!

**do robots have dicks?** : i

**blonde little bitch** : HEY SHUT UP

**blonde little bitch** : be mean to kiibo nd i’ll sick some tentacles on you

**panta rat** : HWFEUHUWEHFSDUIHADSF

**GU4C 80Y** : pPARDON

**i’m lesbian** : WOAH!!! TENKO DOES N O T WANNA SEE THAT!!!!

**i thought you were japanese** : ok ew

**ultimate penis** : HAHAHAHAHAHA WHAT 

**MOM** : Sorry, what?

**ultimate penis** : someone get kork in here haha

**shulock homo** : please do not

**shulock homo** : kiyo will,,,,,go ham, mayhaps

**despicableXD** : Did someone call me?

**i thought you were japanese** : lmao

**yknow like nya** : Oh boy.

**shulock homo** : i

**shulock homo** : i’ve cursed myself,f..f…

**yknow like nya** : lol

**ultimate penis** : oh??? ryoma said lol this is the biggest moment in history

**despicableXD** : Oh? Was Miu speaking about tentacles?

**blonde little bitch** : HELL YEAH I WAS

**MOM** : Will you two please...take this discussion to your private messages?

**despicableXD** : Oh, but of course.

**shulock homo** : kirumi really savin our lives here;;;

**ultimate penis** : aha cute

**shulock homo** : WHA JSIGJIUWE

**ultimate penis** : ahahhaha dw it’s nothing fhjhg

\-- **Kokichi Ouma** to **Kaede Akamatsu** \--

**Kokichi Ouma** : in the words of you

**Kokichi Ouma** : S Q U I NT S

**Kaede Akamatsu** : SJUT THE HELL YOUR MOUTH KOKICHI

\-- **ALL THE RATS** \--

**shulock homo** : ahh; ;; ; okay//?;;

**stabby mcgee** : Hahahah @ Shuichi

**shulock homo** : hdsfjewheuhwfj

**space jam** : OOOOOO

**space jam** : hehehehe

\-- **Shuichi Saihara** to **Kaito Momota** \--

**Shuichi Saihara** : waahhfeiwhdfjdks,,,, she,, cccalled me cute..,,

**Kaito Momota** : BRO!!! U HAVE TO TELL HER SHE DEF LIKES YOU NBACK

**Kaito Momota** : it!!! doesn’t have to be tonight but! ! !!!! s o on!!!!

**Shuichi Saihara** : ahhdfsdf,,, but .. what if she doesn’t like me?? she deserves,, a lot better than me haha

**Kaito Momota** : hey don’t say that bro!!! you’re my sidekick, you’re amazing!!!

**Kaito Momota** : and i know for a fACT that she likes you!!! i mean she hasnt talked to me about it but

**Kaito Momota** : it’s real obvious!!! like how she looks at you too!!!

**Shuichi Saihara** : ahh,,, thanks kaito,, :)

**Shuichi Saihara** : also

**Shuichi Saihara** : love how you say we’re,, obvious but not notice,..REDACTED (i say redacted bc she’d literally kill me)

**Kaito Momota** : ????? what

**Shuichi Saihara** : ah it’s,, nothing

**Kaito Momota** : whatever you say sidekick!!!!

**Shuichi Saihara** : :>

\-- **Shuichi Saihara** to **Maki Harukawa** \--

**Shuichi Saihara** : maki as smart as he is

**Shuichi Saihara** : kaito is so got damn dumb sometimes oh my god

**Shuichi Saihara** : ohmygod.png

**Maki Harukawa** : Dehfuiwsdjkfsd

**Maki Harukawa** : Now you know how I feel

**Maki Harukawa** : How I have to live sometimes

**Shuichi Saihara** : f in the chat hgseigwudsj

\-- **ALL THE RATS** \--

**stabby mcgee** : Why are you laughing like Kokichi it’s terrifying

**space jam** : HEY DONT COMPARE ME TO HIMSFDJNFJKSDH

**stabby mcgee** : Lol

**panta rat** : anywayssss~~ y’all should head over to the parkin lot at 4:20 !!! that’s when we’re leavin~~

**stabby mcgee** : ...really? Of all times?

**elder price** : quite peculiar if you ask angie!! :o

**i thought you were japanese** : lol im not surprised

**GU4C 80Y** : lol yeah hes being serious

**stabby mcgee** : ...alright then

* * *

The wonderful time of 4:20 had come, and the class had met up in the parking lot. Everyone was dressed pretty casually (except maybe Gonta, Korekiyo, and Ryoma, who probably wanted to keep up their whole aesthetic). Kokichi was wearing some god awful shirt with Garfield and mentions of the Black Death on it, and Rantaro was sporting the same one.

“I-Is this some weird human fashion culture I don’t know about..?” Kiibo asked, while squinting, “And Miu, why exactly does your shirt say ‘Mega Milk’?”

The three of them burst out laughing, and Kiibo just stood there in confusion.

“I-I really do not underst--!! Ah, I guess it’s best to just give up for now,” he sighed.

Meanwhile, Tenko was being the lesbian that she is.

“A-Aahhh!!!! T-Tenko thinks you all look so good and pretty!!” she practically yelled, putting her hands up to her cheeks, “You always do! E-Especially Himiko!”

Himiko pulled her hat down, with the slightest hint of a blush on her face, “Nyeh...thanks, Tenko…”

“Angie thinks this is absolutely divine!” she said with the usual smile on her face, “And she agrees with Tenko! Everyone is beautiful!”

“Except for those awful boys, of course!!!”

Kaede giggled at her classmates’ interactions, and was so glad that everyone got along.

She then saw Kokichi who was already making fun of Kaito and Maki, testing his life.

...she was glad everyone got along for the most part, anyway.

“Ah, um,” Kirumi cleared her throat, “Everyone!! I believe it’s time for us to get into the cars.”

“HELL YEAH!! LET’S FUCKIN’ GO!!!” Miu yelled.

Kokichi covered his ears with a disgusted face and said, “Ugh, gross, you’re so LOUD!!!”

“SAYS YOU, RAT!!!”

The two continued their bickering while Kaede and the others loaded up into the cars. They all figured that Rantaro and Kiibo would eventually collect them. Korekiyo’s car had three rows with three seats each, along with the driver and passenger seat, of course. She assumed Kirumi’s car was about the same.

“Hey, Shu! Wanna sit in the back with me?” Kaede asked with a smile, “And...wanna walk around the fair with me, too?” She’d been planning to ask him about this since last night, with Rantaro having to hype her up a bit. They were fairly simple questions, but Kaede was crushing _hard_.

“Ah, um, o-of course!” Shuichi stuttered out. It might have been Kaede’s imagination, but she thought she saw a sign of a faint blush on his face. She decided to brush it off for the moment, and headed to the back.

She looked out the window, and saw Rantaro casually picking Kokichi up like a potato sack over to Kirumi’s car and Kiibo...trying his best.

She let out a little laugh, “Man, as chaotic as we are, I’m glad everyone’s having fun! Hopefully we won’t cause too much trouble.”

“Ah, I’m sure we’ll be fine,” Shuichi said with a smile, “I think...Kokichi and Miu are the ones we gotta worry about the most...cause, well, you know them.”

Kaede laughed a little too loud at that remark, “Yeah! They’ll probably just hang around their crushes, though.” She internally cringed, knowing that that was _exactly_ what she was doing. God, she hoped she wouldn’t mess anything up. As kind as Shuichi was, she couldn’t help but feel a little nervous, fidgeting with the hem of her shirt.

“Ah--Kaede. Are-Are you alright? You look...kinda tense,” Shuichi asked. His voice was always so soft. How did he do that? It was a voice that, as cheesy as it is, was Kaede’s favorite melody. He was so cute, too. How did he do th--

AH!! Pull yourself together, Kaede!!

“Y-yeah!! I’m always alright when I’m with you, Shuichi!” Kaede blurted out. Oh god, did she actually just say that? Was that weird? Ahh, oh no!!

“Ah!! Um, th-thank you...I could really say the same to you,” Shuichi replied, looking down and very obviously blushing.

Oh, why’d he have to be so cute?

While Kaede smiled at the overwhelming sweetness of this boy, she noticed Angie had taken the passenger seat. “Angie doesn’t wanna be a third wheel, so she’s sitting up here!” she declared, buckling her seatbelt.

Kaede saw Kiibo fidgeting and Maki letting out a huff, leading her to stifle a laugh.

“Jeez, we’re all really obvious, huh?” Kaede looked back at Shuichi, nudging him a bit.

“Ah, yeah...really makes me wonder when anyone’s actually gonna get together.”

She wondered at the back of her head if _they_ would ever get together.

And after that quiet thought, Korekiyo finally turned the keys, and they were on the road.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope this was alright!! dialogue is Hard To Write oh man


	8. two trucks and a lot of disasters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kirumi made a right turn while Kokichi was yelling about rats and Tsumugi was playing some song. Unbeknownst to the cosplayer, she didn’t have her earbuds plugged in all the way, so...yeah. No one had really said anything. Tenko didn’t want to be mean to a sweet girl like Tsumugi, and Kokichi just thought it might be funny when she actually figured it out.
> 
> So then there was a nightcore version of Everytime We Touch playing in Kirumi’s car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SO FUCKING SORRY I TOOK SO LONG TO UPDATE THIS!!!! i got all unmotivated and school started and all that sO YKNOW!!! i'm also writing this real late and barely proofread this so plspls forgive me if there's any mistakes or shitty writing!!!
> 
> but enjoy this!! it's fairly longer than any of the other chapters, i think. it'll mostly focus on the pairings i haven't done much for (+some oumami) SO YEAH!! and i hope i got the vibe down for each character pov right...ahhhh
> 
> also a list of who's in whose cars bc i messed up last chapter
> 
> KORK: angie, shuichi, kaede, kaito, maki, miu, kiibo  
> KIRUMI: tsumugi, gonta, ryoma, kokichi, rantaro, tenko, himiko

NOTES: hi i messed up last chapter (fixed it oop) so!!!! here’s a list of the car peeps  
KORK: angie, shuichi, kaede, kaito, maki, miu, kiibo  
KIRUMI: tsumugi, gonta, ryoma, kokichi, rantaro, tenko, himiko  
this chapter’s gonna!!! mostly focus on the pairings that I Havent Done Much For (+oumami) so have fun

\------

“Ooooh, Korekiyo!! Is that mayhaps some Hozier you’re playing?” Angie asked with a finger up to her chin, “Hm, hm!! Cherry Wine, right?”

He nodded, “Yes, you are correct. I admit, I’m glad someone else here listens to him...he’s a wonderful artist, is he not?”

“Yep yep!!! Angie figured you would like Hozier!! You have that kind of energy, yea?” she grinned, “Maybe even Lemon Demon!!”

“I’m afraid I haven’t heard of them…?” he passed her the aux cord, “Here, feel free to play one of their songs after Cherry Wine, if you’d like.”

“Yay!! Alright!!~”

After the song by the forest man had run its course, Angie decided to _blast_ Two Trucks. 

“HELL YEAH!! THIS SONG IS THE _BEST_!!” Miu cheered from near the back. 

Kaede and Kaito, the sweet purple kids, burst out laughing. Shuichi and Kiibo just sat there, extremely confused as to why some dude was singing about trucks having sex and holding hands. Korekiyo and Maki, however, were unfazed.

“I must admit, I’m not surprised…”

“I--sorry, what the hell?” Shuichi had his face scrunched up in concern.

Kaede pretended to wipe a single tear off her face, “C’mon, Shuichi! This is, like, art!!”

“Yeah, dude!! What Kaede said!!” Kaito turned around and did a peace sign at them while Maki rolled her eyes and fidgeted with her hair. He turned back to the tired girl, “HEY MAKI ROLL! Wanna hear about space some more?!? There’s all kindsa cool stuff I haven’t told you about yet!!”

“We’re like, right next to each other...you don’t have to be so loud,” she looked around, face just a little bit flushed, “But yeah, sure. I’ve got nothing else to do…”

“I-uh--” Kiibo started, “D-Do humans typically listen to this kind of stuff?

“Hell yeah, Kiibs!! It’s great, right?!” Miu grinned.

“Really..? I’ve always wanted to be a pop star, so...maybe singing about...truck intercourse would help..? I doubt it, somehow.”

“Jeeez, speaking about your singing, I gotta fuckin’ fix that some day!! God!”

“Well, this artist actually has other good music!” Angie said, “Angie just thought it might be funny if she chose Two Trucks!”

“Angie, I think you’ve one hit killed me. Thanks.”

“Hey, don’t die, Shuichi!! You’re great!!”

“Oh, uh...thanks..?”

And so their trip _really_ began.

* * *

Kirumi made a right turn while Kokichi was yelling about rats and Tsumugi was playing some song. Unbeknownst to the cosplayer, she didn’t have her earbuds plugged in all the way, so...yeah. No one had really said anything. Tenko didn’t want to be mean to a sweet girl like Tsumugi, and Kokichi just thought it might be funny when she actually figured it out.

So then there was a nightcore version of Everytime We Touch playing in Kirumi’s car.

She sighed, and decided to take one for the team.

“Ah, Tsumugi. I’m in no place to say this, but your music is playing...fairly loud.”

She flinched and looked down, “Wh- _Oh god, I-I’m so sorry, I swear I listen to better music, I didn’t think it w-_ ”

“Literally all you listen to is nightcore and vocaloid,” Rantaro said from the back seat, “I’ve seen your playlists, y’know.”

“I--” Tsumugi’s face was red, “D-Don’t judge me!! At least vocaloid is good!!”

“Eah, that’s fair.”

“Umm...Gonta wonder what’s so bad with...nite-kore? Gonta thinks it’s cute! At least the song that Tsumugi was playing!”

“Gonta, you’re doing so great! You’re the only valid boy,” Tenko said, giving him a thumbs up.

“Nyehhh...what Tenko said,” Himiko rubbed her eyes.

Kokichi scoffed, “Nightcore’s just sped up songs!! Now that Tsumugi’s done with her weeb stuff, let’s talk about my rats!” he clapped between each word for emphasis.

“Cats are superior, though.”

“Hey Ryoma!! Hey! Hey! Turn around!”

He turned around.

“ _Bitch_.”

This was gonna be a long trip for Kirumi.

* * *

“There’s this one really cool planet, okay?” Kaito started, stars in his eyes, “It’s an ice planet, but it’s constantly on fire cause it’s like, _super_ close to its planet star. And the cool thing is, the ice doesn’t melt!! And that’s because the gravity basically keeps it from melting!!”

He turned to Maki with a grin, “Isn’t that rad, Maki Roll?”

Maki looked at that space boy’s stupid, dumb smile. She would probably never admit it, but she really _really_ liked his smile, even though he almost constantly had it. It was a nice smile, alright…?

...shut up.

“Yeah, I guess it _is_ pretty cool…” she drifted off for a bit, not sure what to say, “How come you know all this space stuff, but not 14+8?”

He froze, “I--hang on, I gotta like...think about this, Maki Roll,” he looked like he was thinking far too hard for basic math, “Like, 32? Wait, no, that can’t be right--”

As dumb as he was, it was kinda cute? Wait, no...don’t think that. Ugh.

Maki huffed out a laugh, “Jeez, you’re dumb, huh? I don’t know how you managed to become the Ultimate Astronaut.”

“Heyyy, Maki Roll!” he pouted, “That’s mean!! You _know_ being called an idiot hurts my feelings!”

“Alright, alright,” she said with the smallest hint of a smile. Hey, why was he friends with her anyway? He shouldn’t...like her as much as he does. After all, she didn’t deserve someone like him...

“HEY! Don’t say that, Maki Roll!” Kaito said, suddenly getting passionate. Even more so than he was with the planet talk.

She flinched and looked anywhere but at Kaito. Did she really just say that? Yikes. God, that’s gonna be another thing she’ll think about when she can’t sleep at 3 AM.

“You’re amazing, that’s why I like you so much!! Kinda sucks you don’t see it, but you really are great, Maki! Like, actually! You aren’t as bad as you think you are, alright?”

Maki puffed up her cheeks, her face getting redder, “Idiot...I’m not...as great as you think. I’m the Ultimate Assassin for god’s sake…you shouldn’t be so...sweet.”

Kaito shrugged, “Who cares about that?! I for one know how great you are, Maki! You really do have a golden heart! You’re pretty cute too, y’know?”

Her blush got deeper, although she really didn’t want to admit something as embarrassing as that, “J-Jeez...shut up. Do you wanna die?”

“ _Maki Roll…!! Come on!!!_ ”

This boy was going to be the death of her, she was sure of it.

* * *

“Himiko! Do you need anything? Tenko has water and snacks and everything!!”

“Hhnnnyeh…” she said, “I just kinda...wanna nap…”

Oh gosh, Himiko was so _cute_! Any person who said otherwise was just, as Tsumugi would say, plain wrong. Tenko had prepared a whole backpack of stuff _just in case_. Better to be safe than sorry, right?

“O-Oh, that’s alright too!! Himiko’s a sweetheart…so she can do anything she’d like!!” Tenko said, fidgeting with her hands.

Himiko twirled some of her hair, trying to hide her blush. Tenko found this extremely cute.

“Thanks, Tenko,” she paused and looked away, “Y-You’re a sweetheart too...I guess…”

There was a moment of silence between the two before Tenko absolutely exploded like a disaster lesbian.

“AHHH, THANK YOU S-SO MUCH, HIMIKO!!!” she yelled, “T-TENKO DOESN’T DESERVE SUCH HIGH PRAISE FROM YOU!!”

From the back, you could hear a faint ‘shut up’ from Kokichi, but Tenko just ignored him. 

“You don’t have to be so loud, y’know…” 

Tenko paused, realizing just how loud she was compared to Himiko, who generally spoke in a soft tone. She made a mental note to work on that. Though it _was_ good to yell sometimes!! Especially when Tenko is sad or angry...she’d be sure to teach Himiko all about it!

“Ah, Tenko is sorry,” she whispered, “Is this an okay volume for Himiko?”

Himiko sighed, amused, “You don’t have to be _that_ quiet, nyeh…just talk normally, okay?”

“O-Okay!” Tenko blushed, “Tenko-um- _I_ apologize if I-I’ve been too loud for you, Himiko. Tenko knows she can be! Very loud!”

Himiko tilted her head a bit, “Nyehh? You’re fine, Tenko. I think...it suits you. If that...makes sense…”

“Tenko thinks she gets what you mean!” 

“Umm, it suits you in like, a good way, though…”

“H-Huh?” Tenko’s blush grew deeper. What did Himiko mean by that? Oh gosh...

“Nyeh, I’m not sure...I think you’re...how do I put it?” Himiko paused, “Like a puppy, maybe? A really excited and fluffy one…”

“OH!! I-um-thank you!! D-Do you like puppies?” Tenko blurted out, “Or-or girls?”

Tenko didn’t mean to say that last part. Oh well, it was too late for her, and...maybe she had a chance with Himiko! She just had to hope. Like Makoto! He was one of the better boys, she decided.

Wait, she was getting off track here. Back to Himiko!

“Huhh..? Well, puppies are nice, I guess...so are girls…” she muttered, “I like tiger cubs, though. Since one is my familiar, y’know…?”

AH!! Himiko liked girls, just like Tenko! Maybe she liked Tenko back? Himiko was so cute, though...there’s no way she could like someone like Tenko! Nevertheless, Tenko was excited. Well, more excited than usual.

“OH! So you’re like Tenko? You like girls too?” she asked frantically, “A-are there any girls you like right now?”

Himiko pulled down her hat, “Ah, maybe...that’s an answer you’ll get some other day…” she trailed off.

“Oh, right!! Um--Tenko is sorry!! She shouldn’t have asked!” she waved her hands around, “And um...Himiko can take her nap now, if she so desires!”

“Hnnn...alright...wake me up when we get there.” 

Himiko pulled down her hat a bit more, and she fell asleep pretty quick. It was Himiko after all. She could fall asleep anywhere… and to Tenko’s delight, she actually _did_ end up falling asleep on her shoulder. She had to force herself to stay quiet, careful not to wake the smaller girl up.

“Ahhh...how cute can you be, Himiko..?” Tenko whispered to no one in particular. 

Tenko mostly was on her phone, but eventually got into a friendly argument (a class trial, Tsumugi called it) with Kokichi and Ryoma about cats.

But what she didn’t know was that Himiko was fake-sleeping (for the first few minutes, at least), and her face grew red at Tenko’s tiny comment. Tenko constantly said Himiko was cute, but...that felt different, somehow. A bit more genuine and soft. 

Absolute disasters, they were.

* * *

“And _this_ bad boy waters your plants while you sleep, made by the sexy bomb riiight here!” Miu pointed a finger at herself.

Kiibo was currently listening to Miu talking about her inventions. He had asked about them, interested in what else Miu had made. He knew about her weird interest in inventions that helped you do things while you slept, but wanted to know more of the other stuff that she made. She was showing him pictures on her phone, and had...a lot of similar inventions, actually.

So Kiibo decided to just compliment her on her appearance! She called herself a sexy bomb (as she usually did) so he thought it was an acceptable comment!

“Yes, I do think you are quite beautiful, Miu!” Kiibo grinned.

Miu froze.

“H-Huuhh?” she asked, “Wh-What are you talking about? Heee!!!” she covered her face.

Kiibo was most definitely confused.

“Wait, did I say anything wrong? I apologize if so!” he said, bowing, “It’s just...you always talk about how you’re a ‘sexy bomb’, so...I felt it was an appropriate comment!”

“Y-You can’t just say that stuff!! God!!” Miu looked anywhere but at him, clearly blushing.

Kiibo sighed, “I really...do not understand, but...I would genuinely like to get to know you more, Miu!”

“Hah? Whazzat mean?”

“Well...you mainly talk about your inventions and all that...but I don’t think I actually know much about you!” Kiibo said, “I would like to get to know you better...if that is alright with you, of course!”

“Hnnngggg!!!” Miu covered her face, “J-Jeez, why?!”

Kiibo thought about that for a bit.

He thought Miu was, of course, quite vulgar, but that was just how she was. He knew there was a genuinely kind, passionate person under that mask, and he saw that in her inventions. 

“Because I think you’re...a genuinely nice person! Under your...rough exterior, I suppose.”

He worded that correctly, right?

“HNNGGGGG KIIBOOOOO--!!!” Miu yelled, “God, but, I fuckin’ _suck_! Y-You’re too nice!!”

Kiibo was, yet again, confused.

“Huh…? But, you always seem so confident,” he said, “I don’t think you suck at all! You’re vulgar, yes, but that’s just who you are, I think…?”

“Shit, I said that out loud?” Miu asked, “Ughck...just, like, ignore that. You’re way too nice for a robot, y’know!”

“Hey-!! That’s just blatant robophobia!” 

“And what about it?”

“G-Gosh! You’re so rude sometimes…” he sighed, “But back to the subject at hand!” He heard a soft ‘fuck’ come from the blonde.

“I don’t exactly understand the situation, but would you like to walk around the fair with me today?” he asked, “That could be a nice place to talk...I’ve never experienced a fair, you know...you could tell me more, if you’d like.”

Kiibo saw that Miu was fidgeting with her hands, “ _Jeez_ , if you’re _that_ horny for me, then like, fine!!”

“I am n--ah, I should just be thankful you accepted, right..?” he asked, “Well, thank you, Miu! I will try my best to make sure you have fun!”

Miu squealed, “G-Gross!! Why are you so _formal_?? Have you even said fuck before?”

“Well...not to my knowledge, no. Is being formal bad..?”

“God, you’re just like fuckin’...what was his name? Mak-too?” she sighed, “You’ll learn one day, sweet summer child. I’ll teach ya! Alright, now just say ‘fuck’.”

“Wh-What?! No!”

“Pfffft, c’mon Kiibs!! I know you’ve got it in ya!! I’ll force it outta ya if I need to!”

“ _What does that even mean?!_ ”

“Haha, you’ll see!”

* * *

Rantaro and Kokichi were having their usual chaotic conversations. Not exactly conversations, but...the kind of thing where they showed each other dumb memes they found while not really doing much outside of that. Rantaro was about to show him another nonsensical meme, but...

“Heyyy, Rantaro-chaaaann!”

_Huh? What the hell? This fic didn’t even use honorifics,_ Rantaro thought. Then he mentally slapped himself, _God, I’m hanging out with Tsumugi too much._

“What’s up, Kichi?”

“It’s just that we haven’t pulled some pranks for a while now!” he said, sighing dramatically, “We should plan some!!”

“Huh. Guess you’re right,” he said, “Although we shouldn’t blame Gonta like we did with the bees...he was really sad about that.”

Kokichi stuck his tongue out, “Pffft, who cares? Bug boy mighta been sad, but it was a good prank, right?!”

“Well...I guess the look on Hiyoko’s face _was_ pretty funny…” he muttered, “But still. Kirumi basically grounded us for that.”

“Kaito looked like he was gonna pee!! It was _so_ funny and _so_ worth it!” Kokichi added, “And yeahhh, no one hurts her ‘sweet son’.”

“God, what’s up with you and pee?” Rantaro asked with a grin, “Do you have some weird kink or something?”

Kokichi made the most disgusted face he could muster, “Ewwwww, gross!! Are you sure _you_ aren’t the one with the piss kink?”

“Hey now, this is about you and _your_ piss kink.”

Kokichi pointed at him, “You didn’t deny that you had a piss kink, weirdo!!”

“Oh shit, you caught me, homie. I have the biggest piss kink ever. Bigger than Nagito’s,” he said, voice dripping with sarcasm.

Kokichi burst out laughing. Not to be gay or anything, but Rantaro _loved_ that laugh. As much as Kokichi was a gremlin, he loved that about him. He was actually, like, fun. There was a charm to him that Rantaro couldn’t quite place.

“Gross!!” Kokichi scoffed, “God, I was gonna ask you about prank ideas, but now I have another question for ya!”

Kokichi had that sort of glint to his eye. Rantaro raised an eyebrow.

“What’s up?”

“So, so…” he started, looking extremely suspicious.

“Do you _like_ anyone, Rantaro?”

Rantaro flinched and hoped Kokichi didn’t notice. Was he really that obvious? Did Kaede tell him something? No, no, she wouldn’t do that. But also what the hell?

“What makes you think that?” he asked, trying his best to be calm as always, “I don’t like anyone, if you mean a crush.”

Kokichi huffed and gave him a cheeky grin, “Gee, Taro! I would’ve thought you would know how to lie better than that. You’re friends with me, after all!”

Rantaro had only one word running through his mind.

Fuck.

He laughed, and it ended up being more awkward than he intended, “Seriously...what makes you think that?”

“Not to be a Kaito kin, but it’s just a hunch!” he giggled, “But now I _know_ you like someone!”

Rantaro shrugged. He decided to just go with it, “God, fine. Ya got me, Kichi.”

Would he regret that decision? Probably.

Oh well. He guessed that was just how it was gonna be.

Kokichi had a new sparkle in his eyes, “Oh, oh!! Who is it, who is it?!”

“Ahh, you’ll figure it out eventually,” Rantaro said, immediately regretting what he said. He was probably being way obvious right now. 

Kokichi stuck out his tongue, “Pffft, lame!!”

“That just how it be sometimes.”

“Well, once I figure it out, I’ll beat em up!! Cause y’know, we’re best friends!” he grinned.

“Ah, yeah,” he grinned back.

Best friends, huh?

That was nice to hear.

Rantaro’s phone buzzed.

“Oh, hey. Hang on,” he turned away, and thanked any and all gods for the chance to yell.

* * *

\-- **Kaede Akamatsu** to **Rantaro Amami** \--

**Kaede Akamatsu** : lol how are things with koki

**Rantaro Amami** : hey k can i say something

**Kaede Akamatsu** : yeah!

**Rantaro Amami** : AAAJIUHJGFEIWUHUIWEHDIUDHJKDSHGKJSDG HSGDUSIDG SDGNSKGDO H MY OGD OH MY GOD OH YMY GO

**Kaede Akamatsu** : ,,,taro??? are u ok???

**Rantaro Amami** : kichi jstu asked me if i had a crush and i think he knwso i like him GHHG HELP ME

**Kaede Akamatsu** : OH WIRM??

**Kaede Akamatsu** : oh my god?

**Rantaro Amami** : i am abt to SCREAM kaede im fuckgn

**Rantaro Amami** : im like sammyclassicsonicfan right now homie oh

**Kaede Akamatsu** : i have NO IDEA how to help bt????

**Kaede Akamatsu** : isnt that a sign that he likes you

**Kaede Akamatsu** : like

**Kaede Akamatsu** : isnt that?? a thing???

**Rantaro Amami** : OKAY BUT ITS KOKICHEWJFOIDJOGSSDJAJH

**Kaede Akamatsu** : just calm down ok??? he probably likes you back from what ive seen

**Kaede Akamatsu** : it’ll all be alright!! even if he knows (which he prob doesn’t cuz he’s dumb) he wont like

**Kaede Akamatsu** : kill u or anything

**Rantaro Amami** : ok but what if he like

**Rantaro Amami** : hates me or thinks its weird or something im

**Rantaro Amami** : i am going fuckign FERAL 

**Kaede Akamatsu** : he wont!! think that!!! i promise you

**Kaede Akamatsu** : you two are like

**Kaede Akamatsu** : best friends...so yknow

**Rantaro Amami** : ok ok ur right 

**Rantaro Amami** : ok alright alright um

**Rantaro Amami** : ill be backfhewrugh

**Kaede Akamatsu** : okay!

* * *

“Cool, it was j-just Kaede.”

Ack. He didn’t mean for that stutter to slip through. 

“Ohhh?? Is _she_ your crush?” he giggled, “You seem pretty frazzled, Taro!”

“You know I’m gay, homie.”

“Yeah!” he grinned, “For me!!”

Rantaro froze.

“Huh?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha sorry for the sort of cliffhanger! i'll get the next chapter up sooner than this;;;; BUT i hope you liked it!!! <3


	9. electrify my heart!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I like you too, y’know!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's 12 where i'm at right now but it's still shu's birthday somewhere in the world, right? happy birthday detective man
> 
> sorry for the suuuper slow updates lately! i'll try to get back on track!! :3
> 
> anyways, hope y'all enjoy this chapter, it was really fun to write!

“I like you too, y’know!”

Kokichi watched as Rantaro’s face went from his usual calm stare to something more...shocked and confused.

“W-Wait, hang on, what d’you mean, Kichi?” The taller boy was very obviously fidgeting with his bracelets. Poor dude. Not like Kokichi cared or anything.

And, well...from the looks of it, Kaede was right. Might be a fluke, but it seemed like Rantaro liked him back..? Kokichi internally groaned, trying to ignore his racing heartbeat. If it was true, he owed Kaede like, 20 bucks.

Kokichi giggled, putting his hand up to his mouth. “Wowww, I was just lying, but guess you really _do_ have a crush on widdle owd me, huh, Taro?” He hoped he wasn’t blushing. That would be suuuper embarrassing, huh?

“Hey, wait, what the fuck?” Rantaro looked...kind of upset, really. Oopsie! Kokichi didn’t mean for that to happen. “I-I don’t get this.”

“Really?” Kokichi asked. “I thought you were smart, Taro! Use ya brain.” 

Rantaro groaned, obviously tired. “Please, just tell me the truth. I know _you’re a liar_ ” he said, imitating Kokichi. “and all that, but...c’mon.”

Kokichi plastered on his usual cheery facade. “Well, that’s the question, eh? Do I or do I not like you?” He giggled yet again. 

Honestly, felt kind of bad for doing this to his best friend, but he couldn’t handle serious situations for shit. Plus, Rantaro could just think he’s a _total_ weirdo, and who wants that? He couldn’t risk losing his best friend.

“Kichi...please.”

_Welp! Guess I’ll die right here and now. I’ve lived enough of my life at this p--_

“Ah, everyone!” Kirumi turned around from the front seat. “We’re here now. Let’s meet up with the others.” She got out from the driver’s seat, everyone else unbuckling their seatbelts.

Kokichi laughed just a little bit too loud. “ _Wow_ , would you look at that? We’re here! I, ah, I heard there was some _super_ cool Minecraft ring toss thing? Let’s go!!” He slid out of the car as fast as he could, ignoring Rantaro’s calls for him.

Turns out the people from the other car were there as well. He scanned the area, looking for Kaede. Listen, he needed someone to yell to, okay?

“HEYY, KAEDE!” he waved.

“Oh, Kokichi!” she smirked. “So, how’s Rantaro goin’ for ya?”

“How’s Shumai going for ya, huh?”

She rolled her eyes, smiling.

“Hey now, this is about _you!_ You rarely ever talk to me willingly anyway,” she huffed out a laugh. “Something’s up, right?”

Kokichi groaned, obviously exaggerated. “Jeez, when did you get another brain cell?” He pointed at her and lowered his voice. “And, well...you _might_ be right about Rantaro liking me back. Which is absolutely dumb, because I really don’t wanna give you 20 bucks.”

Kaede pumped her fist in the air and grinned. “HA! I was right, see? So like, are you guys a thing now?”

“I may or may not have just left him hanging there, oopsie!” he giggled.

“ _PARDON?_ ”

Kokichi pouted and flicked Kaede in the shoulder. “Don’t be so loud, dummy! God, I didn’t know what to _do_ , okay?”

“Yeah, but--” Kaede sighed. “J-Just try to tell him the truth, alright? I know that’s hard for you, but if you don’t, then Rantaro’s gonna be a big baby and come crying to me. And you don’t want him sad, right?”

“Ugh,” he grimaced, “God, I hate it when you’re righ--”

He felt a tap on his shoulder.

“Hey, Kichi! Uh, can we talk?” Speak of the devil, huh? Shit.

“Eww, gross! Sorry Kaeidiot,” ...he’d been hanging out with Miu too much. “Gotta go talk to this big baby.”

He walked away with the taller boy, waving and sticking his tongue out.

Kaede stuck her tongue out back at him. She hoped they could get all this sorted out.

“So,” Shuichi said beside her. “What was that all about..?”

She grinned weakly. “Disaster gays, I guess.”

* * *

“What’s up, Ranty?” Kokichi grinned at the taller boy, who pulled him aside from the rest of the group.

“Okay, can you please just...tell me the truth?” Rantaro asked, ever patient.

“Hmmm, how about this?” Kokichi put up his finger to his cheek, a mischievous spark in his eye. “Y’know the ring toss thing I mentioned earlier? If you get a ring on one of the bottles first, then I have to tell you the truth, but if _I_ do, then I don’t have to tell you anything!”

Rantaro squinted. “Really? Sounds kinda...wack, really.” Rantaro wanted to be mad, but knowing Kokichi, this was probably his only chance.

“I promise!” he stuck out his pinky and smiled. “ _Pinky_ promise, even!”

Rantaro sighed, although it was more of a fond one than a tired one. How could he be so cute, even now?

He linked his pinky together with Kokichi’s.

“Fine, you dork.”

* * *

Gonta and Ryoma were idly chatting, still near the cars.

Gonta...actually really liked talking to the smaller boy. He was still trying to figure out what to do about the “crush” he had on him (he wondered why it was named something like that in the first place), but he was just having fun like always.

While Kokichi was yelling and Tenko was being a disaster, Ryoma brought a nice feeling of tranquility, somehow. He talked about how much he loved cats (and about the one he had at home!) and Gonta talked about how wonderful nature and bugs were.

“Ah! Gonta forgot to ask...what do people really _do_ at fairs? He forgot to ask earlier,” he scratched at the back of his neck with a nervous smile.

“Ah. I guess I was too busy talking about cats, huh?” Ryoma chuckled. “Sorry, big guy.”

“It’s alright!” Gonta grinned. “Gonta likes hearing Ryoma talk! He thinks his voice is...nice!” Did he word that right? He hoped he didn’t seem too weird.

“Oh, well, ah...thanks,” Ryoma pulled down his hat. “But to answer your question, I guess there’s some games and food and all that. It’s been a while, but I think you’d like it.”

“Games and food?”

“Yeah, there’s...a lot of unhealthy stuff, but I guess it’s good,” he said. “As for the games, it’s just stuff that’s sorta for kids, but hey, we’re all, like, 5 anyways, so it works out.”

“Yes! Especially...Kokichi, Gonta thinks!” he laughed. “He reminds him of...a cicada, maybe? They’re very loud, just like him. They’re nice friends, though!”

“Yeah. The lil dude’s...annoying, to say the least. Most of the time, anyway,” Ryoma smiled. “Himiko might be, like...a ladybug or somethin’. Dunno if they’re lazy, but they kinda match in appearance...?”

Gonta got oddly happy at his statement. Well, he was a known bug lover, so obviously he was excited, but it brought him joy that Ryoma was actually...interested!

“Oh, yes!!” his eyes lit up. “Gonta is glad Ryoma likes bugs, too! Just shows even more that Ryoma’s a good person, Gonta thinks!”

“A good person…?” Ryoma quirked one of his eyebrows up. “I mean, bugs are cool, but I’m not all that great. Trust me on this one.”

“B-But!” Gonta interjected. “It’s not just because Ryoma likes bugs! Ryo-- _you_ are always so kind, and you don’t realize it, Gonta thinks. You say you aren’t a good person, but Gonta, and many other people, think you’re amazing!”

Gonta hoped that Ryoma got the point! He hated seeing the boy being self-deprecating, because he was just so _wonderful_. And he wanted to show Ryoma that. 

Ryoma looked...shocked, honestly. A light pink dusted his face.

“I--” he coughed. “Th...thanks, big guy. I, ah, think you’re amazing, too. I’ve still got a ways to go, but...you’re pretty great. Really.”

Gonta’s face turned red. He _did not_ expect something like that.

“Oh!! Th-thank you, Ryoma!! So much!” he smiled shakily. “Gonta really appreciates it!”

“It’s no problem, bud,” he smiled a smile that Gonta loved so very much. “Ah, wanna go get some cotton candy or somethin’?”

“Yes, of course!”

And so the two went on their own small little journey. Sure, both of them didn’t really know what to do, but they had their own fun (they even found a stray cat). And that’s all that mattered to both of them.

And they were happy.

* * *

“So, ah, Kaede,” Shuichi started. “What should we...do?”

The two had already wandered around and ate some of that signature fair food, deep fried and all. Shuichi really loved to spend time with Kaede, no matter what they were doing. He was a bit awkward, but Kaede...actually didn’t seem to mind, which he found really comforting.

“Hmmm, I dunno, actually!” she stood there in thought for a bit. “Bumper cars sound good to you? I’ll see if anyone else wants to go so it’s not just us and a buncha 8 year olds.”

“Oh, uh, sure! I’ve...never been in one of those, actually…” he said, sighing.

“Ahh, right,” Kaede said, a knowing look in her eyes. “Wouldn’t wanna relive the hooker incident, huh?” Shuichi could hear the teasing smile in her voice.

“I--that was _one time_!!” he ran his fingers through his hair. “It was an accident, too. I swear.”

Kaede giggled while typing in a message on her phone. “Yeaahhh, it sure was an accident, huh Shu?”

“I-It _was_!!” he sighed, although it wasn’t as tired as it usually would be. His phone buzzed, and saw that Kaede sent out a message in the group chat.

\-- **ALL THE RATS** \--

**ultimate penis** : _@everyone_ hey anyone who wants to have some bumper car shenanigans meet me and shu there!! <3

**space jam** : YES!! !YES!! MAKIROLL DYOU WANNA

**stabby mcgee** : Uhg, fine.

**blonde little bitch** : YEAH YEAH EYAHEYEAH KIIBOY LETS OG

**do robots have dicks?** : Wha6???jJ=2ER2U9325WRJ

**i’m lesbian** : TENKO WILL GO W HIMIKO IF THATS ALRIGHT!!

**i thought you were japanese** : kk

**naruto x sasuke** : i’ll go too! ^^

**elder price** : so will angie!

Shuichi let out a laugh, seeing just how disastrous his classmates were. As much as he pretended to not know them, he did love them all a lot (even if they were all dumb disasters).

“Huh, I guess Kokichi’s busy with Rantaro, huh?” Kaede asked to no one in particular, trying to hide a grin. “Well, hope that’ll end up well for ‘em. I’ve been waiting for this for so long.”

Shuichi smiled. “Yeah… everyone’s been surprisingly obvious about their crushes, I guess.” _Hopefully not me, too,_ he thought. “I hope everything goes well.”

“Yeah! Same. Especially Taro and Kichi, they’ve been disaster gays and ranting to me this entire time.” She sighed dramatically.

The two stood there quietly for a bit before Kaede asked, “Hey, Shu, do _you_ have a crush on anyone?”

Shuichi froze. Was he so obvious too? What if she figured it out and thought he was weird? Okay, Shuichi, just answer the question.

“I--uh--” he looked to the side, quite obviously blushing. “Well, n--I mean, yes, or...” he sighed. Great job on that one, buddy.

“Don’t need a detective to figure out that one!” Kaede remarked, grinning. “Hah, you’re so cute! So, who’s the lucky person?”

“C-cute?” he asked, face growing redder. He wished he had his hat to pull down. Maybe this was his chance? “No, I’m not really cute at all...and uh, well...it’s--”

“HEYYY, KAEIDIOT! POOICHI!” Miu yelled, dragging Kiibo behind her. Shuichi wilted. Guess his chance was gone. “The gorgeous girl genius and her roboyfriend are here!”

“Wait, wait, roboyfriend?” Kaede asked, seeming to forget what had just been going on.

“Yeah! Kiiboy and I _totally_ just made out in an alley, right?” she grinned. “It was _super_ hot.”

“N-no we did not! We aren’t even dating yet!”

“Y-y-yet?” Miu recoiled, blushing.

Shuichi sighed as everyone else joined the group. Some came in like a hurricane, and some came in more calmly. His gaze landed on Kaede, like always. She was always so beautiful and wonderful and calming and just...radiant, really, as cheesy as that was. He hoped that, maybe, just maybe, she liked him back?

Kaede’s eyes met Shuichi’s, and she grinned in his direction. He melted. 

Maybe he was a disaster too.

* * *

20 dollars and 4 and a half buckets of rings later, neither of them could get a ring on a bottle.

“GOD!” Kokichi yelled. “Why did I think this was gonna be a good idea?”

“I don’t know,” Rantaro sighed. “This is hell. I just want a creeper plushie.”

The spunky girl watching over the booth giggled. “Ibuki thinks it’s a fun date for ya, though!”

Rantaro flinched. First Gonta, and now her? Were they _that_ obvious?

“Date?” Kokichi stuck out his tongue. “Dunno what you’re talkin’ about, lady! I’d never date this idiot!”

“Really?” she asked, putting her fingers up to her temples. “Ibuki saw you looking at him, though! It was like, all romantic and everything! Though Ibuki might be wrong, oopsie!”

“Huh?” Rantaro asked. That was _really_ cute. God. “Hah, guess you _do_ have a crush on me, huh, Kichi?” he booped the shorter boy on his nose.

“Shut up, Ranty!” Kokichi started to fake cry. “Y-y-you’re so meaaann!!”

Rantaro was always amused at his shenanigans. As annoying as he was, he did really love the little rat.

“You can drop the act, y’know,” he grinned.

Kokichi groaned and said, “Fiiine! Anyways, it’s gonna take us, like, 10 decades to get this god damned creeper plush.”

“Yeah, jeez. Hey, uh...Ibuki, was it?” Rantaro asked. “You sure this isn’t rigged or something?”

She shook her head. “Nope! This is totally super-duper fair!”

“Wack,” Kokichi said, tossing another ring, missing yet again.

Rantaro saw a trio approaching them. He recognized them as Disaster Boy Nagito, Gamer Girl Chiaki, and OJ Hajime. Hajime didn’t like to talk about The OJ Incident, but hey. Who was he to stop literally everyone else?

This was probably going to end up in disaster, but hey.

“Oh, hey, it’s Rantaro!” Nagito waved. “You struggling with that?”

He nodded. “Yeah, we’ve already spent, like, 20 bucks on this.”

“Nice job, Ibuki!” he said, grinning. She thanked him, doing finger guns.

Rantaro had an idea, though there was a chance it’d go terribly wrong, somehow.

“Hey, Nagito, d’you wanna help me out with this?” he asked.

“Hey, not fair! Using the lucky dude?” Kokichi said beside him, though he just ignored it.

“That...might not end so well, I think,” Chiaki said softly.

“Yeah, everything’s been going almost too well today, Nagito,” Hajime added.

“Hmm...I’d usually say no, but this might be fun!” he smiled.

Ignoring Hajime and Kokichi’s cries of protest, he handed Ibuki 5 dollars and grabbed a ring out of the bucket he gave her.

“Alright, let’s try this out--”

As he said that, he tripped on a stray rock.

“God dammit!” Hajime said at the same time Chiaki said, “Ah, I was right…”

Yeah, okay, maybe Rantaro shouldn’t have gone through with this idea.

See, the booth wasn’t very sturdy. It even had a sign on it saying “Do Not Lean!”. And Nagito, local disaster, had tripped in the direction of the booth, falling before he could stop himself.

The not-so-sturdy cardboard booth fell apart, Nagito yelping in surprise. The Minecraft plushies fell to the ground and the bottles clinked together, making a loud cacophony of noise.

“Nooo!!” Ibuki cried. “All of Ibuki’s hard work!”

Nagito tried to pick himself up, only making the situation worse. “Ahh, I--I’m so sorry! I swear I’ll pay you back somehow...I really am useless, huh?”

As the 4 of them bickered, Kokichi and Rantaro’s eyes met. They slinked away from the situation, ending up in the front of some alley.

Kokichi sighed, sliding down a wall in frustration. “God, guess my plan didn’t work, huh?”

Rantaro tilted his head and asked, “Plan?”

“Alright, I’ll admit it,” he waved his arms around, vaguely upset. “I was gonna like, tell you I _liked_ you or whatever either way, and it was dumb, but,” he paused, voice growing quieter, “I thought we could like, kiss or whatever, I don’t know…”

Rantaro stood there for a few seconds in silence before a smile started to grow on his face.

“So you _do_ like me, huh?” he chuckled. “Guess Ibuki and Gonta were right.”

“Wh--Gonta?” Kokichi looked anywhere but at Rantaro, and his face was even red. He was unusually unlike his charismatic self, and Rantaro found that adorable.

“Yeah, he thought we were dating, and I like, freaked out to Kaede,” he said, smiling a bit at the past memory. “But you didn’t answer my question, y’know.”

“Ugh, fine,” Kokichi sighed. “ _Yes_ , I like you, dummy! It’s...embarrassing how much I like you and your dumb face, honestly.”

Rantaro’s smile grew, feeling like a huge dork. He wanted to scream in happiness. “You sound like a total tsundere, y’know.”

“Hey!” he flicked Rantaro in the shoulder. “I’m trying to be serious, and you’re pulling out dumb anime stuff!”

“Yeah, but you’re being cute.” It felt so nice to actually say that.

“Shut up, you’re so annoying,” Kokichi spat out, although there was no venom in that remark. 

“Yeah, well, so are you, y’know,” Rantaro teased. “And hey, about that whole kissing thing…wanna do that anyway…?”

Kokichi froze, quite obviously blushing at this point. Well, it’s not like Rantaro wasn’t either, but it was sweet.

“Dork, you don’t even have to a-ask,” Kokichi sighed, exasperated. “Shit, didn’t mean to stutter like a whole nerd. Hey, isn’t it really hot today? Is that just m--”

Rantaro laughed, cupping his best friend’s face. He was...surprisingly soft.

“Cute…”

As they tried to lean in for a perfect movie kiss, their noses bumped together clumsily. Rantaro grinned, trying not to laugh. His heart was racing and they were _so_ close together and--

Well, to put it bluntly, they kissed.

Their lips brushed together, and sure, Kokichi’s lips were kind of chapped and Rantaro had drunk a little too much orange soda, but it was nice. _Really_ nice, actually.

The two gazed into each other’s eyes for a good few seconds (faces both _very_ flushed) before Kokichi went right back in, standing on his tippy-toes. Kokichi clumsily put his arms around Rantaro’s neck, and Rantaro moved his hands so they could run through Kokichi’s hair. It was so soft and fluffy, _how was it so soft_? As brash as he was, everything about him was so nice, Rantaro almost couldn’t believe it.

The two, as cliche as it is, melted into the kiss, though it was more like lots and lots of soft, short kisses. As Rantaro sighed, Kokichi suddenly pulled away, looking real flustered.

“God, you’re so embarrassing,” he said, covering his face with one hand. “We’re in an alley and everything…”

Rantaro laughed, running a finger through his hair. “Let’s hope no one saw that, huh? Especially Kaede.”

“I’d rather die,” he replied, scoffing.

“Hah, yeah. Same.”

The two of them paused, not really sure what to do then.

“Oh, also?” Kokichi reached in his pocket, pulling out 2 small green plushies. “I stole a couple of the smaller creepers while no one was looking, so here!” He handed him one of them with a mischievous smile.

“ _Kichi!!_ ”

* * *

“Oh, god,” Kaede said, running a hand through her hair. “Miu...really went ham, huh?”

“Y-Yeah, you’ve got that right,” Shuichi said beside her.

The gang had just gotten done with the whole bumper car fiasco, and the calmer kids were...tired, to say the least. Miu had haphazardly rammed into everyone in there, absolutely going ham, while Kiibo struggled to figure out how this worked. Angie had cheered out multiple “Yahoo!”s, bumping into whoever she could find, and told a random kid a fun fact about the world.

Kaede stood there, thinking. She felt like she had forgotten something earlier. Something...vaguely important, maybe? Her eyes grew shifty, trying to remember. It was...a question, maybe? With Shui--

“OH!” she yelled out. She saw Shuichi flinch beside her, surprised by her sudden outburst.

“What is it, Kaede?” he asked, fidgeting with his hands. “Is something wrong?”

“No, no, I’m just dumb!” she bonked her hand on her head, feeling like an idiot.

“What? No, you’re not dumb, you’re, ah, really smart, actually--”

“No, not like that!” she sighed. “I just remembered that question I asked you earlier, and I never got an answer from you!”

“Oh!” Shuichi looked to the side. “Th-the question about who I liked?”

“Yeah, of course! Jeez, I forgot about that ‘cause of Miu’s shenanigans,” she sighed. “So, who _is_ the lucky person?”

She hoped that the question wasn’t too...personal? But this was Kaede. So of course, she was impulsive as ever.

So, who was his crush?

“Ah, um…”

Maybe Kaito? A classic friends to lovers situation. No homo, none at all.

“Well…”

Or Kiibo! They’d probably be cute, right?

“Ah, give me a second.”

Or even Kokichi? Man, that’d make the whole situation a whole lot more of a mess--

“It’s...um...the ‘lucky person’ is you, Kaede,” he said softly.

Huh? It was...her?

He seemed to instantly regret saying that, looking away in an instant with his face flushed. 

“Ah, s-sorry, you probably don’t...like me back. I-I’m sorry. I’ll just lea--”

“What?” Kaede asked, dumbfounded. “Wait, did I hear that right?”

Shuichi paused, fiddling with his thumbs.

His voice lowered, seemingly embarrassed. “I-If you heard that you’re the one I like, then...that’s...th-that’s right, yeah.”

Kaede stood there, trying to process the new information. Her late night conversations with Rantaro didn’t prepare her for this at all. Shuichi...liked her? Well, yeah, the fantasy had crossed her mind every once in a while, but she never thought it would actually, y’know, come true.

“Wait, so…” she pointed to him and then back to herself. “Y-you like me!! Romantically!!”

“Yes...?” Shuichi said. “I thought I was being really obvious, h-honestly.”

She paused before realizing that she hadn’t told the poor boy how she felt. He looked unbelievably nervous, more than she’d ever seen him before. 

“Oh!” she yelped. “I’m dumb, god! I-I really like you too!”

It would have been a good idea to just end her confession there, but Kaede’s heart was racing and she was pretty sure that her face was red, and there was no stopping her then.

“More than a friend! And-and I’ve yelled to Rantaro about how much I wanna kiss your dumb face and hold your hand and go on cute dates and I’m talking too much, aren’t I?”

She put her hands on her face, embarrassed. In her head, her confession went out super smoothly and all poetic, like in those old fancy books. But...she guessed awkward, disaster of a confession would have to do for now.

“O-oh,” Shuichi said. “I--wow. Okay.”

He paused. It seemed like neither of them really knew what to say. The two stood there in silence for a bit before Shuichi spoke up.

“I-uh...I wanna do all of that with you, too, Kaede. I really do. I-I don’t know what to say,” he sighed, although he had a lopsided smile on his face.

“You’re so goddamn _adorable_ , I can’t handle it,” Kaede blurted out.

Yeah, this was definitely not going how she thought it would. 

“Wh-what? N-no, I’m not,” Shuichi sighed, and looked like he was trying to gather his thoughts. “That’s...you, really. You’re always so beautiful and kind to everyone. And I really...admire that? And I always love hearing you talk about piano. It’s...so nice, seeing how passionate you are about it. If--If that makes. Any sense. At all.”

Kaede nearly fell over from the sheer shock she felt. She’d had a crush on this boy for months on end, and hearing him say that nearly made her short circuit.

“WOW,” she borderline shouted. Yeah, she was definitely blushing. “When did you get so smooth. What the heck.”

Shuichi also looked fairly embarrassed, face red. “Y-yeah, I don’t know how that happened, either.”

“U-um, so…” she started. “D-do you wanna hold hands, maybe?”

“Oh!” Shuichi looked surprised by her question. “Y-yeah, that’d be great.”

Kaede had a dorky grin on her face, and Shuichi looked like he was about to explode, but it was really nice. Miu was yelling about how “fuckin saucy” it was getting over there, pointing at the two of them, but they just ignored her. This night didn’t go as planned, but she was glad that it went this way.

And, well, they held hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope i fed y'all oumami/saimatsu stans good food!
> 
> i hope the kiss scene was alright. i dreaded writing that cuz kisses are hard to write, babey!!! ! but i tried and i hope it's decent!!!!
> 
> and i'm sorry if goshi seems out of place, just wanted to give my boys some content after Not giving them anything last chapter!!!!
> 
> anyways *blows kiss* have a nice day!


	10. angie's cryptic, people are disasters, and owo is said

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **elder price** : something seems different :o
> 
> **GU4C 80Y** : ? wym
> 
> **elder price** : specifically with you and kaede! :0c
> 
> **elder price** : angie wonders what it is...hm…
> 
> **elder price** : OH!!!!!!
> 
> **elder price** : perhaps…new relationships? ;3
> 
> **GU4C 80Y** : HUH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YO SORRY FOR TAKIN' A WHILE AGAIN!!!!! it wasn't a matter of me being too sad to finish this up, but it was just me being too obsessed with the great british bake off.
> 
> ...anyways, hope this chapter's alright!!! i forgot how nice n easy it was to write in chat fic form (especially after all those WORDS) so !! we're gettin back to the swing of things, and i'm pretty sure i got everyone to speak at least once in this chapter!!! tell me if i'm mistaken, though, sdhfsd
> 
> enjoy!!!

Everyone was tired after their day at the fair, and the car rides back were most definitely calmer than the ones on the way. Kirumi was eternally grateful that Kokichi was asleep, even though he was snoring. Korekiyo still had to deal with Kaito, but Miu was knocked out cold, so he was alright with the situation.

They all got back to their dorms safe and sound at around 9 or 10 PM, Kokichi and Miu obviously being the token grumps.

“Ugh, god, I wanna die,” Miu complained, rubbing her eyes. “I’m gonna go get my beauty sleep! Not that I need it anyway.”

“Oh, no, you _definitely_ need it, pig,” Kokichi said, a little less hostile than usual. “I’m the one who doesn’t need any beauty sleep! I’m so cute, after all.”

“Shut up…”

The two lacked their usual spunk and pizzazz, seeing as they were both _really_ tired. They just walked around for a solid, like, 5 hours, so don’t blame them. Rantaro and Kiibo both sighed at their antics.

Eventually, everyone headed to their rooms to get some well-needed rest.

* * *

9:43 AM

\-- **ALL THE RATS** \--

**elder price** : good nom nom nomming everyone !!!! ^w^

**elder price** : ibuki said angie should say that!! angie thinks it’s very cute!!

**MOM** : Ah...good morning, Angie.

**MOM** : I’m glad to see you’re doing well.

**elder price** : hm!!! is kirumi tired? :o

**elder price** : angie wouldn’t be surprised! you drove and kept track of everyone and everything...angie thinks you should take a break!! :3c

**MOM** : Ah, but I like to serve, no matter how large the task. After all, I am the SHSL Maid.

**elder price** : but, but!!

**elder price** : everyone needs breaks sometimes! :D

**elder price** : even angie c:

**GU4C 80Y** : whats up im here now

**GU4C 80Y** : and i gotta agree with ang aha

**GU4C 80Y** : besides u already do a LOt for us

**GU4C 80Y** : so uh. yeehaw

**MOM** : Ah…

**MOM** : But it wouldn’t be in my nature to take a break...I’m here to help you all.

**elder price** : but kirumi! :o

**elder price** : you can just take a break today!! and we can do all the work ourselves!! >:3

**ultimate penis** : OH KIRUMI LUVIN HOURS?

**yknow like nya** : Oh, it’s Kirumi Loving Hours?

**ultimate penis** : HAHA HELL YEAH

**yknow like nya** : But yea. I agree. Just,,, take a break. We can probably deal with Kokichi’s complaining or whatever ourselves.

**ultimate penis** : ^^^!!!!!! pwease kiwumi take a bweak!!! owo

**GU4C 80Y** : pweaaseee!! just fow today!! uwu

**elder price** : yes yes!! pwease take dway off!!

**MOM** : Psaehfdsf

**MOM** : As long as you stop...talking _like that_.

**elder price** : YAY!! :D

**ultimate penis** : KIRUMI KEYSMASHESD????

**ultimate penis** : ok today is a Good Day

**yknow like nya** : I gotta agree, yea

**GU4C 80Y** : yeas

**MOM** : Ah, by the way...

**MOM** : Thank you.

**GU4C 80Y** : haha its np

**ultimate penis** : anything 4 u rumi! c:

**elder price** : it is no problem at all!

**elder price** : hmmm!!!

**elder price** : something seems different :o

**GU4C 80Y** : ? wym

**elder price** : specifically with you and kaede! :0c

**elder price** : angie wonders what it is...hm…

**elder price** : OH!!!!!!

**elder price** : perhaps…new relationships? ;3

**GU4C 80Y** : HUH

**ultimate penis** : WHFU HWHAT ARE YOU TARLKING ABOUT

**yknow like nya** : ...ok even I think I can be less obvious

**yknow like nya** : But hey. Good for you

**ultimate penis** : HGWAUGHDSI SHUT UP RYOMA

**elder price** : aha!!! so angie was right :D

**elder price** : let her guess...rantaro is with kokichi and kaede is with shuichi! :3

**ultimate penis** : WWIAT

**ultimate penis** : _RANTARO_ you didnt tell me about this hwat !!!!!!!!!!

**GU4C 80Y** : i!!!!! was too tired but YOU AND SHU??!??!!?

**ultimate penis** : HFIEWDSFISIFE SHUT U[P

\-- **Rantaro Amami to Kaede Akamatsu** \--

**Rantaro Amami** : WH!!!! HWHAGT

**Kaede Akamatsu** : not so soft scREAMING

**Rantaro Amami** : HEY how the FUCK did angie find that out im

**Kaede Akamatsu** : i dont kNOW i’m dying?

**Rantaro Amami** : BUT!

**Rantaro Amami** : you got together with shu!!!!!! hell YEAH!!!! NICE

**Rantaro Amami** : ive been waiting for this moment all my life

**Rantaro Amami** : after all ur 3am calls…

**Kaede Akamatsu** : LITERALLY i could say the same to you??!?!?!?!

**Kaede Akamatsu** : you two r DUMMIES and you both fuckign...gushed about the other in my dm’s and i was about to DIE

**Kaede Akamatsu** : now i can die, but like, peacefully

**Rantaro Amami** : fhweoisdfjasd

**Rantaro Amami** : howd u and shu do!!! tell me the scoop

**Kaede Akamatsu** : o he was being...really sweet and smooth somehow??? and also we held hands and i nearly died

**Rantaro Amami** : aWWwwWW sO CUuUUute

**Kaede Akamatsu** : FUGEHIA SHUT UP

**Kaede Akamatsu** : i can yell about shuichi later!!!!!! what about you and koki

**Rantaro Amami** : um

**Rantaro Amami** : we ma y have kissed

**Kaede Akamatsu** : _WHAT_

\-- **ALL THE RATS** \--

**i thought you were japanese** : hh im trying to sl

**i thought you were japanese** : oh wow what did i walk into

**yknow like nya** : Kaede and Rantaro being disasters

**i thought you were japanese** : oh ok makes sense

**i thought you were japanese** : oh.. they finally got togethr with their crushes? nice

**i thought you were japanese** : ‘grats

**ultimate penis** : thanks himiko!!!

**GU4C 80Y** : tytyty

**i thought you were japanese** : wish i had the same courage as u guys..

**yknow like nya** : Eyy gang gang

**ultimate penis** : _@GU4C 80Y_ [eyes emoji]

**GU4C 80Y** : oh??? multiple eyes emojis 

**yknow like nya** : Wow would you look at that I have to go

**big dick is back in town** : Oh, hi Ryoma!!! :D Sorry to see you go so soon, but it’s nice seeing you anyway!!

**yknow like nya** : .

**yknow like nya** : Ok nevermind

**big dick is back in town** : Oh! Yay C:

**MOM** : I must admit, I laughed.

**yknow like nya** : Ooiusf I thought I could trust you…

**i thought you were japanese** : ahaha

**i thought you were japanese** : nyways. gonna go sleep again

**i’m lesbian** : HIMIKO!!!!!!! HI

**i thought you were japanese** : ok im still going t sleep but

**i thought you were japanese** : not right now ig. hi tenko :>

**yknow like nya** : Oh so you laugh at me but

**i thought you were japanese** : shut the heck ur mouth

**yknow like nya** : Hah okay

**big dick is back in town** : PLease do not!!! !

**yknow like nya** : Fehwuaf ok

**i’m lesbian** : ryoma dont be fucking rude!! !!! ! (jokes!!)

**i’m lesbian** : BUT :D!!!!!!! tenko hopes your day has been going well himi!!!!

**i thought you were japanese** : himi...

**i thought you were japanese** : hhshd.. thanks..you too

**i’m lesbian** : wAA..t thank you!!!!!!!!!!!

**naruto x sasuke** : awww ^^ all the ships are coming together!!

**do robots have dicks?** : Hey Tsu? Literally never say that again, thank you.

**GU4C 80Y** : perish, mugi

**naruto x sasuke** : :( ok

**space jam** : diD SOMEONE SAY SHIPS?? LIKE ROCKET SH

**space jam** : oh nevermind tsumugis just being a weeb again

**big dick is back in town** : Ships? Weeb?? :0

**despicableXD** : I don’t believe you would want to know, Gonta.

**big dick is back in town** : Hmm..okay!! Gonta also saw Tsumugi talking about something with the letters ABO earlier???

**i’m lesbian** : ok listen all girls are FANTASTIC but

**i’m lesbian** : what the FUCK tsumugi!!!!!

**i thought you were japanese** : whats that

**despicableXD** : ...oh my.

**naruto x sasuke** : HAHAAAA WOW OK I GUESS I GOTTA GO NOW!!!!! SOMEONES CALLING ME BYE GUYS

**yknow like nya** : Hey Tsumugi???

**naruto x sasuke** : hAhahaha what ryoma i haev a call

**yknow like nya** : You will die in 7 days.

**yknow like nya** : _@stabby mcgee_

**stabby mcgee** : What do you need I’m doing s

**stabby mcgee** : Oh.

**stabby mcgee** : Well, I thought I wasn’t getting out my knife today but here we are. /s

**naruto x sasuke** : no please have mercy i didnt think gonta would hear!!!!!

**stabby mcgee** : ...okay fine.

**blonde little bitch** : YOOOO WE TALKING ABOUT ABO???

**despicableXD** : Miu, please. Even _I’m_ not a fan of it.

**blonde little bitch** : HGNNGNGD IM WAS JOKIGN I SWEAR

**shulock homo** : oh wow i walk into _this_??? ok then ajgdhgdsg

**ultimate penis** : i’m sorry shuichi

**big dick is back in town** : ...so Gonta guesses it not so good??

**stabby mcgee** : Yeah. Just trust us on this one, it’s… a yikes.

**yknow like nya** : ^^^ It’s gross

**elder price** : say!!!! why was tsumugi even talking about it in the first place?? :o

**naruto x sasuke** : nervous laughter

**MOM** : I feel as if it would be better if we changed the subject.

**naruto x sasuke** : ohthankgod

**space jam** : YEA no one likes the weird mpreg stuff!!!!!! >:o (except miu probs)

**blonde little bitch** : I WAS JOKING!!!!!!!!!

**do robots have dicks?** : I don’t think anyone believes that, Miu.

**panta rat** : THE GREAT KOKICHI OUMA IS HERE!!!!!!!!! i just woke up

**panta rat** : oh wtf????? miu cmon even i thought you could do better than this

**blonde little bitch** : I!!! WAS!!! JOKING!!!! I SWEAR

**panta rat** : i know a liar when i see one!!!!! >:3

**elder price** : so!!! as a new subject, how about we talk about the new couples!! :D

**shulock homo** : IHGUEDSKJ _HUH_

**panta rat** : oh

**panta rat** : WAIT

**panta rat** : WITH AN S???? KAYAYDAY DID YOU FINALLY??????????

**ultimate penis** : LITERALLY shUT your MOUTH GDFHEIUASDF

**panta rat** : i have a question angie how the FUCK do you knwo that

**elder price** : angie just knows!!! >u<

**space jam** : WAIT!!!!!

**space jam** : MY SIDEKICK FINALLY GOT THE GUTS TO TELL KAEDE??? YEAH BOY !!!! IM PROUD OF YOU

**shulock homo** : kkAITO

**shulock homo** : this is the group chat shut up gfreugsdigusdgj

**ultimate penis** : oh?? oh worm??

**space jam** : YEAH shuichi would yell at me about how like. amazing you are or whatever!!!!! glad you guys finally got together!! ! >:D

**shulock homo** : IFUIEWHFDIUHFSDIF SHHHUT YOUR MOUTH

\-- **Shuichi Saihara** to **Kaede Akamatsu** \--

**Shuichi Saihara** : hhghg i’m sorry that must be so wEIRD kaito’s just dumb ghewiusdsag

**Kaede Akamatsu** : NO IT’S REALLY CUTE DW!!! <3333

**Shuichi Saihara** : ewhwuiahfjke.a…okay///

**Kaede Akamatsu** : you really are cute shu!!!!! :D

**Shuichi Saihara** : ttthanks… <3

**Kaede Akamatsu** : <3333!!

\-- **ALL THE RATS** \--

**despicableXD** : Congratulations. I’m glad you two got your feelings sorted out.

**big dick is back in town** : Gonta congratulates you too!!!! <3<3

**ultimate penis** : thanks guys!! ^^

**shulock homo** : heuwfh thanks;;

**stabby mcgee** : ..so are we gonna ignore the fact that purple rat gremlin is dating someone too

**panta rat** : LITERALLY die hgawuegidg

**space jam** : OH SHIT YEAH THATS HAPPENING TOO

**space jam** : kokichi it’s well known that i hate you with my entire being (HWIFS not really) but congratulations dude!!!! glad That finally happened !!!

**blonde little bitch** : CONGRATS BITCH!!!!!!! >:O

**blonde little bitch** : took ya long enough 

**panta rat** : wild coming from u but THANKS

**blonde little bitch** : HEY THIS IS ABOUT YOU SHUT UP WGDISIDGDNJ

**GU4C 80Y** : haha yea thanks gamers ^^

**elder price** : angie is glad everything’s going so well!!! she wonders if anyone else will get together, too.. o3o

**ultimate penis** : just wanna say A) god i HOPE so *squints @ all the disasters* and B) i haven’t seen anyone use o3o in like 923849 years angie i love you

**elder price** : angie loves you too!!! >w<

**do robots have dicks?** : Oh,, I don’t think I’ve ever really used those emoticons before..? Would it make me seem more human??

**ultimate penis** : haha sure!!!! they’re v pure. fits you!!!

**do robots have dicks?** : Pure?? :3c

**do robots have dicks?** : Did I do it right? :o

**shulock homo** : you’re doing so good kiibo i’d die for you

**do robots have dicks?** : Thank you!! :D

**space jam** : YEAAA :D GANG!!! !

**panta rat** : hey kiiboy wanna see a really nice emoticon!!!!!

**do robots have dicks** : Sure…?

**panta rat** : 8====D

**ultimate penis** : _NO!!!!!_

**yknow like nya** : Sighs and chugs another energy drink

**panta rat** : it’s a cool smiley face!!! ! try it out :o)

**stabby mcgee** : Is that o in :o) for your giant clown nose

**do robots have dicks?** : 8===D??? Is that correct?

**ultimate penis** : please do n

**ultimate penis** : HNGK

**shulock homo** : NO!!!!!!!

**MOM** : Exasperated sigh

**naruto x sasuke** : oh wow. uh. yeah kiibo? never use that again?

**do robots have dicks?** : ??? okay then

**do robots have dicks?** : What about...um…

**do robots have dicks?** : OwO?? What’s this?

_Several people are typing…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it was fun writing this chapter so hope y'all enjoy it!! ! yeehaw, i guess :3


	11. ducks and strawberry milk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **i thought you were japanese** : hi im sorry to interrupt but wth are u talkin about
> 
> **panta rat** : oh yk
> 
> **i thought you were japanese** : oh thank u. so specific. thahsnksfkNFUKDSHFUIA
> 
> **i thought you were japanese** : KOKCICHI OUAM WHY IS THERE A GIANT RUBBER DUCK IN MY BATHROOm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyways this is probably years overdue but i hope u like it!!!!!!! it was v fun to write for... Reasons fahsdihisdahfiusdf

7:28 AM

**i’m lesbian** : ok i just……love girls

**i thought you were japanese** : felt that

**MOM** : ^^

**elder price** : angie agrees!!!

**naruto x sasuke** : ah yeas….girls. … .

**panta rat** : sorry cant relate :/

**panta rat** : i have my SUPER HOT BOYFRIEND!!@!@!!!

**GU4C 80Y** : ok calm down

**GU4C 80Y** : love bakubro as much as anyone else but like

**naruto x sasuke** : oh wow good taste JSFDIG

**panta rat** : HEW8AHSDFUHGDSISG DIE

**GU4C 80Y** : mwah im right uwu

**panta rat** : LIASEGJIOSDAGOI

**panta rat** : literally never say that again 

**GU4C 80Y** : whats wwong kowoki..???? <3<3

**GU4C 80Y** : u know u wuuuvvv meeeeee <3<3<3

**panta rat** : FJIUAWEFH SHUT … UR MOUTH… 

**despicableXD** : I see Kokichi and Rantaro are being gay on main again. Even after the lesbians were having a Moment.

**i’m lesbian** : solidarity!!!!!!!!! we r…… gay

**panta rat** : HELL YEAH BITCH… 

**panta rat** : btw speaking of lesbians are u ever gonna *gestures vaguely* yk...conf*ss

**i’m lesbian** : UFHSUDHF WHY WOULD U MENTION TH..AT.. HERE…

**MOM** : Oh, this is just like Ry-

**yknow like nya** : Die (don’t actually though)

**MOM** : Thank you.

**panta rat** : ANYWAYS

**panta rat** : just do it.. botha u… yall r cowards

**i thought you were japanese** : hi im sorry to interrupt but wth are u talkin about

**panta rat** : oh yk

**i thought you were japanese** : oh thank u. so specific. thahsnksfkNFUKDSHFUIA

**i thought you were japanese** : KOKCICHI OUAM WHY IS THERE A GIANT RUBBER DUCK IN MY BATHROOm

**i’m lesbian** : WHAT. THERES A WHHJSGH

**big dick is back in town** : What???

**despicableXD** : Pardon??

**shulock homo** : i just got here and . HUH\

**GU4C 80Y** : yes i love my friends shuichi saihara kirumi tojo and *looks at smudged writing on hand* kokcichi ouam…

**panta rat** : HFWEHDFU WHAT THE FUCK...IT WANST ME I SWEAR

**i thought you were japanese** : YE A SURE SURE RUSJFKDJ

**i thought you were japanese** : WHO ELSE…

**despicableXD** : I have to say. I’ve never seen Himiko speak in all caps.

**shulock homo** : is that really what matters

**yknow like nya** : Absolutely

**panta rat** : i swear it wasNT ME!!!!!!!! ! ya bois got an alibi ok

**GU4C 80Y** : can confirm yes

**GU4C 80Y** : we were watching minecraft lets plays all night in my room L:

**naruto x sasuke** L:??

**GU4C 80Y** : was a typo but were gna go with it

**big dick is back in town** : Gonta’s sorry, but what’s minecraft??

**GU4C 80Y** : _YOOO_

**naruto x sasuke** : !!!!!!!!! GONTA

**naruto x sasuke** : listen im gonna. call up chiaki later and we’re gonna play it!!!!!! they added bees a while ago ur gonna love it

**big dick is back in town** : Oh ok!!!! :D Gonta’s sure it’ll be great!!

**naruto x sasuke** : _@yknow like nya_ u can come too haheh

**big dick is back in town** : :D!!!!

**yknow like nya** : GOd I haven’t played mc in years..

**shulock homo** : ...hello??????? i love minecraft and miku too but like

**shulock homo** : gestures wildly

**shulock homo** : HIMIKO

**i’m lesbian** : finally an intellectual????

**i thought you were japanese** : i just wanted 2 wash my face smh god said f*ck himiko rights..

**i’m lesbian** : fuck is censored??!?!?!!?! ur...so cute..

**i thought you were japanese** : oh. um. thnak u..

**i’m lesbian** : !!!! :D

**i’m lesbian** : you can just use my bathroom?? ?? ? there’s no du

**i’m lesbian** : IFEWOIFSDAO HUH??!?!?!?!?!

**panta rat** : IT WASNRTM E!!!!!!!!!!

**i’m lesbian** : KOKICHI

**i’m lesbian** : wait howd u...send that..before i

**panta rat** : oh yknow

**i’m lesbian** : it’s not as bad as himiko’s probabyl but its just a lot of tiny ducks?!??

**i’m lesbian** : and they all look like her jfdhdjfdf

**ultimate penis** : god said lesbian rights?

**elder price** : angie can confirm. god really DID say lesbian rights :D

**i thought you were japanese** : um. mine looked like tenko>??

**i thought you were japanese** : im . im gonna go take a nap

**yknow like nya** : It’s like 8??

**elder price** : let himiko live!! <:3

**i’m lesbian** : YEAH!!!!!!! if she wants to take a nap at 8 am then let her 

**i thought you were japanese** : hdsfjdf thanks..

**i thought you were japanese** : ok bye

**i’m lesbian** : :’)

**shulock homo** : so uh..the ducks

**ultimate penis** : oh yeah

**ultimate penis** : i woke up at like 3 and then saw a few of u shu??? tho there was a stray rantaro one lying on the ground

**ultimate penis** : the ranty one had . pink sharpie scribbled on it too??

**naruto x sasuke** : haha

**ultimate penis** : ?

**naruto x sasuke** : oh nothing :3

**ultimate penis** : o-okay??

**shulock homo** : um. ANYWAYS _@everyone_ check your bathrooms, i guess?

**GU4C 80Y** : _@panta rat_ “o i didnt do it” HFIEHAFDIUDSF???

**GU4C 80Y** : whyd i get so many fuckign frog stickers on my mirror too???

**panta rat** : ok i may have done that but i didnt do ALL of it!!!!!!! not all the other ducks ok

**shulock homo** : ????? how did u get the TIME

**blonde little bitch** : GODDDD WHAT DO U WANT..

**blonde little bitch** : oh the kiib ducks??? thot that was just me :/

**do robots have dicks?** : I got one of you too Miu??

**stabby mcgee** : Got one of that purple idiot

**GU4C 80Y** : which one???

**stabby mcgee** : Dumb goatee

**space jam** : iTS NOT DUMB!!!!!!!

**stabby mcgee** : Oh you come on after that… of course

**space jam** : OH AND THE DUCKS?? i just woke up with one of makiroll in my bed which was. weird but hey its makiroll so!!!! :D

**stabby mcgee** : fdsjfd do you wanna die?? Perish?

**space jam** : NO dont kill me plz i just..am filled with Love

**stabby mcgee** : ...aight

**panta rat** : MAKI KEYSMAHS??!???

**stabby mcgee** : _die_

**panta rat** : :3

**yknow like nya** : Maki keysmash...I’m keeping this in my collection

**stabby mcgee** : Die but like less this time

**shulock homo** : i might do just that (PERISH) because of these DUCKS

**big dick is back in town** : OH!!!!!

**shulock homo** : ? what’s up ??

**big dick is back in town** : PLs do not die Shuichi!!! Also um

**big dick is back in town** : The ducks may be Gonta’s fault??

**big dick is back in town** : He was talking to Hiyoko and she wanted to ‘give you dummies gifts’ ?? So he helped make them!!!

**big dick is back in town** : But he didn’t know they’d be annoying,, Gonta’s sorry!!!!

**yknow like nya** : That is

**yknow like nya** : The most valid thing I’ve ever read

**shulock homo** : it’s fine gonta!!!

**shulock homo** : but like howd u...get them in our rooms hsdjg

**big dick is back in town** : Oh that was Hiyoko again!! She’s very graceful, so,,

**shulock homo** : well that makes sense

**stabby mcgee** : ..that rat??

**panta rat** : shes so fun to hang out with LJFSDJF

**blonde little bitch** : RIGHT/????

**space jam** : oh banana hair girl??

**space jam** : she’s cool!!

**space jam** : but also Mikan Deserves Better

**i’m lesbian** : YEAH2!!!!!!

**big dick is back in town** : Mikan is very sweet yes!!!

**big dick is back in town** : You all are very sweet too!!!! (Ryoma especially :D)

**yknow like nya** : Hhfuihdwf THANKS/????

**i’m lesbian** : wow gay rights

**i’m lesbian** : but also

**i’m lesbian** : i’m glad mahiru .. Exists

**i’m lesbian** : without her ,, class 77 b would be dead ahefiuf

**elder price** : angie can confirm !!! god told her :D

**i’m lesbian** : HUH

**elder price** : angie can’t change what god tells her!! :o

**i’m lesbian** : o...ok then

**i’m lesbian** : u are SO valid tho angie

**elder price** : thank you!!! :D 

**elder price** : god will keep that in mind :3

**i’m lesbian** : um

**i’m lesbian** : A ANYWAY

**blonde little bitch** : GAHAHFJDHSKF

**blonde little bitch** : YORYOSF YO IM FUCKIGNG. DYING

**ultimate penis** : HJHAHEIUHAWIUHFIUSADHF

**GU4C 80Y** : IM CRYIGN I M CRY

**do robots have dicks?** : WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO YOURSELF

**space jam** : HUH WHATS HAPPENING

**GU4C 80Y** : miu jst straight up chugged _15 cartons_ of strawberyr mi=lk

_GU4C 80Y sent WHAT_THE_FUCK.mp4_

**despicableXD** : _MIU_ oh my god?

**do robots have dicks?** : Please help Rantaro is ACTUALLY sobbing

**GU4C 80Y** : HOW CAN I NO T MIU JSUT CHUGGED 15 CARTONS !!!!!!!!! 

**ultimate penis** : this is the fuknniest fuckignh thing i’ve ever seen AHAHAA

**ultimate penis** : hhsgHELLO THIS IS IBUKI!!! HI HI HI UM ALSO YOUR FRIENDS ARE ON THE FLOOR OK BYEuhuihweiudfs

**i’m lesbian** : so god gave us a visit huh

**despicableXD** : What an enigma..

**i’m lesbian** : but also MIU ! !!!!!!!!!!

**MOM** : You’re definitely going to throw up.

**MOM** : And as a maid, I would love to help you, but as a friend, I will laugh.

**blonde little bitch** : HFUHWEIUSHFDIUHASDFUIDSFDF KIRUMI...I,M.. I FEEL SO BETRAYED

**yknow like nya** : Ok but to be fair you chugged? 15 cartons of strawberry milk??

**yknow like nya** : Why did you do that by the way.

**blonde little bitch** : NAGITO GAVE US SOME!!!!! AND RANTARO WAS LIEK “LOL CHUG IT” AND THEN I DID!!!!!!!

**blonde little bitch** : because a bitch nEVER BACKS DOWN ON A CHALLENGE

**stabby mcgee** : Ok who wants to take the challenge of punching her in the stomach and seeing what happens

**space jam** : FHREIHSFDUIAHSDFKUHASDFKS

**ultimate penis** : HFUIWEHF SDF NOOOOOO

**panta rat** : DO IT DO IT DO I

**shulock homo** : NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**despicableXD** : I have to say. This has the same energy as when Rantaro couldn’t open his thermos.

**panta rat** : AND IT POPPED 

**naruto x sasuke** : ANSD IT GOT EVERYWHERE AND IT WAS JUST MTN DEW IN THERE SFAIDFUSDFH

**GU4C 80Y** : FUIEWHAFDUSDFUSIDAF SHUT UPPP THT WSA SO LONG AGO

**yknow like nya** : To be fair it was Very Good.

**ykow like nya** : Oh and when Kaito chugged that lemon powder and went wild

**space jam** : THAT WAS HELL???? HSFAISDUF SHHH

**stabby mcgee** : I tried it and it wasn’t even that bad???

**i thought you were japanese** : hello im back from the dead and also makis right.. it wasn’t as bad as u thought it was

**i thought you were japanese** : u looked like u were gonna like explode it was funny

**i’m lesbian** : HUWEHFDASU YEAH!!!!

**do robots have dicks?** : I am and always will be So concerned for you guys.

**panta rat** : and we are and always will be absolutely fucking feral, kiiboy

**do robots have dicks?** : *exaggerated sigh* 

**do robots have dicks?** : Of course

**blonde little bitch** : YEAH YEAH SOFT MOMENT CAN SOMEONE GET ME SOME FUCKIGN WATER FHEWJSIDFSF THIS SHIT TASTES LIKE PEPTO BISMOL

**ultimate penis** : BAHAHFEWUIFHSUIDFI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY FUN FACT: that whole duck thing was a slight james vietch reference but everything else mentioned by the characters is stuff my friends actually did. except instead of strawberry milk it was dragon juice but you get the point HFSDKFHSDJK
> 
> but anyways i hope this chapter was aight!!! :D have a great day gamers
> 
> PS: please watch twisted: the untold story of a royal vizier it's on youtube and it's high quality content anyways ok bye


	12. obligatory switcheroo!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 4:21 AM
> 
> **GOD** added themselves to the chat.
> 
> **GOD** : AWWW SHIT 1 MINU7E 0FF.!!11
> 
> **GOD** changed **16 nicknames**.
> 
> **GOD** : h4ve fun with that anyway FUCKERS!!!11!
> 
> **GOD** removed themselves from the chat.
> 
> -
> 
> 6:02 AM
> 
>  **had a hardcore emo phase** : good morning guys!!!
> 
> **had a hardcore emo phase** : wait

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY HEY technically it's still halloween in my time zone? so happy halloween! but also the publication date says nov 1 so... happy no nut november, i guess? don't know if this chapter's really. comprehensible but hOPE IT READS OK SDNGJSDG
> 
> enjoy the chap!!!

3:31 AM

\-- **ALL THE RATS** \--

**blonde little bitch** : listen when it comes to robots? there is SO much homoeroticism sprinkled in the concept you would not BELIEVE it

**do robots have dicks?** : WHAT THE FUCKFHRJD _NO_

**space jam** : pardon?????? excuse?????? what ?????

**GU4C 80Y** : kii said the fuck word..

**panta rat** : LET HER SPEAK!!

**despicableXD** : Kirumi seems to be asleep, so. 

**despicableXD** : Ya boy's here to say. Go to sleep, children

**panta rat** : €}!]|!£|HDJDN

**space jam** : _ya boy_???

**space jam** : what is HAPPENING am i REAL

**despicableXD** : Shhh go to sleep you little baby

**space jam** : NOIGADSGSDIG WH

**despicableXD** : _@panta rat @blonde little bitch_ please add me to a group chat tho. I’m interested in the subject

**blonde little bitch** : LMAO RAD LETS GO

-

4:21 AM

 **GOD** added themselves to the chat.

**GOD** : AWWW SHIT 1 MINU7E 0FF.!!11

**GOD** changed **16 nicknames**.

**GOD** : h4ve fun with that anyway FUCKERS!!!11!

**GOD** removed themselves from the chat.

-

6:02 AM

 **had a hardcore emo phase** : good morning guys!!!

**had a hardcore emo phase** : wait

**has had crushes on all of the boys in this class** : PFFHAHFEHAUS WAIT

**has had crushes on all of the boys in this class** : WHAT THE FUCK. WHT HTEA THUFDAKC

**ate an entire toilet paper roll for $10** : HGIWEJDSIG OHH MY GIOD

**ate an entire toilet paper roll for $10** : SHIT dude holy fuck

**has a crush on gonta** : Hey whats all this a

**has a crush on gonta** : *Justin mcelroy voice* hey actually Fuck This

**has a crush on gonta** is offline.

**didn't know the name of a close friend for 3 years** : ohhhh boy

**has tried pole dancing and broke their leg while doing so** : well we all know who THAT is ahHFUIDSHF

**has tried pole dancing and broke their leg while doing so** : WHY THIS!!! ! OUT OF ALL THE THGNDSS/.. ALL TH.

**has written a 5k word minion slash fanfic** : What’s this all about?

**has written a 5k word minion slash fanfic** : .

**has written a 5k word minion slash fanfic** : Hm. I am having regrets

**almost burnt down a house** : I think someone has changed our usernames to secrets? Or something of the sort.

**almost burnt down a house** : This Is Unsavory but. It would be a good idea to change our usernames back if we figured it out, right?

**didn't know the name of a close friend for 3 years** : itd expose ppl but yea good idea

**really likes flowers** : ...so

**really likes flowers** : _@has written a 5k word minion slash fanfic_ hi Korekiyo

**has written a 5k word minion slash fanfic** : FUCK you Maki

**has written a 5k word minion slash fanfic** changed their nickname to **despicableXD**.

**really likes flowers** changed their nickname to **stabby mcgee**.

**put a bee in their mouth once** : well that was quick!

**has tried pole dancing and broke their leg while doing so** : KOREKIYo?????” YOU DID WHAT

**has tried pole dancing and broke their leg while doing so** : and AWWW @ makiroll

**stabby mcgee** : die

**didn't know the name of a close friend for 3 years** : DJWEIUFUIDFIASDF KOREKIYO…

**has eaten chapstick** : WOW!! i did NOT expect that from korekiyo of all people!! :0

**used to wear fedoras unironically** : k...kiyo…

**despicableXD** : Maki stated that she would give me 25 dollars. So I did it.

**stabby mcgee** : It was surprisingly well written tbh

**put a bee in their mouth once** : also what ship

**despicableXD** : Stuart/Bob

**put a bee in their mouth once** : nicee send me a link

**despicableXD** : I physically recoiled but okay

**cosplays miku when they're alone** : Regrettably, I know Tsumugi when I see her. I have a question: why?????????

**didn't know the name of a close friend for 3 years** : regrettably… felt that

**ate an entire toilet paper roll for $10** : HHAHAHAHAHAJFADF

**put a bee in their mouth** : WHAT

**put a bee in their mouth** : i was gonna do a dramatic reveal at the end. but alas. sigh

**put a bee in their mouth** changed their name to **naruto x sasuke**.

**didn’t know the name of a close friend for 3 years** : of course. im not surprised in the slightest.

**has had crushes on all of the boys in this class** : LMAOOO WHAT

**has a pet frog in their room** : tsu i love u but what the FUCK!!!!!

**has a pet frog in their room** : some of these usernames !!!!! wow ok

**naruto x sasuke** : listen!!!! ! i just. i thought about that one text post and then i put a bee in a fridge and then put it In My Mouth!!!!!

**cosplays miku when they're alone** : I am so, so disappointed but not surprised at all

**didn’t know the name of a close friend for 3 years** : ure so fucking dumb… im crygn

**has had crushes on all of the boys in this class** : i hope u got stung im sobbingsjdhgjhgd

**naruto x sasuke** : :pensive: i did..

**naruto x sasuke** : it was worth it tho

**cosplays miku when they're alone** : HOW??

**has had crushes on all of the boys in this class** : BITCH !!!!!! “IT WAS WORTH IT” IOMFHIUAEFIUAFH

**believed the earth was flat** : D: WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO A BEE!!!!!

**naruto x sasuke** : :( i’m sorry!!!!

**listens to kidzbop unironically** : i might be kinda dumb but thats gonta babey!!

**believed the earth was flat** : You’re right but!! Why are the names so weird? :0

**listens to kidzbop unironically** : just um. hang on

**listens to kidzbop unironically** : actually i dont have the willpower 2 change ur thing back to what it was.. so um

**listens to kidzbop unironically** changed **believed the earth was flat** ’s nickname to **sweet bug boy**.

**listens to kidzbop unironically** : ..yea

**has had crushes on all of the boys in this class** : sorry gonta WHAT

**has had crushes on all of the boys in this class** : im fuckign CACKLING thank you guys so muhc

**despicableXD** : Oh No…

**almost burnt down a house** : Oh. That is. Hm. 

**almost burnt down a house** : Gonta, we love you, but What.

**has had crushes on all of the boys in this class** : im prolly gonna change his nickname back later if i remember yk. lol

**listens to kidzbop unironically** : >:(

**had a hardcore emo phase** : that is Unsavory!!!!!! gonta, buddy,,,

**sweet bug boy** : i!!!!! Don’t believe it anymore I promise!!!!!!

**didn’t know the name of a close friend for 3 years** : woa gonta pulled out the “i”s… real serious tnight..

**sweet bug boy** : Gonta knows the earth is shaped like a fidget spinner !!

**sweet bug boy** : (joke)

**used to wear fedoras unironically** : god i nearly had a stroke before i saw the (joke)

**has a pet frog in their room** : oh my GOD GEIUWHGUIDHGIU GONTA… YOU SCARED ME SO BAD

**had a hardcore emo phase** : aRUIFEWISDFHAIDUUAFJADF GONTA…

**listens to kidzbop unironically** : hes RIGht..!!!!!

**had a hardcore emo phase** : NOO SJGSDGG

**sweet bug boy** : Haha sorry!! ^^;; Gonta thought it might be funny

**has had crushes on all of the boys in this class** : TRUST ME it was hysterical

**has tried pole dancing and broke their leg while doing so** : TWAS FUNNY GONTA!!!!!!!!!!! UR DOING OS GOOD

**sweet bug boy** : :) thank you!

**had a hardcore emo phase** : and um!

**had a hardcore emo phase** : about gonta should we uh

**had a hardcore emo phase** : vaguely gestures 2 the offline elephant in the room..

**didn’t know the name of a close friend for 3 years** : i think he might kill us

**sweet bug boy** : ???

**naruto x sasuke** : its for the greater good…???

**listens to kidzbop unironically** : mm...he still might kick us in2 the sun tho…

**had a hardcore emo phase** : who wants 2 risk it

**naruto x sasuke** : eh he’ll kill me eventually

**naruto x sasuke** changed **has a crush on gonta** ’s nickname to **yknow like nya**.

**sweet bug boy** : /????!!?!!? HUH

**didn’t know the name of a close friend for 3 years** : lol go get im big guy

**didn’t know the name of a close friend for 3 years** : (please we r dying just Get TOgethtererfjkdsha)

**has eaten chapstick** : haha good luck surviving tsumugi!! :D good luck 2 gonta too -w-

**used to wear fedoras unironically** : yea gdisugdsgjd

**listens to kidzbop unironically** : nn yea good luck

**sweet bug boy** : AH ok!!!!

**sweet bug boy** is offline.

**has a pet frog in their room** : ok i would recognize that typing style anywhere!!!!! _@listens to kidzbop unironically_ hi himiko!!! :D <3<3

**listens to kidzbop unironically** : ..hi tenko <3

**naruto x sasuke** : <3?????? :O

**has had crushes on all of the boys in this class** : oh FUCK? SHIT? <3?????

**listens to kidzbop unironically** : hmh,h.. sfdhfs

**has eaten chapstick** : awww that’s so sweet!!!!

**has tried pole dancing and broke their leg while doing so** : OH??? NICE!!!!!

**listens to kidzbop unironically** changed their nickname to **i thought you were japanese**.

**has a pet frog in their room** changed their nickname to **i’m lesbian**.

**i’m lesbian** : her name’s bonk!!!!!

**i’m lesbian** : she’s FANTASTIC!!!! 

**had a hardcore emo phase** : i love her?

**almost burnt down a house** : I’ve seen her and wanted to say something, but I love her.

**used to wear fedoras unironically** : i love her???????

**has had crushes on all of the boys in this class** : and lesbians finally got together.. . lets goooo like 3 more to GO

**has had crushes on all of the boys in this class** : also… kidzbop?? really?

**i thought you were japanese** : shhhh i think its ok..

**has tried pole dancing and broke their leg while doing so** : ???? wait @ crushes dude i get gonta/ryoma n kii/roomba but who else??? 

**had a hardcore emo phase** : KAITO??????? IS THAT YOU

**has eaten chapstick** : awww you got to it before me!

**has tried pole dancing and broke their leg while doing so** : HOW DID YOU GET THAT RI

**has tried pole dancing and broke their leg while doing so** : I MEAN. im not kaito what r you TALKINMG about

**ate an entire toilet paper roll for $10** : HGHSDGNGGNGMGG HAHAHAHAHA HOLY SHIIITTTTT

**almost burnt down a house** : Wow. I’m sorry, Kaito, but you’re not fooling anyone

**has had crushes on all of the boys in this class** : YOURE SO DUMB SFDUADFIASDF

**has tried pole dancing and broke their leg while doing so** : OKAY UH. M. MIU

**has had crushes on all of the boys in this class** : im crying REAL TEARS right now oh my god. miu woudl fucking NEVER!!!!!

**has tried pole dancing and broke their leg while doing so** : OH FUCK YOU SGDNDJG

**has had crushes on all of the boys in this class** changed **has tried pole dancing and broke their leg while doing so** ’s nickname to **space jam**.

**used to wear fedoras unironically** : oh my god???

**space jam** : i HATE THIS GSUDGNGJDGN FUCK OYU

**stabby mcgee** : Sweet jesus

**stabby mcgee** : You told me you broke it because you were being dumb on a scooter

**space jam** : i mean that too but.

**space jam** : yknow// / ;w;

**space jam** : ALSO!!!! ! !! srsly what did you guys mean by 3 more????

**stabby mcgee** : You are..so dumb 

**has had crushes on all of the boys in this class** : lol we all know u’re a morosexual tho makirolllll!!!!!

**stabby mcgee** : Hey Kokichi I’ll kill you

**space jam** : oh my god???? you go makiroll :D

**stabby mcgee** : hhhksh// thanks? I guess?

**space jam** : :D

**has had crushes on all of the boys in this class** : SHUT UP, DTHUSDGAWE SHTU STUTSTGP SUTU HUP PERISH PERISH ERUSHFHDSGF

**stabby mcgee** changed **has had crushes on all of the boys in this class** ’s nickname to **panta rat**.

**panta rat** : SHUT UP!!!!!! NO

**panta rat** : LETS FOCUS ON HOW KAITO LITERALLY BROKE HIS LEG FROM POLE DANCING?????

**cosplays miku when they're alone** : Wait… _every_ boy?

**ate an entire toilet paper roll for $10** : YEA I CAN CONFIRM LMAOOO

**panta rat** : HGNSDGUG,.. YES _EVERY BOY_

**has eaten chapstick** : honestly not surprised from either of these!! :D

**has eaten chapstick** : they DO seem like stuff you guys would do hehe c:

**almost burnt down a house** : I’m not surprised in the slightest either.

**didn't know the name of a close friend for 3 years** : can confirm @ miku

**cosplays miku when they're alone** : Oh, wow!!

**panta rat** : oph my god.? literally PERISH all of u..

**used to wear fedoras unironically** : um...just to save kokichi

**used to wear fedoras unironically** : based on the typing styles i’m guessing chapstick is angie and burnt house is kirumi?

**panta rat** : THANKS. LOVE U

**didn’t know the name of a close friend for 3 years** : JGSDG

**panta rat** : shut the hell ur MOUTH

**almost burnt down a house** : ..ah

**almost burnt down a house** : I suppose I should have changed my typing, huh?

**almost burnt down a house** : I’ll take the defeat, though

**almost burnt down a house** changed their name to **MAID**.

**MAID** : Changed my nickname slightly...simply because I like it better.

**had a hardcore emo phase** : GOD you are so valid!

**cosplays miku when they’re alone** : Not what I would have expected from Kirumi!! But everyone makes mistakes :)

**has eaten chapstick** : awww youre right! angie even tried using “i”.... oh well!

**has eaten chapstick** changed their nickname to elder price.

**elder price** : hmm! kirumi! :o angie has a question:: how?

**MAID** : Ahh…

**MAID** : I was just trying to torch meringue, but unfortunately, I didn’t get much sleep the night before..

**MAID** : And well, it got caught on fire :’)

**despicableXD** : Hm. I believe we need to make sure you’re taking care of yourself.

**had a hardcore emo phase** : ^^^^!!!!

**used to wear fedoras unironically** : yeah!

**i’m lesbian** : BIG AGREEEE!!!!

**MAID** : Ahhh thank you :”)

**panta rat** : like FAT agree but important q. angie. how much chapstick was it

**elder price** : um...i think it was like 2 n a half tubes! (tubes??) :o

**panta rat** : OH/???

**space jam** : HAHA GJEWOGHDISAUG HOLY SHIT..

**i’m lesbian** : bonk says: WHY

**elder price** : God told me to!!!

**elder price** : :3

**ate an entire toilet paper roll for $10** : the amount of faith u have… Scares me ang

**elder price** : :D angie’s glad! 

**ate an entire toilet paper roll for $10** : ,...howd it taste  
 **elder price** : it was alright! :> kinda funky to chew

**ate an entire toilet paper roll for $10** : will keep that in mind thank u for ur wise advice

**MAID** : Hey I have a question?

**MAID** : Pardon my French, but what the _fuck_ is happening?

**space jam** : WOAH

**used to wear fedoras unironically** : wow that was. Unexpected

**didn’t know the name of a close friend for 3 years** : oh my agod?????????? kIRUMIHENRURERERJ

**panta rat** : KIRUMI POPPED OFF HAHAHSJGKSH

**cosplays miku when they're alone** : OH WOW??!?!?

**cosplays miku when they’re alone** : Also, am I the only one who thinks that toilet paper person could be Miu? Since. Y’know...strawberry milk?

**ate an entire toilet paper roll for $10** : AWWW SHIT

**ate an entire toilet paper roll for $10** : goodddddd cmon!!!!

**ate an entire toilet paper roll for $10** changed their name to **blonde little bitch**.

**blonde little bitch** : ughhhh

**had a hardcore emo phase** : literally HOW are you not dead by now???? is your immune system like OKAY>???

**blonde little bitch** : I MEAN IT WAS $10????

**panta rat** : EXACTLY WTF THATS SO LITTLE GNSDIGDIGHSGD

**space jam** : MIU.. you could do SO much better oh mygod

**blonde little bitch** : 10 bucks is 10 bucks bitch!!!!! 

**stabby mcgee** : WHY would you eat the entire thing. WHY

**MAID** : Have you _ever_ went to a hospital, Miu?

**i thought you were japanese** : i think..miu would be the person with the wacky zany reddit story about how they got a buzz lightyear figurine stuck in their ass..

**blonde little bitch** : OSDGJAUISDGSIDUGSDIUGHAIDUGHSADGSDG

**i’m lesbian** : IM CRYING GO OFF HIMIKO!!!!! <3 DJGDGHJDNGJSADG

**despicableXD** : After being with you for so long, I can agree to that.

**panta rat** : FUCCKCKKK HIMIKO POPPED OFF IM..

**blonde little bitch** : whos to say i havent already done that ;)

**space jam** : OOOKAY CHANGE OF SUBJECT WHOS LEFT

**used to wear fedoras unironically** : hi

**cosplays miku when they're alone** : Here!

**didn't know the name of a close friend for 3 years** : sighs deeply hellooo

**had a hardcore emo phase** : heyyy

**space jam** : mm that’s it???

**panta rat** : and we havent gottennnnn

**panta rat** : rantaro, kaede, kiiboy, n shuichi!

**stabby mcgee** : Literally any of them could be Shuichi

**used to wear fedoras unironically** : HEY

**used to wear fedoras unironically** : oh god dammit

**stabby mcgee** : I...did not think it would be that easy

**elder price** : good job shuichi! :3

**used to wear fedoras unironically** changed their name to **shulock homo**.

**shulock homo** : ughghhh

**shulock homo** : at least they didn’t include the Worst Part..

**panta rat** : what? that you were basically one of those Nice Guys???

**shulock homo** : NNPNONONONONONONO

**shulock homo** : im. gwgiusduigsdg time to go lay on the ground and sleep for 100 years

**didn’t know the name of a close friend for 3 years** : felt that ill join u

**i’m lesbian** : it’s ok shuichi!!! you’re far better than those degenerates now!!! 

**shulock homo** : thanks tenko i really appreciate the validation

**shulock homo** : that looks so sarcastic but its not!

**MAID** : So I guess this is why you weren’t speaking much?

**shulock homo** : i mean… ult detective here. i think you guys wouldve noticed idk dhsgjsdg

**had a hardcore emo phase** : you think we’re smart? HAHA

**blonde little bitch** : ^^

**shulock homo** : yea but still hsgdgj

**space jam** : LMAOOO i can imagine fedora!shuichi so easily i love it!!!!!!

**stabby mcgee** : Cursed NiceGuy!Shuichi timeline..

**shulock homo** : HISDHFISDF… please can we figure out everyone else

**space jam** : of course sidekick!!!

**despicableXD** : Hmmmmm…

**despicableXD** : Well, being the friend, I should know that “didn’t know the name of a close friend for 3 years” is Rantaro.

**didn’t know the name of a close friend for 3 years** : HHGNGDNGJGG

**didn’t know the name of a close friend for 3 years** : IM STILL SO SRORY BBOUT THAT KORK OH YM GOD

**panta rat** : HOLY SHIT HGAHHAHAHAHA

**naruto x sasuke** : omg

**MAID** : Oh, wow.

**i’m lesbian** : is that why you use nicknames for all of us...what’s my name rantaro!!!!

**didn’t know the name of a close friend for 3 years** : ITS TENKO ITS TENKO CHABASHIRA JGHDSJGSDG IT WAS ONE TIME…

**didn’t know the name of a close friend for 3 years** changed their name to **GU4C 80Y**.

**despicableXD** : “one time” It was 3 years, Rantaro.

**GU4C 80Y** : im never gonna forget ur name again i swear

**despicableXD** : If you do, I’ll personally kill you. /s

**GU4C 80Y** : oh god oh f

**i’m lesbian** : WAIT!!

**i’m lesbian** : tenko’s supposed to believe that either kiibo or kaede had a hardcore emo phase?

**shulock homo** : ...i’m sorry, kaede, but.

**shulock homo** : ‘cosplays miku’ can only be kiibo, since he types. Y’know like that.

**shulock homo** : so uh

**had a hardcore emo phase** : HHGSDGNSJDG NOO…

**had a hardcore emo phase** : aaaaaa

**had a hardcore emo phase** changed their name to **ultimate penis**.

**cosplays miku when they’re alone** : Ahh...well, I’m not very ashamed! Miku is very very good :)

**panta rat** changed **cosplays miku when they’re alone** ’s name to **do robots have dicks?**.

**do robots have dicks >**: OH CMON!!

**blonde little bitch** : wait that’s the cutest shit ever actually????

**do robots have dicks?** : OH!!! Well, thank you, Miu!!

**naruto x sasuke** : a real intellectual… miku’s baby

**do robots have dicks?** : Absolutely!

**GU4C 80Y** : s..so kaede

**ultimate penis** : DEEP SIGH it was when i was like 12

**ultimate penis** : Bach and Debussy slap and all but i listened to MCR and yea 

**ultimate penis** : slight regret but they still have some bangers

**GU4C 80Y** : god that is SO valid

**shulock homo** : i agree ahah;;

**ultimate penis** : thanks HGSDHIGUD

**panta rat** : the two people with the past emo phases say /s

**shulock homo** : HFUEWIHFDUISHFD

**GU4C 80Y** : i mean yea

**MAID** : Ah, I have a question again. No swearing involved.

**MAID** : Who do you think changed the nicknames in the first place?

**shulock homo** : oh i’ll ask kyoko..!! gimme a second 

**despicableXD** : Well, as Shuichi is doing that

**despicableXD** : I’ve learned...quite a lot about you during this

**space jam** : YEA!!!!

**space jam** : learned makiroll likes flowers hehe

**stabby mcgee** : Uhhh..die???

**space jam** : HAHA it’s cute!!! :D don’t kill me tho lolol;;;

**stabby mcgee** : ugh fine

**GU4C 80Y** : another day of kaito barely being left alive

**i thought you were japanese** : yeah basically

**naruto x sasuke** : i guess we’re more idiotic than we thought haha;;

**do robots have dicks?** : Yeah, I STRONGLY agree dsjhgng

**shulock homo** : back! and agree

**shulock homo** : i showed her the first messages and she knew immediately from the typing it was junko..

**naruto x sasuke** : oh yeah that’s no surprise. she always comes back

**do robots have dicks?** : ?????? 

**naruto x sasuke** : wink

**GU4C 80Y** : ughghhh

**elder price** : and here we see rantaro and kiibo wildly disapproving of tsumugi! 

**shulock homo** : ‘Kyoko Kirigiri: I asked for an apology, but she just sent an OWO speak version of the Navy Seals Copypasta.

Kyoko Kirigiri: So, on my behalf, I apologize;;’

**GU4C 80Y** : mood

**i’m lesbian** : miss kirigiri is a blessing!!!! :D

**elder price** : tell us we all said thank you!!! :3c

**GU4C 80Y** : anyways

**GU4C 80Y** : that was Tiring but

**GU4C 80Y** : y’all ever finish the robo-homoeroticism convo?

**MAID** : Oh my god.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOO that took...a wildly long time for me to write. sorry about that!!! mostly because of my focus on danganronpa oc's and like. a million musicals but!!!!! glad i finally pumped it out,....phew
> 
> hope y'all liked it! have a rad day! <3333


	13. this ones for the gays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which some long deserved confessions happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY !!! i didn’t write in a tenmiko getting-together so it’s in this chapter too? i was originally gonna put tenmiko in a separate fic along w kiiruma + kaimaki (which is part of why this ch took SO DAMN LONG) but here we are!!!!! i don't like how some of this turned out but its prolly just cuz ive read it so much so fuck it last update of the year!!!!!!!!!!! hope u enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> also if you don't like goshi OR tenmiko i'm so sorry for this chapter JFDHSDGHJ

_ AGHHH!! When will this class end? C’mon, c’mon, c’mon… _

Tenko stared off into space, anxiously bouncing her leg. Her mind was going a mile a minute, thinking about anything but school. If you knew the disaster lesbian for even a second, you would probably know what--or who--she had her mind on.

Himiko.

She’d been pining after the magician for the longest time, and she had a plan to finally just  _ tell her _ , like everyone had told her to a million times. Unsurprisingly, Rantaro was the one to help her with a plan. That boy was one for helping with romance, as much of a disaster as he was.

\-- **Tenko Chabashira** to  **Rantaro Amami** \--

**Tenko Chabashira** : AACHFJGK RANTAROOO HELP

**Rantaro Amami** : huh

  
**Rantaro Amami** : surprised to see u show up in dms tenk. whats up

**Tenko Chabashira** : i really really wanna tell himiko about how much i like her!!!!!!! but like what if she doesnt get the hint :( help what do

**Rantaro Amami** : 1. FUCKING FINALLY WASNDFUSDIF

**Rantaro Amami** : 2. what if uhh you invite her over to ur room? say its for. idk. something school related?

**Rantaro Amami** : and then ykno confess. yeehaw?

**Tenko Chabashira** : ... 

**Tenko Chabashira** : surprisingly good idea? um. how did you even come up with that so fast

**Rantaro Amami** : haha…;;;

**Tenko Chabashira** : BUT hwat if i panic or chicken out!!! i know i will!!!!!

**Rantaro Amami** : u’ll be fine trust me

**Rantaro Amami** : no way u could be as bad as koki and literally run away to kaede HNFSDFAIUF

**Tenko Chabashira** : ...ok yeah 

**Rantaro Amami** : real shit tho u’ll be ok. it’ll be fine.

**Tenko Chabashira** : thanks rantaro ;_;

**Rantaro Amami** : :thumbsup: np~

  
  


Tenko let out a sigh and scanned the room for a clock.

_ This class ends at 9:45, right? So-- _

Ah! There it was.

9:40.

She internally groaned.

_ C’mon Tenko, you can do it. It’s only 5 minutes! You’ll be fine, it’s not so long! _

It was very, very long.

See, when you actually want time to go by, it never does, so Tenko felt like this 5 minutes was about 10 years.

_ Thanks, Angie’s god, _ she thought bitterly.

1 minute.

She stared at the whiteboard, trying to actually pay attention. It was to no avail, though. All the numbers and symbols that had been written on there were just kind of...blurry. Maybe she could ask Himiko to study? She’d buy it, right?

2 minutes.

Her eyes wandered across the room, eventually finding Himiko. She sighed again, but this time, filled with yearning. She wanted to do so much with her! She just wanted to go on cute dates and do dumb stuff and cuddle and just…! Agh! She just wanted to give Himiko all the love in the world.

3 minutes.

She very obviously blushed. Eugh, that was so cheesy. Rantaro, who sat right next to her, saw this and stifled a laugh.

She stuck out her tongue at him.

4 minutes.

The Neo Aikido Master looked back at the clock. She watched the seconds slowly tick their way by, and she started to tap her pencil against the desk.

...Halfway there...aaand…

5 minutes, baby!

“Himiko!” she yelled as the bell rang. A few students gave her a glance, but they moved right on with their day.

Himiko flinched as she picked up her books. “Ehh..? What?”

“Er--uh--” Tenko started. She saw Rantaro give her a thumbs up from the corner of her eye. She took a deep breath. “D-Do you wanna maybe come over to Tenko’s dorm and study? ‘Cause, like, Te-I didn’t get this class at all, so uh...y’know! Like...uhh…” ...Ah, she was rambling again, right? Ahh, you idiot!!

“S-Sorry,” Tenko stammered, “You don’t have to-”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Huh?”

Himiko cracked a small smile. “Yeah, I’ll study with you. It’s okay with me.”

“Oh!” Tenko grinned. “Great! Cool!  _ Coolcoolcool _ ! Uh, seeya!”

Himiko grinned shakily as she made her way toward the door. Tenko could have sworn she saw a light dusting of pink on the girl’s face, but maybe that was just her own imagination. Himiko gave her a little wave.

_ She’s so cute. _

“Seeya, Tenko.” 

Tenko was...vibrating with giddiness. When Himiko left the room, she yelled.

“AAAAA!! TENKO’S SO HAPPY!”

Her teacher spoke up, mildly bothered. “Ah, Tenko--”

“Tenko knows! Indoor voice! Sorry, teach!”

Rantaro was still hanging back near the door, and he punched her lightly in the arm, a grin on his face.

“Hell yeah, Tenko. Nice.”

She giggled, still elated. “Thanks, Rantaro. You’re now up there in the ranks of boys, you know!”

  
“And I wasn’t before?” he was amused.

“Be grateful, degenerate!” 

-=-

“Aahh, where is he?”

  
Gonta groaned. He could not, for the life of him, find Ryoma anywhere. He’d looked in his room and lab, but he wasn’t there. He was getting a little annoyed with this, honestly. He didn’t get why Ryoma wanted to run away and escape. Maybe that ‘secret’ was a lie…? It was Junko who made them, after all...ah, now wasn’t the time for doubt! He was sure it wasn’t a lie, especially by the way that Ryoma had reacted.

He walked around a little longer, half-defeated. He’d even tried calling out the other boy’s name, but to no avail. He would find him eventually! It would just...take a while. Ryoma couldn’t run away forever, that’s for sure.

After some walking and thinking, he saw everyone’s favorite maid, walking out of the dorms with a basket of laundry in her arms.

“Ah, Kirumi!” he called out with a little wave and a smile.

“Yes, Gonta? Is there anything I can do for you?” she asked, kind and prim and proper as ever. 

_ How did she stay like that all the time _ , Gonta wondered.  _ I should ask her for tips with manners some time...but first, Ryoma! _

“Well…” he sighed, frustrated. “Gonta’s been trying to find Ryoma for a while now, but he can’t. He’s gone to Ryoma’s dorm and lab, but he can’t find him anywhere. Have you seen him at all?”

“Ah, well, I haven’t seen him around, but--” she hummed. “--I suppose you could check around out here some more? Maybe at the main gate or side of the school? Watch out for stray cats. If I recall correctly, he likes to hang out around those.”

“Oh, yes! You’re right!” he replied, a smile growing back on his face. He thought that the fact Ryoma liked cats was...really cute, as much as he denied it.

“I wish I could help, but,” she nodded to the basket. “You see.”

“It’s okay! Gonta will find him! Thank you!”

Kirumi curtsied. Well, as much as she could curtsy with a basket of laundry in her hands, anyway. “Good luck.” 

And then she walked away, laundry in hands and a secret smile on her face.

He turned back around, feeling a little more refreshed.

It had been a good few minutes before he’d found something. A fluffy white cat...Maybe Ryoma would be nearby, too! It was a win-win situation, really.

“Hi there, lil kitty!” he sat down near it and smiled. He put his hand out near it for it to sniff. When it moved, his hand hovered over it, wondering if he would hurt it. He’d nearly hurt Kokichi just from a hug, though it wasn’t clear if that was because Gonta was so strong or Kokichi was just a twig.

...Anyways, let’s get back on track.

Gonta softly pet it as best he could, sighing as it purred. “Mmm, Gonta’s worried, kitty. Have you maybe seen my friend Ryoma? He’s small...and he usually wears dark colors? Blue and black! And--”

He ranted about his crush for a little while to the little ball of fluff, its blue eyes focused on a dandelion on the ground. Gonta talked about how he admired him, and how he was sad that he couldn’t see how great he was.

He sighed. “Gonta just thinks he’s wonderful, that’s all.”

Then it meowed, stretching out its front paws.

_ Look behind you _ , it seemed to say. Gonta did just that, and--

“Ah, Ryoma!”

  
He saw the boy freeze for a split second. But with his weirdly godlike speed, he was off again in a dark blue flash.

  
Gonta resisted the urge to groan.

-=-

It was time for lunch, and Himiko was flustered.

“She invited me to her room…” Himiko said, adjusting the brim of her hat. “Does that mean anything? I mean, anyone would want a cute girl in their room, but...” she drifted off.

After the whole invitation from Tenko happened, Himiko was...a little bit of a mess. Sure, Tenko had invited her to a bunch of places before, but this was one of the rare times that Himiko said yes. Maybe it was because the other girl just looked so  _ nervous  _ about it…Rantaro even had to give her a thumbs up.

What did it  _ mean _ ?

Tenko also looked very, very cute, but Himiko wouldn’t admit that. She was exactly like that one American comedian’s quote. She’d keep all her feelings deep in her heart, and then one day she’d die. Something like that. 

“Well, duhhh! She’s into you, Himiko!” Angie grinned while grabbing a lunch tray and a bowl of miso soup. “God’s always planned it this way, you know!”

Himiko felt her face warm up. Everyone had always said stuff like that...Stuff like “Tenko obviously has a crush on you.” Himiko never really got  _ why _ , though. Tenko treated all the girls with the same fervor and sweetness as she did with Himiko, right?

Yeah! Totally! It wasn’t like Tenko had the biggest heart eyes for Himiko, and Himiko  _ definitely  _ never noticed. And Himiko most certainly did not panickedly text Angie about it.

...What was she talking about again?

Right.

“Eh?” she tilted her head. She, too, grabbed a lunch tray and miso soup. “Whaddya mean? What has your god...said?”

“Oh, you know!” she said. She was always cryptic like that.

A beat of silence.

“...Angie. Come on.”

  
“Awww, okay!” Angie giggled. “Well, let’s just say God’s always prepared for you and Tenko to be together! He says it would be reaaalllly cute!”

Himiko suppressed a smile. “I think that’s just  _ your  _ opinion, Angie…”

The other girl stuck her tongue out at her.

“Whaaat? What are you talking about? Those were definitely God’s words!” the artist pointed across the line. “Seeee? Listen!”

Himiko followed her gaze, trying to see where Angie had pointed at.

Ah, of course. Tenko.

“Ahhhh, Kaedeee! What do I dooo? She’s so cute! I-I’m gonna die.” She was beet red.

“Pffft, Tenko, you’ll be fine!” Kaede gave her a reassuring smile. “Besides, didn’t Rantaro already give you advice?”

“He  _ told you _ ?” Tenko groaned. “That dumb boy...aghh...but seriously! How do I tell her? Sh--”

“God was right!” Angie said, triumphant. Himiko’s attention snapped back to her.

“Sh-She could be talking about anyone, you know…” She knew the chances of that were slim, but still.

“Nyahaha! You know, Himiko…” Angie started, putting her finger up. “Angie thinks that you’re lying to yourself!”

“Nnn...shut up…”

...But, well, Angie wasn’t completely wrong. The girl knew her too well, and it was, admittedly, a little unnerving. She knew  _ everyone  _ too well. 

“Well, don’t be scared~!” The both of them started to walk over to their usual spots. “You’ll be fine! Angie’ll even pray for you, okay?”

“Thanks,” she muttered. “Tell your god I said hi, or something. Iunno.”

Angie grinned and sat down.

“Let’s not forget you sit across from Tenko!” she whispered, smile audible. 

Then, the hyper girl turned the opposite direction and started talking to Korekiyo, leaving Himiko and Tenko by themselves.

Cue the lesbian flustering.

“Um, so…” Himiko said, trying to think of something to talk about.

Ahh, she was terrible at this stuff! Just...spit something out, Himiko! Say something to her!!

...Instead of saying anything, she simply spaced out, having an internal crisis.

_ Angie’s wrong...Tenko can’t like you back… No way. She-- _

  
“Himiko? You okay?” Tenko asked, snapping the shorter girl out of her thoughts.

“Huh? Uh, yeah. Was just. Thinking of somethin’,” she stammered out.

It was comforting, having someone to keep her in check.

“Well, don’t be afraid to say it if you wanna!” 

Himiko hoped the blush on her face didn’t show much, thinking of what would happen if she straight up told Tenko about what she was thinking. “Umm, hard pass from me…A-Anyways. That study session thing…?”

Frankly, she thought she just made it worse. But hey, it was something besides Himiko’s crushing doubts, so that was good.

“Right! Yeah! Tenko was just thinking about that!” she put her head on her hand. “So, um...it’s a Friday, right? What if we have a sleepover while we’re at it!”   
  


Himiko nearly choked on her soup.

_ Oh my god? _

“Nnnnn...yeah. Sure,” she said, pulling down her hat. 

Tenko’s eyes lit up. She beamed.

  
“Yay!! It’s a date, then!”

Yeah, she was definitely going to kill Himiko one day.

-=-

“Ewww, you’re so gross, Miu!” Kokichi dramatically said, far louder than anyone needed to be talking. “No one wants to hear about how much you and Kiiboy are fucking!”

“H-Hey!” she shivered. Ugh. “That’s n-not even what I was talking about, dipshit!”

“You know I  _ haaate  _ liars, IruMiu!” he grinned. Miu made a disgusted face at that nickname. He cleared his throat, cupped his hands around his mouth, and yelled as loud as he could. “HEY KIIBOYYYY! Miu wants to get it on with you! If only you could get it u--”

Miu slapped a hand over his mouth.

“ _ Shut up! _ Oohhhh my god. I--” she groaned, giving up, and flipped off Kokichi. “Fuck y--”

“Hello?”

Miu paused. She slowly turned around. “O-Oh, hi Kiibo! How’s it goin’?”

Kokichi had to stop himself from laughing. God, she was such a bad liar.

“I...I heard my name being c--”

“Kiiboy! Hey, did you hear that Miu wants to  _ get it on _ with you?” Kokichi made that inappropriate gesture with his hands.

The roboy flushed. “What are you even--o-okay then?”

Miu groaned and facepalmed, trying to hide the  _ totally not obvious  _ blush on her face.

“Eugh, let’s just go!” the inventor then dragged off the mildly confused robot.

Kokichi cackled.

“Maaan, it’s so fun to make fun of them,” he muttered to himself with a satisfied smile. “Really gross, though. They’re suuuuch bottoms, jeez.”

He put his hands behind his head and kept wandering around the school grounds, trying to find someone else to go mess with. Ooh, maybe he could go mess around with Hiyoko! She always had the best pranks. Wait! Maybe Gonta?

Kokichi looked around as he walked, seeing if he could find any sight of that oblivious bug boy.

_ Listen, if him and Ryoma aren’t together already, I’m gonna go apeshit.  _

The Panta-loving boy went on, even yelling out the big guy’s name a few times. He failed, though, since that dumb dude wasn’t anywhere.

“Aww, damn.” he sighed.

_ I guess I’ll just-- _

“Oh, hey.” A familiar deep voice greeted him just as he was going past the back wall of the school. Kokichi barely tried to hide a smile. He turned and saw Ryoma chewing on one of his ever beloved candy cigarettes.

Well, close enough, right?

“Heyyy, catboy!” he said with a grin, and got replied to with Ryoma’s mildly terrifying glare at that nickname. Another shitty nickname on the ever growing list that Kokichi kept in his mind.

“Awww, come on! Don’t be such a bummer,” he sat himself down next to the shorter boy. “Soooo…”

“What is it,” Ryoma...well, said. It sounded more like a rough statement than a question.

Kokichi puffed up his cheeks. So, Ryoma and Gonta  _ haven’t _ gotten together yet, huh? If they did, Ryoma’d be all happy and there’d be all those anime sparkles and roses.

...Seriously, Tsumugi?

“So, like,” he twirled a lock of his hair. “You know, tree trunk Gonta’s waitin’ for ya! Like, hang on--” he looked right around the corner, and hey! Look who it was. The entomologist and a cat. He turned back to Ryoma. “He’s literally right there.”

Ryoma huffed. “Yeah, but--”

Kokichi groaned, resisting the urge to throw Ryoma like a shot put ball in Gonta’s direction. God, why were so many people from his class so  _ oblivious _ ?

Kaede would probably laugh hearing that from Kokichi of all people.

“ _ ‘Yeah, but’, _ ” he mocked, waving his hands around. He scowled. “Jesus! Just go confess to him, dumbass. For someone who acts so cool, you’re really dense.”

“He probably hates me or something.” Ryoma sighed, pulling down his hat. “All I know is I don’t deserve someone like him.”

Kokichi twitched. He didn’t want to take any of that self-deprecating shit from any of his friends, as much as he teased them. He took a deep breath, folding his hands like some weird therapist.

“Okay, first thing,” he started. “Look at Gonta and tell me he could hate  _ literally  _ anyone.”

Ryoma paused. “Yeah, okay, fair.”

“Second, you  _ do  _ deserve him, you dumbass.” Kokichi cringed and outwardly winced at his own words. He wasn’t expecting to give a mini pep talk to someone that day, but there he was. God, Kaede had rubbed off on him.

“Tell me you  _ don’t deserve him _ after all of the bullshit you’ve been through. He’s like, what?” Kokichi paused, trying to remember what Ryoma said that night when he typed in the wrong group chat. “The only other person you think you love or some gross, cheesy stuff like that? Just...go for it, man. You deserve him.”

_ Ew. It sounded wrong talking like that. _

“Hmph.” Ryoma chuckled. “Never thought I’d get a motivational speech from you of all people. Wish I could record this or something.”

“If you did, rest assured, I’d kill you,” Kokichi replied with the most serious face he could muster. Then he shrugged. His posture relaxed. “Anyways, Gonta  _ literally  _ told Rantaro that--spoiler alert!--he has a crush on you. So go, I dunno, get that super romantic confession scene with the guy.” 

“Wait, what?” Ryoma paused. “He  _ told _ \--”

“Yeah, I know, right? How come my dumbass boyfriend deals with so much romance stuff?” A grin grew on his face. “Now gooo!~ Go tell Gonta you have a giant crush on him or whatever.” he waved his arms around. That was one too many gross motivational pep talks for that day, so-- “Go kachow like Lightning McQueen or whatever.”

Ryoma still looked hesitant. Kokichi sighed.

“If you go tell Gonta that you have a  _ ginormous  _ crush on him and you’re in love with him, I’ll send you a video of Kirumi reading out some of the Bee Movie script.”

“Wait, she--” Kokichi shushed him with dramatic hand motions.

“...Okay, jeez, fine. You’re awful,” Ryoma said, although there was a hint of a smile in there. He waved as he stood up.

“Go get ya boyfriend, dummy!” Kokichi skipped away with a wave right back at him. He needed to play Minecraft with Rantaro to relax, because  _ boy _ was that taxing.

After he got a good while away, he let out a deep sigh, mixed with exhaustion and relief.

“Is  _ this  _ how Kaede felt with Ranty and me?” he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Ew, now I feel like apologizing.”

He shivered dramatically, even with no one there to see.

_ I hope those gay idiots all get together though... _

He kept walking to Rantaro's dorm.

-=-

_ AHHH, IT WAS HAPPENING! Calm down Tenko--IT’S HAPPENING!! _

Finally, the end of the day had come. Tenko and Himiko were walking from Hope’s Peak to the dorm area, books in their arms. Tenko was trying not to ramble too much, but alas. Tenko is Tenko.

  
“S-So, Himiko!” Tenko looked down at the girl. “Remember that time when Kaito got dared to drink those, like, 30 shot glasses of Mountain Dew in a row?”

A small smile grew on Himiko’s face. “Yeah. And then when Monomi asked him why he drank all of them, he just went,” she cleared her throat, doing an impression that sounded like a Walmart version of Kaito. “ _ I was thirsty _ .”

  
The two of them giggled.

“Gosh, that’s a killer Kaito impression, Himiko!” Tenko grinned. She was glad to hear her laugh. “Really captures all of the idiocy, you know?”

Himiko looked at her with a little bit of fondness. Tenko was probably making it up, but she might have been blushing, too. “Yeah. I stored up enough mana for that, so...” The red-haired girl was radiating pride, Tenko could feel it.

“Of course! It’s perfect!”

“Maybe...I could teach you to become a magician too…”

“Wow! Really?! How long will it take?”

“Nnn...it really depends on the person…” Himiko said, bringing a finger up to her chin in a sort of thinking posture. “You might take a little while longer, but I think you’ve already got the ‘making people happy’ thing down…and the  _ looks _ , too...” 

  
Tenko flushed. Himiko pulled her hat down.

_ Oh my god? Oh my god? Is Angie’s god actually real? Tenko feels like she’s just been blessed!! _

“W-What do you mean by that, Himiko?” Tenko asked, voice wavering.

“Umm...well, y-you just…” she stuttered out. “O-objectively, you…”

She abruptly pointed ahead of them. “Nnn! We’re nearly there! Let’s go!” 

She walked faster. Tenko shook herself out of her reverie and caught up with Himiko quickly.

“Yeah!” she smiled, trying to match Himiko’s excitement with hers. Himiko was  _ not  _ used to athletics at all, though, for when they got to Tenko’s dorm, she seemed winded. It was like how Kaito had described Shuichi when he first started doing push ups, except 1000% cuter because it was Himiko. 

Tenko held open the door for the magician and acted like a fancy butler.

“Um...you first, milady!” She tacked on a British accent.

“How shovel-russ...thank you,” Himiko replied, acting equally as fancy. She bowed. Tenko cracked a smile at that. She always found how Himiko messed up words so cute.

“Tenko thinks you mean chivalrous! Thank  _ you _ !”

  
The other girl flushed. “S-Same thing.” she looked around Tenko’s room, then her eyes went to Tenko’s frog. She pointed at her.   
  
“You have a frog?”

Tenko nodded, her eyes lighting up. “Yes! Her name’s Bonk! I love her so very much.” Himiko smiled.

“...Neat. She’s cool.”

Tenko beamed with pride. “Yes indeed, Himiko! Also, you can sit on Tenko’s bed, if that’s alright.”

Himiko nodded and sat down.

“Those are my stuffed animals, too!” Tenko pointed at them, lined up neatly next to her desk. “Tenko’s had those since she was a kid, for the most part, so she thought it would be nice to keep them for nostalgia’s sake!”

“Huh. Cute.”

“AHHSHDH?” Tenko yelled out, somehow. She flushed. That was...definitely not a comment that she expected from Himiko of all people. “THANKS?”

“Oh, I…” Himiko’s face grew redder. “I said that out loud.”

_   
_ _...How could one girl be so adorable? _ _   
  
_

“Y-Yes!” Tenko nodded vigorously. “Tenko thinks it was very sweet!”

They stayed there in silence for a little bit.

“So, umm…” Himiko started. She patted her short stack of books. “S-Studying?”

“Oh, yes, of course!” Tenko flipped through the pages of her math book in a sort of frantic panic before finding the page they needed to do. “There! It’s page 204, Himiko.”

She nodded, idly flipping to the page. 

_ Tenko feels like she’s forgetting something… _ she tapped on her book. Then--

“Right! The playlist!” she blurted out.

Himiko tilted her head in confusion. “Nnn?”

“Oh-uh-” Tenko coughed and tried to play it cool. “Kaede suggested earlier that...that Tenko should play some sort of background music. So, um, Tenko will get out her playlist! It’s, um, not classical or anything, though.”

Himiko made a vague noise of approval, and Tenko shuffled her playlist affectionately named “vibin!!!!!!!.” She didn’t expect anything out of the ordinary, but--

“ _ Here we go again, I kinda wanna be more than friends. _ ”

Tenko tried to stop herself from coughing again. She failed.

“...Nice music,” Himiko mumbled.

“Th-Thanks.”

Yeah, nice music, Tenko.

-=-

Kokichi Ouma was a surprisingly good source of motivation.

Ryoma had learned this in a...slightly unconventional way, but hey, it...worked.

_ Yeah. Yeah, I can do this. I’ll do it for Gonta. Kokichi, too, as annoying as he is _ , he thought.

_ And also for that video of Kirumi. _

He took a deep breath, and started to walk over to his long time crush sitting on the ground with that cat he saw earlier. It was a  _ very  _ good cat.

“...Hey, Gonta.”

_ Oh god. Ohhhh no. I’ve pulled the trigger. Fuck. _

Gonta looked up, eyes full of hope. That hope soon turned into a sort of vague disappointment, though.

Ryoma winced at himself.

“Ryoma!! Gonta’s been looking for you all over the place!” The cat he’d been petting slithered away, leaving the two of them alone. Gonta sighed. “Why did you run away? Gonta saw you earlier, so…”

He hated seeing the big guy so...sad. It was like someone punched him in the gut. He pulled down his hat. May as well rip the bandaid off quickly.

“Y’know, it sounds dumb now. Really uncool. But, uh, after what happened in the group chat, I thought you might--” he sighed. “--hate me?” He kept his eyes locked on the ground. Yeah, that wouldn’t get a great reaction.

Best to be honest, though.

“What?” Gonta was obviously shocked.

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” Ryoma looked up and saw a frown on Gonta’s face. “Not...the best thought process, but you kn-”

“Gonta could never hate you!” he interrupted. Ryoma flinched. He didn’t...expect that reaction, somehow.

“You’re always so kind. A-And wonderful!”

_ Huh? Fuckin’  _ pardon?

  
Ryoma stayed quiet, though. He didn’t know what to say.

Though, in his brain, it was anything but quiet.

“Gonta...he, uh…” the other boy struggled to find his thoughts. “He thinks you’re amazing! Really! No matter how much you think otherwise. Um...and he thinks it’s really great that you’re okay with bugs! Because, um. Most people think that they’re gross. And he also thinks that it’s sweet that you love cats. He thinks that it’s...what’s the word… charming?”

Gonta smiled. Ryoma flushed.

“I, uh, thank you, but--” Ryoma tried to find the words that he wanted to say. He resisted the urge to awkwardly cough. Sirens were going off in his head.

_ Oh my god? Hooooly shit. Stay cool, Ryoma. Stay cool. Ouhfhf. _

“Y...You know, Gonta,” he started. “I think I could say all the same to you.”

Gonta looked kind of confused. It was endearing, in a way. 

Ryoma sighed, trying to gather his words yet again. He looked to...literally anywhere other than Gonta to ground himself.

“I think you’re amazing, too. Kinda admire you, really. You’re probably the kindest person I’ve ever met.” he laughed.

He probably sounded ridiculous and clumsy. Like each sentence he said could be punctuated with awkward finger guns and be completely appropriate.

But, hey, that’s alright.

“You always say that you’re dumb, but...you’re really not? You’re…a literal scientist, and frankly, that doesn’t seem like ‘dumb’ to me. It sucks how you don’t see just how great you are. You’re just, uh, really, really great. Yeah.”

He looked back at Gonta, and saw that his face was red.

_ Hey, we’re matching. Nice to know. But also: _

_ Oh my GOD. Stay calm. Stay totally awesome, Ryoma. _

“S-So what I’m trying to say is--”

He took one last deep breath.

“Gonta, I like you. A lot.”

-=-

Himiko was getting...restless.

Not only because of the studying, but also because she had wanted to  _ just…say something _ . Something about the crush that she’s had on the girl. Something about how much she wanted to stay in all day and just cuddle.   
  


But alas.

  
They’d only studied for, what? The last hour and a half?

Himiko sighed. 

“Nnnn, Tenko…”

Tenko looked up from her laptop in an instant.

“Ah! Yes! What is it, Himiko?”

_ I think you’re cute and I kind of want to kiss you. _

“...Can we take a break? I’m getting tired of studying…”

Fuck.

“Oh, of course!” Tenko smiled and shut her laptop. “Tenko was...thinking that, too!”

Himiko resisted a smile.

“Yeah...math’s boring,” she said. 

Suddenly, she realized something that made her face heat up. Tenko, of course, noticed.

“What’s wrong, Himiko? You have this cute blush on your face!” she asked. “Or are you sick? Tenko can go get something for you!” the girl immediately jumped up and off the bed, ready to go sprint over to Mikan to ask for medicine or something of the sort. Himiko found it sweet.

“N-No, it’s not that,” Himiko managed to stammer out. Tenko relaxed, but only a little bit. 

“Then what is it?” 

“Um...where am I gonna sleep tonight? Y-Y’know, since it’s a. A sleepover.”

“OH!” Tenko yelled. Her face was steadily growing redder and redder.

Himiko could almost hear Tsumugi’s voice saying something about how cliche this situation was. ‘And there was only one bed,’ she’d say, dramatic lighting accompanying her.

She shook the thought out of her head.

“W-Well,” Tenko looked away. “We could just...share, maybe? U-Unless you’re uncomfortable with that! Then in that case, Tenko  _ will  _ go to your room and carry the mattress all the way here!” 

_ Ah _ , she thought.  _ Girl strong... _

“I--no, it’s fine. I’ll sleep...here.” She smiled as she watched Tenko try to contain her cheer and failing.

“Ahh, yay!”

“I’d like it, honestly…” she muttered.

“Hmm? What was that, Himiko?”

“Um, nothing.”

_ Come on, Himiko...you can do it… _ she thought, trying to motivate herself. She started to tremble, like she always did when she got anxious.

Tenko took alarm to this. Of course she did. Himiko almost at the thought for a split second, but it didn’t mean she would stop shaking.

“Himiko!! Are you  _ sure  _ you’re alright?” Tenko rushed to her side.

“Nnn...yeah, sorry,” she said, calming down a bit.

“Don’t apologize! It’s okay!”

Himiko paused.

“...C-Can I have a hug?”

_...Was that too forward? Oh well, it’s already been said, huh? _

Tenko looked at her with surprise.

Then, she smiled.

“Of course!! You can  _ always  _ have a hug!”

And Tenko hugged her.

She was warm and nice to hug. Tenko had let her hair down during this study session, so Himiko could feel it as she hugged her. It was...surprisingly soft. Himiko felt her face getting warm as she grew more at ease. 

But to her disappointment, when Himiko stopped her shaking, Tenko pulled away from the hug. She had a lopsided grin on her face.

“Better?”

“Mmm...yeah.” Himiko nodded. “Thanks…”

  
“No problem!” Tenko giggled and leaned back. “So, how come you were all shaky? Or do you not wanna talk about it?”

_ Now’s a better time than any, right? Come on... _

“Umm…” Himiko looked to the side. “Well, uh.”

Tenko looked at her with curious eyes and still a hint of a grin on her face.

_ Oh my god. Holy crap. Ohhhhhh...I’m gonna go crazy. _

“Ahhhh, I can’t take it!” she blurted out. Tenko flinched.

“Wh--”

Tenko always talked about being open about feelings, right? So--

“Tenko! I like you! Like,  _ a lot  _ more than just a friend!”

-=-

“Gonta, I like you. A lot.”

Gonta turned red.

Wait a second. What? Hang on--

“Huh?” he asked, genuinely confused.

“Do I really have to say it again?” Ryoma sighed, but with a small smile on his face. “God, I sound like some dumb schoolboy. But, uh, I’ve got a  _ ‘giant crush on you’ _ as Kokichi’d prolly say, ha.”

He took a second to really process the situation. 

“Ahh, wait, really?! Wh-Why, though?” he sighed. “Cause Gonta--he’s not...good...enough?”

He internally cringed at the way that he phrased that. That wasn’t what he wanted to say. He just could never find the right words, huh?

_ Ahhh...Get your act together, Gonta!! _

“Hey.” Ryoma walked over and set a hand on Gonta’s shoulder, as Gonta was sitting on the ground. “Don’t say that.”

Gonta felt a sort of warm fuzzy feeling grow in his heart. He tried to ignore it, but had a fit of soft giggling. He couldn’t describe what that feeling was, but...it was good.

He was giddy, to say the least.

“Th-Thank you so much!! It’s just...you’re really--” Gonta paused. “--great? Gonta doesn’t know the right words, sorry…”

“Hmph. You don’t have to apologize so much, you know.” Ryoma sat down next to him and pulled down his hat. “And, yeah, I get what you’re saying.”

Was that a little bit of blush that Gonta saw? He felt a smile grow on his face.

“Ahh, how cute!”

Wait.

His hands went up to his mouth. “S-Sorry! Gonta didn’t mean to say that out loud…” he looked to the side, obviously embarrassed.

Ryoma let out a short laugh and lightly punched Gonta’s arm. Gonta looked back to him. “Hey, didn’t I tell you to not say sorry so much?”

“Oh, sor--uh--Gonta gives up…” he looked down at Ryoma with a wary grin, but saw that Ryoma was straight up  _ laughing _ . Gonta felt that fuzzy feeling again. He laughed with Ryoma, just happy to, you know, be there with him.

It was nice.

Really nice, actually.

After their laughter had subsided, Ryoma said something that Gonta wasn’t really expecting, somehow.

“Thank you.”

Gonta paused.

“Huh?” he tilted his head. “What is there to thank Gonta for?”

Ryoma leaned forward a little and shrugged.

“Honestly? Don’t really know.” he picked at the grass. “Everything, I guess?”

Gonta nearly died right then and there. But, like, in a good way, somehow? He didn’t know. It was like that fuzzy feeling from earlier, except multiplied 10 times. He smiled softly while his face got warmer.

“O--oh!” his eyes shifted down to the ground. “Um...Gonta doesn’t really know what he did, but, th-thank you, too!”

“Pfft, are you kidding me?”

“Hm?” Gonta had started picking at the grass. He saw a four leaf clover.

He was pretty lucky today, yeah.   
  
“You know you’ve made me really--” he sighed, like he was about to cringe at his next words. “--happy, right? Even on those days when I don’t want to do anything except lie on my bed and watch shitty videos for 10 hours straight.”

Gonta looked back up at Ryoma. The shorter boy was twirling a dandelion in one hand. 

“Gonta’s so glad he can make you happy!” his voice was a little shaky, but it was fine. He was getting weirdly choked up. “You make Gonta really happy too, you know! Ryoma, you don’t--” He sighed like a yearning gay on Tumblr would. “--give yourself enough credit, Gonta thinks. Gonta hopes that he--I can...um...make you feel better about yourself!”

Gonta was proud about his dorky mini-speech. He might have stumbled, but he got his point across, and really, that was all that mattered.

“O-Oh.” Ryoma looked at him. He looked kind of...surprised. Kaito would describe it as starstruck. “Well, I guess you already have. But, uh, anyways…”

  
“Do you maybe wanna go to a cat cafe with me soon? Or anything, honestly. I don’t really, uh, care.”

_   
_ _ A date? _ _   
  
_

“Of course!!” Gonta replied in an instant, and his eyes lit up.

Ryoma smiled. What a great smile.

“Cool. Totally rad.” Ryoma punctuated the sentence with finger guns. Gonta had only really seen Kaede and Kokichi do that, but he thought it was kind of cute coming from Ryoma, too.   
  


“Kitties are sweet!” he sighed. “Gonta just hopes he doesn’t hurt them…”

Ryoma let out a little laugh.

  
“Trust me, buddy, you couldn’t hurt  _ anything _ .”

-=-

“Tenko! I like you! Like,  _ a lot  _ more than just a friend!”

Tenko froze.

_ What what what what hello? Am I alive? Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?? Whahwhahhahshdfh!! _

“Tenk--”

“HAHWAHHA?!” Tenko flinched and automatically went into a battle stance.

Concern was written all over Himiko’s face.

Tenko stammered.

“I-I-I’m sorry! Give Tenko a second, please!! She--she can’t--”

Himiko nodded. “Hey. It’s okay.”

_ Ohmygodohmygodohmyg-- _

“Do you need, like, another hug or something?”

_ OHMYGODOHMYGODOH-- _

“N-NO!” she blurted out.

Himiko deflated a bit.

“Nonono, it’s not like your hugs are bad! It’s just--Tenko might. Explode or s-something. J-Just give her a second, okay?”   
  


“‘Kay.”

Tenko turned to the wall. She put her head in her hands.

_ Okay, Tenko! Think, think, think! Just. Relax. Remember! Breathe! Just...breathe. Yeah. _

In…

Out…

In...

...Yeah. Okay, okay, okay. She felt better. She turned back to Himiko, who was twiddling her thumbs.

_ Ohmygodhowisshesocute--breathe, Tenko! _

“Okay! Tenko’s back, baby!” 

Himiko blushed. “C-Cool...so, um...what I said--”

Tenko thought about her whole romantic speech that she’d prepared the night before.

And then she threw it all out the window. 

“YES! Yes, um--” Tenko stuttered. She took a deep breath. “I--I like you too! Like, a  _ lot _ , wow...Tenko’d be surprised if you...didn’t already know.” 

She giggled, laugh sprinkled with a little bit of anxiety.

Himiko looked down. Her face was red.

_ Oh that is the most adorable thing I have EVER seen. _

Himiko muttered, “I’ve heard people say stuff like that, but, uh...I-I never thought it was really true…”

“AHHh how?? Tenko thought it was really obvious.” she giggled again while wringing her hands.

“Nnn...I guess I noticed, but I dunno...I’m not that smart, so…” 

Tenko opened her mouth to retaliate, but then closed it again. She thought about it for a second.

“Ahhh, um, it’s true that you aren’t the  _ sharpest  _ tool in the shed, but you’re still wonderful!” she explained, hands now at her cheeks. “Really wonderful, yeah!”

Himiko flushed at that.

“Ahh...thanks, Tenko…”

“Anything for you, Himiko!” she smiled.

Tenko was unbelievably happy.

Himiko messed with the brim of her hat some more, face still red. She looked like she was thinking about something.

“So, um, Tenko.”

“Yes?” she responded, maybe too quick.

“D-does this make us--” Himiko pulled down her hat some more. “--g-girlfriends?” Her voice drifted off.

“O-OH!!” 

Tenko didn’t think about that…

Well, she’s definitely thought about Himiko being her girlfriend. She won’t lie about that. But now that it was actually happening, like,  _ in real life _ ...

She felt her face warm up and her pulse quicken and those dumb butterflies everyone talks about were fluttering like crazy. 

“I--um--” she stuttered, and coughed a bit. She’d fake-coughed a lot that day, huh? “I-if you want to, Himiko! P-personally, I’d love to--to be your girlfriend.”

In an instant, Tenko covered her face and sort of ducked.

“Ahhh,” Tenko said, laughing. “This is so embarrassing! A-And here Tenko thought that she’d be all dramatic and smooth…”

Himiko giggled softly. Tenko joined in, looking up.

“You know,” Himiko started. “I-I’m really happy. And, um, I think it’d be really, uh, nice? Yeah. It’d be nice to be your g-girlfriend.”

_ Oh my god am I in love? I think I’m in love. Sappho’s really blessed me today. _

“AHHhh, Tenko is really, really happy too!” Tenko squealed.

She tried to calm herself down by taking deep breaths, but that just dissolved into a fit of giggles.

“Heyyy!” Himiko scooted closer to her. She pouted. “Wh-why are you laughing??”

“Nothing! It’s just--” she sighed, happy. “Tenko’s just kind of...giddy! Yeah! Really…”

She noticed how close Himiko had gotten. Her heart got caught in her throat.

“...g-giddy.”

Himiko realized it a little bit after her.

“Nn...sorry, I can move or--”   
  


“N-NO this is fine!” Tenko blurted out. “If you’re, um, okay with it.”

Himiko paused. She nodded.

Then, she hugged Tenko softly, sort of melting into her arms.

Tenko nearly short circuited. 

She was unresponsive for a solid 3 seconds before she realized that she should probably hug Himiko back. Her face somehow got redder, and she put her arms around the girl’s small frame.

“You’re...really soft,” Tenko said, voice wavering.

Himiko hummed a little noise of acceptance. “Can we, like...just stay like this for a while? ‘M tired.”

Tenko nodded immediately. “Y-yeah, of course!!”   
  


_ Holy shit, this is the best day ever. _

-=-

And now let’s look at the cat cafe a few days later.

Gonta held the door open for Ryoma with a smile.   
  


They pet cats and ran into a certain pair on the street. Two girls with green and purple hair. Turns out they were going to the same cat cafe, so they talked while lounging around on the couch.

Ryoma had been there a couple of times, and his favorite, Haru, was there. Big dick was back in town. Haru was a Russian Blue, Ryoma’s favorite. Bless.

Gonta liked a light colored one with orange splotches. A little heart was on its butt.

They sipped coffee and laughed about the dumbest stuff.

  
Ryoma noticed Kirumi and Rantaro in awful ‘disguises’ outside. He stuck his tongue out at them while Rantaro gave him a thumbs up while walking away. Kirumi simply nodded.

They were walking back to Hope’s Peak when Gonta made a move that Ryoma didn’t expect.

“Um, sorry if Gonta’s being too forward, but,” he looked away. “Can Gonta hold your hand…? Y-You don’t have to, but--!!”

“UCHk--” Ryoma nearly choked. Smooth. “Y...Yeah. That’s, uh, that’s okay.”

To put it bluntly, after some fumbling around, those flustered dorks did indeed hold hands.

  
“Huh…” Gonta smiled fondly. “Ryoma’s hand is pretty small…”

Ryoma snorted, even though his face was flushed. “Well, yeah. You’re infinitely taller than me, so it makes sense.”

“Ah, I guess so…” He giggled.

“Hey, Gonta. Wanna know something?”   
  


“Hm?”   
  


“You really are amazing.”   
  


And for the first time in a long time, Ryoma was truly happy.

-=-

The two girls were in Tenko’s bed, both happy but wildly tired.

Himiko stared at the girl across from her, a little mesmerized.

“Girlfriend, huh…” she muttered. She softly set her hand on Tenko’s cheek.

Tenko flushed, and Himiko giggled. “Y-yes!! Girlfriend! You’re...my girlfriend.” she fidgeted with a tiny smile. “Wow, haha, Tenko’s waited a while to call you that, aha--is that creepy? I hope it’s not--”

“Can I kiss you?” the words tumbled out of Himiko’s mouth before she could stop herself. 

_ I’m an idiot. I’m a dumb idiot. _

Himiko immediately mumbled apologies and blushed. She wasn’t supposed to say that out loud. She looked away.

“Wha--no, no, no, don’t apologize!!” Tenko’s hand went to hers. Himiko looked up and saw that Tenko’s face was beet red.

“Nnnn...but still...it’s rude of me…”

“N-no, it’s not, trust me!!” Tenko rubbed little circles into her hand. Himiko couldn’t help smiling at that little gesture. “M...maybe I can take you up on that offer..?”

Himiko froze, and about a million thoughts ran through her head.

“Uh,” she replied, definitely eloquent. She cleared her throat. “Y-Yeah, sure…”

“Tenko’s--I’ve never actually--”

“Me neither.”

They paused, taking a second to just look into each other's eyes.

Tenko giggled. “We’re ridiculous.”

Himiko smiled. “Yeah…”

And they kissed, soft and quick and sweet.

“I could do that maybe a million more times,” Tenko whispered, giggling softly.

“Yeah, me too…” Himiko whispered back.

She leaned in for another kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> insert that one claire saffitz quote where she's like "i cant accept any criticism right now" because gigantic mood. anyways!!!!! a tenmiko kiss to end off the decade. bless.
> 
> HAVE A NICE DAY AND 2020 TOO DON'T FORGET THAT YOU'RE WONDERFUL <3333333

**Author's Note:**

> ah i hope that was ok!! if anyone's reading this, tell me if this was good at all haha
> 
> i'll probs add some more chaps later!!


End file.
